


Sweet Child of Mine

by ladyofthursday



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Family Drama, Fatherhood, Fluff and Angst, Original Character(s), Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-22
Updated: 2017-06-11
Packaged: 2018-10-09 10:08:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 55,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10409736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyofthursday/pseuds/ladyofthursday
Summary: Parenthood is definitely not on Sam's current to do list. But when a phone call out of the blue and a breakfast meeting leaves him with exactly this news, it sets off a whole new chapter of family drama. After everything, how do you deal with a bombshell like that? Besides, does he even know how to be a father?





	1. Why is it always 2am?

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I originally posted this on FF.net but I've tidied it up and tweaked it a bit!  
> When I first started this I think I was on season 5 (?) I'm still not all caught up (curse you grad school!), hence why the timeline is a little screwy but this is probably season 8ish - with timeline tweaking because of the dates I wanted to use! However I really wanted to get this out. Also I haven't written in ages so please bare with me.  
> I actually have a massive favour to ask everyone and I'll include details at the bottom.

It was the middle of the night when Sam’s phone rang. He was in bed, crashed out in a deep dreamless sleep when he woke, fuzzy headed and bleary eyed. His phone was buzzing and ringing angrily on the stand next to him, with one hand he reached for it. The numbers on the screen said 2.30am and the caller ID just showed a random number he didn’t recognise. Sam groaned as he pressed the green button. Who the hell was calling him at this time of night? Please just stop ringing!

“Hello?” his voice was hoarse and he coughed, “hello?”

“Sam? Sam is that you?”

“Yeah it’s Sam…” he paused, the voice on the other end was female and vaguely familiar but he couldn’t place it. He knew he should be suspicious of calls from strange women at this time of night, but right now he was too tired to care. There was a sigh of relief on the end of the line.

“Thank God. I hoped I’d got your number right. It’s Laura.”

“Laura… Laura…are you ok?” Sam did remember her; they’d met several months ago, on a job in Minnesota.

“Yeah… yeah… I’m sorry it’s so late by the way. I was just wondered where you are at the moment?”

“Oregon… is everything ok?” he pushed gently, there was something not quite right here. Something she wasn’t telling him.

“I’m fine, I just… I just need your help… well your advice really…”

Another pause. Sam rubbed his eyes and yawned, stretching one arm above head, hearing his shoulder pop.

“Right now?”

“No… not right now… can I meet you for breakfast? Just you, if that’s ok? Is there somewhere near where you’re staying?”

Sam thought for a second, then he gave her the name of a diner on the corner and the name of the town.

“Great,” he could hear the relief in her voice, “I’ll see you at 8.30?”

“Sounds great.”

He hung up and crashed back onto the mattress. In the other motel bed, Dean hadn’t stirred. Sometimes he could be a ridiculously heavy sleeper. Either that or he was just pretending. Either way, right now Sam didn’t care. It was 2.36am and all he wanted was sleep.

 

* * *

 

When he woke it was to Dean singing, slightly tunelessly, while packing up.

“Rise and shine Sammy.” Sam rubbed his eyes as he sat up.

“What time is it?”

“Eight,” his brother answered, glancing across at Sam and smirking slightly. “You better get up Sleeping Beauty or you’ll be late for your date.”

Sam groaned, pulling himself out of bed, and began searching for some clean clothes.

“I knew you were awake.”

“Well who wouldn’t be when your phone goes off at 2 in the morning! But I didn’t want to disturb you as she’s clearly desperate to see you.” He dodged as Sam threw a pair of dirty socks at his head. 

Sam paused and ran Dean’s words over in his head, alongside what he could remember of his conversation with Laura.

“About that…. Do you think there’s something wrong?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, it’s just the late night call, the wanting to meet and she didn’t sound good… like she was scared.”

“Well maybe something scared her.” Sam sighed at his brother, that was an obvious statement.  Dean ignored him and continued, “c’mon, what’s the worst that could happen? Maybe she just misses your company?!”

He dodged again as Sam threw a book at him.

 

* * *

 

 

They’d met Laura while they’d been hunting vampires in Minnesota last October. They’d known her for three days, then as always, everyone had gone their separate ways. She was pretty and funny and smart. Another child of hunter parents who’d raised largely by her father and then her grandmother.

Technically she was doctor, or at least she’d been to med school and done a year or so in hospital. Then her father had died of heart failure; too much whiskey and stress and she’d decided to take some crazy year out and go back to hunting for a while. Everything her family had tried to get her away from.

The four of them spent the last night in a bar, drinking beer and whiskey and slowly getting drunker and drunker. Sam was pretty sure there had also been tequila shots courtesy of Dean as well - that had been a bad idea! When they'd finally left, he'd carried Laura back to her room at a local motel. Dean had laughed, saying they looked like some weird married couple. Then he’d fallen over a paving stone and Sam nearly dropped her from laughing so much.

It had been one of those weird, fun nights. Afterwards you forget some details and remember others. She’d been so in awe of meeting them. Like they were some legendary figures or mystical heroes. In the morning, they parted ways. Each with a slightly throbbing head, and that had been that.

Until now.

The diner wasn’t busy. It was dank Wednesday morning at the end of February, and it had been raining on and off for the past day or two. Not really going out for breakfast weather.

There was the tinkling of a bell somewhere as he pushed the door open and stepped inside, glancing round over the heads of the locals for a spare table where Laura would be able to see him when she arrived. But to his surprise she was already there, sat towards the back of the room at a slightly secluded table. She was looking round, waiting, and gave a small wave when she caught sight of him.  

Sam looked at her carefully as he made his way across to her. She was pale and drawn, with dark circles under her eyes. She kept pushing her dark hair out of her face and there was small mug of coffee, clutched in her fingers. She didn’t get up as he approached but smiled wearily.

“Hey, I’m so glad you could make it… I’m sorry about the late call, I just…” there was a pause as Sam sat down, “never mind, how’re you? Long time, no see! I’m sorry I had to order some coffee, it’s been a long night!” 

“I’m ok, tired though but not too bad. Are you ok?”

“Yeah, I’m ok… just tired… I drove all night so that’s why I look so awful!” she smiled weakly at him. Sam stared, slightly open mouthed.

“Just to see me?”

“Like I said, I need some advice.”

“Couldn’t you just have called?”

“Probably… but I thought it would be easier this way.”

The waitress came and took their order. Laura used it as an excuse to change the topic and they talked for a while about other things, hunting mostly, and she asked about ghouls. And what he and Dean had been up to since she saw them last.

There was another pause. Sam watched her pushed bits of pancake around her plate, she was hardly eating. Something wasn’t right here. Maybe Dean was right, something had really scared her. He reached across the table and touched her hand.

“Laura, what’s going on? You didn’t drive all this way just to ask me about ghouls or talk to me about hunting. Just tell me what’s wrong.”

She didn’t look at him and stared at the plate of pancakes instead. Sam’s patience was starting to wear thin and he sighed, sitting back in his chair.

“Look you didn’t come all this way for nothing.”

Another pause. He heard her take a deep breath.

“I didn’t, I’m sorry I just needed to talk to you about something. About what happened in Minnesota…”

“Ok…”

“Sam… I’m pregnant.”

If Laura had to guess, those words were like detonating a nuclear bomb. She watched the fallout in slow motion.

Whatever Sam had been thinking of saying beforehand had evaporated in second. Instead his mouth fell open and a look of shock, mingled with horror slid onto his face. His eyes widened and two little lines appeared between his eyebrows.

He stared at her, as if he couldn’t believe his ears. Couldn’t believe what she had just said.

“Pregnant? What do you mean pregnant?” he ran his fingers through his hair, looking at her seriously. Laura tried to look him in the eye, but she found she couldn’t and instead gazed at his torso. “How did this happen?”

It was a stupid question he knew. Sam remembered exactly what had happened on that last night in Minnesota. It was all coming back to him in agonising detail. Plus, he realised, that statement made him look incredibly stupid. The former Stanford student with no idea of basic biology.

Laura smiled and exhaled a little laugh at him.

“Well Sam, when a man and a woman –”

“– I know that. I mean how…” he paused, this conversation was rapidly heading into awkward territory. They’d been careful, hadn’t they? He had always, always been careful. It was one thing Dean had hammered into his head since he was, what thirteen? Sex was the same as hunting; always protect yourself.

Dean.

What the hell was his brother going to say about this?

Laura was speaking again, but he realised he hadn’t been listening and was instead thinking about how he might explain this to Dean and then probably to Cas too. Maybe Dean would find it funny? Yeah right and hellhounds wore pink ribbons and made great family pets!

“Sorry, what did you say?”

“I said, it must have been an accident. I mean nothing is ever, ever full proof right? I mean, depending on what you use there’s up to a, what, 2% chance and I guess that’s us.” She smiled, but it was hollow and empty. She really wished the coffee had whiskey in. Or was just whiskey. Either would be fine although, right now, any alcohol was strictly off the table – at least for her. “Congratulations, we hit the jackpot.”

Laura looked up at him for the first time. Sam thought she might cry.

“You’re going to be a father.”

They sat in silence for a while.

Sam tried to process everything that had happened in the last fifteen minutes and found his brain power sadly lacking. He couldn’t focus. No helpful thoughts came. Nothing except the words _I’m pregnant_ and _You’re going to be a father_ echoing over and over around his mind. 

Nothing had scared him more than this. Right now he’d rather fight an army of demons than deal with this. He’d even face Lucifer single handed.

Well maybe that was an overstatement.

But still, be a father?

Sure he’d thought about having children before. But those thoughts had usually centred on a normal life, with a wife and a house and a normal career. And those things were long past ever happening. He hadn’t really thought about it for a while, not seriously.

He wanted to say something, something to break the silence. Something that didn’t sound accusatory. Instead he said;

“Are you sure?”

“Pretty damn. I’ve got hospital proof and everything if you want to see.”

“Oh… and you’re sure it’s…” how did you ask this question without sounding incredibly rude? Laura seemed to read his mind though.

“How am I sure it’s yours? Well, uhhh … I…” she sighed, “To be totally honest with you, I know it’s your baby because you are the only person I’ve slept with in a while. Being a doctor and then hunting doesn’t leave much time for relationships.”   

“Oh…”

“But if you don’t believe me we can get it tested when it’s born. Or I’ll take some form of truth test – can Cas do those?”

“No, I mean… it’s ok, I guess I believe you.”

“I wouldn’t lie, I promise. I mean, I wouldn’t do that to you, to anybody for that matter.” She wondered if she should tell him that she hadn’t thought about telling him to begin with.

Another pause. Laura swigged the final bit of her coffee and shuddered. It was cold and slightly grainy.

“Are you going to keep it?” Sam looked at her, his eyes focused and slightly cold.

“Yeah… I think so… I mean… yeah…”

“Right,”

“Look,” Laura interrupted before he could finish, “I know this isn’t ideal, that neither of us wanted this or even thought it was ever going to happen. And I know hunters make crappy parents most of the time and I’m not asking for anything from you. Anything! You can be involved as much as you want. If you want to walk out that door and never speak to me again I wouldn’t blame you and I wouldn’t ever dream of asking you to be a father if you don’t want to be. I just thought… I just thought you ought to know.”

Sam didn’t answer. She was giving him an out, right there. Just get up and leave. Pretend it hadn’t happened and ignore it.

But that wasn’t who he was.

“How far along are you?” was all he said instead.

“About four months. Hence the shirt.” She gestured at the large, plaid shirt she was wearing. “I’m just starting to show.”

“So, you’re due in July then?”

“About then, they’re putting me at the end of July. Around the 25th I think.”

Sam nodded. He counted backwards quickly. About four months took them to the end of October. To a motel in Minnesota. 

“How long have you known?” What he actually wanted to ask was; if she was that far along why hadn’t she told him sooner. But he knew that wasn’t the right thing to say.

“Not long. I guess about two or three weeks. You’re gonna think it’s stupid but I just didn’t know. I mean, I wasn’t planning on it happening. And I’ve been so busy I just didn’t notice that things had… well…stopped. And then I just thought it was stress or a bug that was making me sick. Until I passed out and ended up in hospital.”

That explained the hospital proof then.

“I have to say, you’re handling this pretty well.”

For the first time Sam smiled. It was a soft and slightly weak, but it lit up his face in a way that made her smile too.

“Well, I guess I don’t have much choice. I mean, I don’t want to just ignore you. I’m not that kind of person.”

“Look, you don’t have to decide right now what you want to do. You’ve got my number, just have a think and give me call. And look, here’s my address,” She slid a piece of paper across the table. “You’re always welcome to come see me. I’m pretty sure my hunting days are over. At least for now.”

“Yeah, I think so!” He took the piece of paper and tucked it into his pocket. He pulled out a couple of notes and put them on the table. “Do you wanna go outside? You look like you could use some air.”

“Yeah, that’d be great. I can’t seem to go for a few hours without puking my guts up and these pancakes are not helping.”

She stood up. The bottom of her shirt had come unbuttoned and underneath was a dark t-shirt, tucked into her jeans, that was stretching over a small bump. Oddly, it intrigued him and he wanted to reach out and touch it.

Laura noticed and reached out for his hand, placing it on top of the little bump.

“Bump meet your daddy. Daddy, meet bump.”

Sam smiled and strange, warm feeling washed over him. He didn’t notice, but a tear slid down his cheek.  

 

* * *

 

Dean was sat in the Impala, bored out of mind. He’d bought and eaten breakfast (a lot of coffee and six doughnuts) and was now waiting. And it sucked.

He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel and glanced at his watch. How long did it take to have breakfast anyway? Maybe they’d gone back to the motel? Nah he’d have seen them leave the diner. Dean smirked to himself, seriously how subtle did Sam think he was being anyway? It really didn’t take a genius to work out what was going on. This girl obviously really liked Sam and wanted more. If it was serious hunting business, then Sam wouldn’t have minded him joining them for breakfast. But no, Sam had to go alone. Which meant Dean was clearly not wanted and he knew what that usually meant.

He had vague memories of last October and the girl that we suspected Sam had gone to meet. At least he remembered them getting drunk in a bar with a cute hunter chick they’d met a couple days earlier and then Sam carrying this girl back to her room. And staying there.

Maybe he should go get more food? Pie sounded like a good idea. Second breakfast pie.

He was just contemplating this, when he saw them come out of the diner on the corner. Neither of them looked anything like overjoyed or intimate or romantic. More like cold and frosty. They were talking though.

Dean watched as the two of them paused on the corner and then, with a slightly awkward hug, parted ways again. 

Sam watched her go, his hands in his jacket pockets. He turned and saw his brother staring at him from the inside of the Impala and rolled his eyes. Dean smirked and raised his eyebrows.

“So, Sammy, how was your date?” he asked, as his brother climbed awkwardly into the front seat. Sam said nothing, gazing out of the window instead. “C’mon, tell me. What did she want? Did she just want to see your cute puppy face again? Relive the good ol’ vampire hunting, motel days?” He was teasing, but it wasn’t fun. It seemed more like poking a bear with a stick.

“Dean, can we please just go?!” Sam snapped.

Dean gave a low whistle as he started the car and pulled into the road. Things had clearly not gone well. 

 


	2. I need more beer!

The drive back to the bunker was not fun. Sam was moody and silent the entire way and practically growled at Dean whenever he tried to bring up Laura. Or any subject at all. He even tried to put music on and Sam had switched it straight off and gave him a look that said _switch that back on and I will end you_.

Eventually the deafening silence became so grating, Dean knew he had to say something. It had been nine hours already and he couldn’t take much more.

Sam couldn’t think straight. His head was pounding and he needed a drink. Instead he was stuck in the Impala with Dean, who kept trying to make sly comments and find out what happened. All he wanted was silence and fresh air so he could figure this out. Their conversation in the diner kept replaying over and over in his head but one thought stood out clearly amongst all the chatter in his mind. He wanted to be a better dad that John Winchester.

He realised too late that Dean was pulling the car over and switching off the engine. In the middle of nowhere.

“What the hell? Why are you stopping here?!”

“We gotta talk.”

“Wha?? Why?” Sam spluttered but it was no good.

“Because you are being a moody little bitch and it sucks. Get out.” Sam hauled himself out of the car and watched Dean rummaging around in Baby’s trunk. He pulled out a couple of beers and handed one to his brother.

“Something’s going on with you so spill, right here right now and tell me what the hell is going on.”

Sam said nothing and sipped the beer. It was slightly warm but it was better than nothing. How was he going to tell Dean? His big brother, who always looked out for him. Would be upset? Happy? Angry? Would he blame Sam? Or would he blame Laura? It wasn’t her fault and it wasn’t his either. As Laura had said, accidents happen and this time they had been the unlucky ones.

Dean said nothing, as if he could sense the internal struggle going on inside his brother’s head. They stood silently for a minute.

“She’s pregnant.”

Dean snapped out of his thoughts.

“What?”

“She’s pregnant.” Sam said, slower this time; giving both words weight.

Dean dropped his beer. The bottle smashed on the side of the road.

“Son of a bitch.”

“Well… it could be girl.” Sam chuckled and drained his beer, hoping there were more in the trunk. Laughter seemed to be the only way to deal with it right now.

“What the hell do you mean pregnant?” Dean seemed to be struggling with the concept. There was a note of shock tinged with anger in his voice. On the other hand, how often do you find our you’re going to be an uncle to your brother’s bastard. Born from a one night stand no less.

“I mean that we had sex and now she is with child. My child.”

“I’m not an idiot Sammy. I mean, how on earth could you let this happen?” Dean could feel the anger rising. He knew it was irrational, but he couldn’t stop. “Didn’t I always tell you to use protection? Always! How could you be so stupid?”

“Yeah Dean, because we did this deliberately! Because when we were in that motel room, we sat there and thought _Condoms? Who needs condoms?_ _We’ll be fine! We can beat the odds?_ Or how about _Jee we both want kids, lets make a baby now even though we’ve only know each other three days!_ So yeah, Dean we were careful, because I’m always careful but sometimes accidents happen.” He paused to catch his breath, he hadn’t realised he’d been shouting. Dean was staring at him. “Didn’t you ever think about it happening to you? I mean all those girls you’ve been with, all those random hook ups and one night stands, didn’t you think it could ever happen? I mean, you thought Ben was yours, didn’t you? That would have been exactly the same!”

This caught Dean off guard for a second. Had he ever thought about it happening? I mean, chances are it could have and Sam was right about Ben. Still it was one of those things you never thought about, it took all the fun out of it. He remembered Emma and realised it had, but shook the thought from his mind, glad for a second that his brother hadn’t bought it up. That had been different. Very, very different. All the same, maybe he shouldn’t be angry with Sam.

But that didn’t mean he wasn’t. 

“I need more beer.”

 

* * *

 

_October 29 th. Laurel Grove Inn, Minnesota. _

_There was a bar five minutes’ walk from the motel. They’d started drinking at six and by half ten were already well on their way to wasted. Sam blamed Dean and his ‘bright idea’ of ordering shots of tequila, egged on by a giggling Laura. The waitress had bought them over and instead of four there were eight. Some kind of House Special._

_He’d never seen Cas drink shots before and tried not to laugh as Dean tried to explain it to him, after watching the angel try and sip neat (and pretty cheap) tequila; his face scrunching up in a mixture of disgust and shock._

_“No Cas, you drink it all at once. Like this.”_

_“I don’t understand Dean, this liquor tastes foul. Why would I want to drink it?”_

_“Because you do. And if you drink it fast enough you won’t notice the taste.”_

_Cas followed Dean’s example and downed the small glass. He eyes went wide for a second. Sam thought he might choke._

_“There you see. You’re fine.”_

_“I don’t think I am Dean. My mouth is on fire.”_

_“Just drink some beer.”_

_Laura had downed two in quick succession. Dean raised his eyebrows and smirked._

_“See she’s got it.” He raised his glass, “I like a girl who can hold her liquor.”_

_“Well you see me drink when I drink whiskey.” Laura has answered, running her tongue over her lips and winking at him, “I’m much more fun!”_

_Dean ordered them whiskey as fast as possible._

_An hour or so later, it became clear that Laura could indeed hold her liquor. As well as Dean, if not better. But that didn’t mean that any of them were in a fit state to go anywhere._

_They staggered out of the bar, Laura leaning against Sam and Dean was propping up Cas. Laura had looked up at the towering figure gently supporting her weight._

_“Hey Sam,”_

_“Yeah?”_

_“Carry me?”_

_He’d laughed and gently scooped her up like a princess. She’d giggled again and smiled at him and when Dean wasn’t looking she’d whispered in his ear;_

_“Thanks, I’ll make it worth your while.” and trailed hot little kisses down his neck that left his skin tingling._

_Sam felt himself go hot and pink. It was at moment Dean had notice them._

_“Awww look at them! You guys look like some old married couple.” But as he’d opened his mouth to say more, he’d tripped over a loose paving stone. He was still supporting Cas and the two of them collapsed on top of each other in the middle of the sidewalk. An entangled heap of hunter and angel._

_“Cas, get off me! You’re crushing my stomach and I will throw up on you.”_

_“But Dean, my legs aren’t working. I can’t stand up.”_

_“You can and you will… Goddammit Sammy stop laughing and help me.”_

_By the time they reached the motel, Sam’s ribs ached from laughing so much. It had taken a full ten minutes for Dean and Cas to get standing again. The five-minute walk from the bar had taken them nearly half an hour. And he wasn’t sure how; his head was a little fuzzy. How much had he drank again?_

_He carried Laura across to her room and put her down at the door. She’d opened it and he’d followed her inside. The door click behind them._

_“Are you ok?” he’d asked, when to be fair she was probably a little better off than him._

_“Yeah I’m fine thanks, that was so fun! You didn’t have to carry me all the way here.”_

_“Well you asked me to carry you!”_

_She laughed and pulled the curtains shut, switching on a lamp by the bed. It suddenly occurred to Sam that he was probably overstaying his welcome._

_“Well… I should be going back to my room” he said, noticing that Laura had disappeared into the bathroom._

_“No wait, stay,” she called, “please Sam, stay …”_

_“Why?” it was a stupid question to ask Sam realised as soon as it left his mouth. In fact, he couldn’t remember afterwards if he’d even closed his mouth because she’d reappeared around the bathroom door._

_Her boots and jeans were gone, along with her shirt. All she was wearing was her underwear, which was black, and lacy and just a little see through. She padded across the carpet towards him. Sam felt himself getting very warm and his jeans were becoming increasingly uncomfortable. He knew he shouldn’t be staring but couldn’t seem to tear his eyes away. Instead his eyes roamed every inch of her body, drinking all of it in. He noticed a knotted scar above her left hip and on the right-hand side of her ribcage was a tattoo, that finished under her the band of her bra._

_She stopped less an inch from him and stood on her tiptoes. Her hands rested on his hips finding the gap between his shirt and jeans. Her fingers felt cool on his skin, the sudden touch sending a wave of lust and anticipation though his body as she pressed up against him. She looked up and whispered in his ear._

_“Because I want you to.”_

_And that was all he’d needed to hear._

 

* * *

 

 They stood by the Impala for a while, drinking the slightly warm beer out of the trunk. Sam slowly began relayed the diner conversation to Dean and everything Laura had said. He felt relief more than anything, like a weight being lifted off his shoulders. Sure, it didn’t change anything, but at least he had someone to share it with.

“And she’s absolutely sure it’s yours? I’m not having some random chick take you for a ride.” Dean’s anger was abating and he seemed more grumpy now.

“Yeah Dean, she’s sure. I mean she even offered to take a paternity test.”

“Really? She needs to take a test to find out who her kid’s father is?” Dean interjected. He was struggling to process the news still. Sam sighed.

“No, she meant if I didn’t believe her. I mean…” Sam paused, how much should he tell Dean? Had Laura wanted everything to stay confidential? Did he really want to discuss her sex life with his brother? Sam agonised for a minute before settling on the truth. “look she said that I’m the only guy she’s been with in a while, she’s been…busy… y’know with hunting and stuff.”

“And you believe her?”

“Yes, I do.”

Dean tilted his head slightly, smiled and then chuckled.

“I really didn’t think she’d be like that.”

“Like what?” asked Sam, a cold edge to his voice.

“Not for nothing Sammy but she’s hot. I didn’t think she wouldn’t be getting any. Maybe that’s why she went for you – kindred spirits and all.”

Sam shot him a frosty look, but he didn’t want to cause a fight.

“Very funny.”

“Well… what else do you want me to say?”

“I don’t know… I’m struggling here. I mean what the hell am I supposed to do?”

Dean turned and looked at him, his face was set but there was disbelief there and touch of anger too.

“What do you mean _what am I supposed to do?_ You damn well grow up and be a dad. Do you think that just because it was an accident you get to walk away? That is your kid and you have a chance to be a part of their life and raise them right. Not like us. Not hunters – just a normal kid you take to baseball games and dance recitals and all that crap that comes with parenthood. You don’t get a choice ok? You don’t get to just walk out and disappear. If you do, then I swear to God Sam --”

“—You don’t get it do you?” Sam retorted, “I’m not fit to be a father.” he paused, and a very real fear that hadn’t occurred to him before sidled into his mind, “Think of all the stuff I’ve done, like the gallons of demon blood! And have you forgotten who I am? Or what people say? I was an abomination, a monster, the vessel of Lucifer! I had no soul! I ended up in a mental hospital Dean! Remember? How can I condemn a child to have part of that inside them?” There were tears now, and he tried to bat them away; his fear and anger threatening to overwhelm him.

Dean paused and took a swig of beer. He reached out and put his hand on his brother’s shoulder, squeezing gently. They lapsed into silence again, staring into the distance. Sam was still confused, still angry and still scared but he had Dean and that was all that mattered. Eventually Dean spoke,

“Look. Don’t worry about it. I’m pretty sure it won’t affect this baby in any way. And if you’re really bothered we can ask around. Maybe Cas will know? Hey you get to explain this to Cas – do you think he knows where babies come from?” he chuckled and Sam smiled, “Besides, hopefully it will take after it’s mother because let’s face it Sam, if not, it’s not gonna be pretty!”

“Thanks man. You really know how to make me feel better!”

“You’re welcome bitch.”

“Jerk.”

 

* * *

 

 Eventually they got back in the car and continued down the road. The sun was setting and the darkness crept in on them. They chatted a little and Sam slept to the sounds of Metallica. Sometime in the early morning they pulled over in the dark because Dean wanted to sleep, so Sam drove on. The gentle hum of Baby’s engine was a comforting noise in the background.

He thought over his own childhood, his relationship with John and Dean. How badly he’d always wanted things to be different. And now he had a chance to do that. To be everything to his child that John hadn’t been. He knew Dean was right, this time there was no walking away.

Not that, he realised, he’d ever considered it.  

There was a little rest point and he pulled the car in but left the engine running. He pulled his phone out of his pocket, found Laura’s number and typed out a quick message. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes and pushed send. 

 

* * *

  

It had been raining all night, the sound continually drumming on the roof. It was pitch black outside but the streetlights provided little pools of golden light. The neighbourhood was silent, no one was awake and the houses were dark. Except for a tiny glow from one window towards the rear of a house at the end of the street.

The clock on the kitchen wall said 4.30am. Laura was stood at the counter trying to make cinnamon toast. But her fingers wouldn’t work and she’d already dropped two eggs on the floor and nearly burned her hand on the frying pan.

Tears flowed freely down her cheeks and she couldn’t seem to stop them. It wasn’t a new occurrence, but tonight they were more intense. Her stomach muscles and ribs ached, all she wanted was to curl up in a ball and cry forever.

On the side her phone flashed and she picked it up. There were three little words on the screen.

**I’m in  
\- Sam **

She gasped and through the tears, a smile began to spread.

 

* * *

 

 Sam’s phone rang while he making breakfast in the bunker kitchen a few days later. He was just trying to work out whether he got get away with drinking the milk that had been left in the fridge for a week, or if it was toxic, when he heard it buzzing. Laura’s name appeared on the screen and he answered.

“So, you do know what a more reasonable time for a phone call is!”

“Good morning to you to!”

“Is everything ok?”

“Yeah,” there was a pause, it seemed that Laura had something to say to him, “what are you doing next Sunday?”

“Next Sunday? Not much I don’t think, why?”

“Well… umm… my grandma wants to meet you?”

“Meet me?”

“Yeah. Your presence is requested for dinner. And when I say requested I mean-”

“Demanded?”

“Pretty much! I’m sorry.”

There was a noise in the background on the end of the line, he could hear another voice speaking to Laura. In fact, it was so loud he could hear their conversation clearly.

“Who’re you talking to?”

“Sam, Grandma,”

“Sam? Is that the Winchester boy who knocked you up?”

Sam could almost hear Laura cringing and he tried not to laugh.

“Yes Grandma, but..”

“Good, tell him to get his ass over here on Sunday.”

“I’ve just asked him but I don’t know where he is at the moment and I don’t -”

“I don’t give a damn where he is, tell him to get the car and get over here. We’ve got a couch and a spare room - he can stay. So, is he coming?”

“I don’t know, Sam…” Sam jumped as the conversation was redirected to him, he’d been watching Dean who had sauntered into the kitchen and picked up the suspicious milk carton.

“Sam, are you going to be able to make dinner on Sunday?” there was a steely edge to Laura’s voice which had the sound of a death threat. 

“Sure, sounds great.”

“Great. Yes Grandma, he’s coming.”

Sam watched as Dean sniffed the milk carton, shrugged and took a huge swig.

“Good. And tell him to bring that brother of his as well and that other one that’s always with them as well. I might as well meet all these meatheads at once.”

There was the sound of a door slamming on the other end of line. In the kitchen, Dean’s eyes went wide and he promptly spat the milk into the sink. Clearly it was not good. Sam clutched the counter and tried not to laugh audibly.

“So, would you like me to bring Dean and Cas too?”

“To be honest, I don’t think you have a choice. You’ve still got the address right? I know it’s a long way…I’m sorry you have to do this. But you’re welcome to stay the night.”

“Don’t worry, we meatheads will be there.”

They finalised the details as Dean watched him suspiciously. Sam put the phone back on the counter.

“So, how do you fancy a family dinner?”


	3. Take off your damn shoes!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There have been a few tweaks to this chapter from the original - not too much, just a little extension and mistake correction.

Dean stared at him. The taste of stale milk still lingering in his mouth. What he really needed right now was coffee, lots of very strong coffee.

“What do you mean family dinner?”

“Just that. Laura’s grandmother wants to meet us.”

Dean rolled his eyes watching as his brother began resorting to some form of puppy dog look.

“C’mon Dean, she’s the only family Laura has and she wants to get to know us, I mean you’re the one who told me to be a dad and get involved! Technically you’re gonna be an uncle. C’mon Dean, please?”

“Fine, but you owe me.”

“There’s just one other problem.”

“What?”

“She wants me to bring Cas too.”

They hadn’t currently explained to the angel about the unexpected development in Sam’s life. Dean’s argument was that Sam had to explain, answer any of Cas’s questions and he got to watch. Secretly he was hoping for a laugh, he definitely needed one at the moment. He still wasn’t used to the idea that suddenly there was going to be small Winchester running around. And all the extra trouble that would come with it.

Meanwhile Sam hadn’t quite worked out the words to tell him either. Apart from Dean he hadn’t told anyone. Not that there were many people to tell but still, that was beside the point. Telling Dean had been hard enough. And deep down he didn’t know whether he quite believed Dean when he’d said it was all going to be ok. He still wasn’t sure whether he was fit to be a father.

Still there was no time like the present. He took a deep breath.

“I guess I’ll do it now.”

Cas was reading when they found him, surrounded by a pile of books from the Men of Letter’s vast collection. He looked and watched them approach. Dean was eating toast and carrying a large mug of coffee and Sam looked pale, like he might throw up.

“Cas, I need to talk to you.” Sam began. The hunter very rarely exhibited nervous behaviour, it was virtually unheard of and yet, Cas realised, he was.

“Sam, is there something you want to tell me?”

“Yeah, there is. Sit down.”

“I am already sat down.”

Sam said nothing for a minute, he sat down and then stood up again, pacing up and down.

“Do you remember Laura? We met her last October in Minnesota when we were hunting vampires.”

“Yes.”

“Well… uhhh…” Sam ran his hand through his hair as he paced, “She’s going to have a baby.”

“I see. Is there a particular reason you are telling me this?”

“Yes..uh, yes, there is. Because it’s my baby… she’s going to have my baby.”

“I see.” Cas looked intently at Sam, contemplating this news, “I assume this is because you two had an abundance of sexual relations that night we all drank together? I believe Dean used the phrase ‘banged her like a bongo drum’.”

“I did not.” Added Dean quickly, although Sam swore there was a hint of a smirk on his face as he shot his elder brother an exasperated look.

“Really? I’m sure that’s what you said, when Sam appeared with Laura as you were packing the car after not returning to the motel room.”

“Yeah well your memory is too good.”

“That’s not surprising. Angels usually have better memories than humans given that we are required to remember much more.”

Sam stared as the pair of them bickered gently, or at least Dean attempted to retort Cas’s straight remarks. So far, so good? At least Cas had asked no awkward questions so far, which was a relief – he wasn’t completed sure how good the angel’s grasp of human biology was or how far it went…

“This does complicated matters though.”

“How?”

“Well, the child of Sam Winchester is something that many people will be interested in and then there is the child itself.”

Sam hadn’t really been listening, but he did now. His head snapped round and he stared at Cas, who was looking at Sam intently with his head tilted.

“We do not know whether this child will inherit any it’s father’s...” Cas paused, as if trying to find a tactful word, “…troubles.”

Sam sighed and ran his ringers through his hair again, but before he could say anything Dean interjected.

“Yeah but that’s not possibly right Cas? It’s not like it’s the child of a demon or angel and c’mon it’s not like it’s gonna be a monster!”

“There a possibility, however small, that the child will be special. But that wasn’t my concern,”

“Oh joy, you’re full of sunshine.”

Cas ignored Dean’s sarcasm and continued, “It is _Sam’s_ child and a _Winchester_ – there will be plenty of people out there who will wish harm on the child or possibly seek to use it leverage against you. Have you considered that should Lucifer ever return that he may eventually seek to use the child as a vessel? It is not unheard of for demons to possess children and it will have Sam’s blood.” The angel’s tone was calm and cool but there was a distinctive note of concern there.

They all remembered Lillith.

“I assume that Laura will be keeping this child?”

Sam and Dean raised an eyebrow at the angel, who was very calm and rational. Although he did seem to have already jumped to the worst possible scenarios available – addressing all of Sam’s nightmares at once.

“What are you suggesting?” Sam asked gently.

“Well assuming this child is born then I believe you have two options. The first is that you completely remove yourself from all contact with them and hope that nobody ever finds out about them, or they will certainly end up dead.”

“And the second?” asked Sam, wearily.

“You protect them.”

“No shit Sherlock.”

 

* * *

 

Laura was stood in the kitchen, peeling what seemed like a small mountain of potatoes. She felt sick again, and not just because of the pregnancy. There was a gnawing worry in the pit of stomach that she couldn’t shake. She desperately wanted this dinner to go well. In the background her grandmother was pottering around the house, muttering darkly.

Please, please, please let today go well. 

There was a knock on the door and despite calls of “I’ll get it” it was Laura’s grandmother who got to the front door first and pulled it open.

On the front porch stood the two Winchester brothers and Castiel, all dressed in dark suits with the angel’s addition of his customary trenchcoat.  

“Good lord, it’s like the arrival of the FBI.” She paused, studying them. She was a short, stocky lady with a set expression that seemed particularly unimpressed with the men stood in front of her. “So, you must be the Winchester boys?” she continued, dryly.

“Yes ma’am. I’m Sam and this is my brother Dean and this is Castiel.”

“Castiel huh? Who are you exactly?”

“I’m an angel.” said Cas, who was wondering why they were now being examined like criminals.    

The woman nodded and looked the three of them up and down again.

“Well I suppose you better come in then.” As they stepped through the door, Dean’s shoe caught the edge of the large mat on the inside of the porch, it shifted slightly and underneath he could see the edge of a devil’s trap painted on the floor underneath. Laura’s grandmother caught him staring.

“I may be old, but I ain’t stupid. And take off your damn shoes, I don’t want you tramping mud all through my house.”

 

* * *

 

 It wasn’t as painful an experience as any of them had imagined it was going to be. True, it was awkward to begin with and that awkwardness took its time to dissipate.

It was the first-time Laura had seen Dean or Cas since Minnesota and she seemed embarrassed. Their last memories of her were probably her being carried to a hotel room by Sam and reappearing with him the next morning. The grey sweater she was wearing didn’t help matters either because it was now clear that there was a bump there.

The four of them sat awkwardly on the sofas in the living room while Laura’s grandmother, whose name was Caroline, disappeared into the kitchen.

“So,” asked Sam, trying to break the silence, “how’ve you been?”

“Good… you?”

“Good.”

There was more silence. Dean said nothing but sat on the sofa next to Cas, his eyes roaming round the small house.

“Can I get you guys a beer?”

“Beer would be good, thanks. Do you need a hand?”

Laura laughed, “I’m pregnant not invalid. I can fetch beer.” There was a pointed cough from the kitchen, “and don’t worry I’ll just have a soda.”

Beer, it turned out, made everything a little easier as did the mountain of food which covered the dining room table and the environment began to relax slightly. It was also made easier by everyone’s avoidance of the elephant in the room and the reason they were all there to begin with.

It didn’t take long for the conversation to turn to hunting and in fact it Laura deliberately tried to steer it in that direction. It soon ended up with Caroline and Dean dominating the conversation which covered everything from favourite weaponry to dealing with werewolves to cars and Dean’s baby; Caroline arguing that it was a viable choice because of the number of bodies you could fit in the trunk but that it drew attention to itself, although she relented it was a lot better than “those stupid-ass sports cars that you see some hunters driving”. Given that Caroline had hunted for nearly forty years, she had her fair share of tales to tell. She was a gruff, opinionated and direct woman who was very happy to give her opinion and seemed to enjoy disagreeing with Dean when she thought he was wrong.

Laura sat and observed quietly, the knot in her stomach unravelling slightly. Sam was sat next to her and she reached out under the table and squeezed his hand when he rested it on his leg for a second, in what she hoped was a thankful gesture. Sam turned slightly and gave her a small smile and the knot loosened a little further.

 

* * *

 

  _October 30 th. _ _Laurel Grove Inn, Minnesota._

_The time on Sam’s phone read 3.06am. At least it would have done if he could read it, but it was tucked in the pocket of his jeans and his clothes were spread out in a trail between the door of the motel room and the bed, laying wherever they’d been hurriedly discarded._

_“Ok, ok your turn.”_

_“Really?”_

_“Yes, it’s your turn. Ask me anything.”_

_The two of them lay next to each other in the middle of the bed. Sam was leaning one side, slightly propped up on pillows and resting on one arm. His other hand was trailing his fingers lightly up and down Laura’s back, running his fingers over her soft skin and feeling rows of little scars. The marks of lifetime of hunting. She was resting on her elbows, her long dark hair pulled to one side and pooling on the pillows. The sheets were wrapped across their midriffs, more for warmth than anything else._

_Laura watched Sam intently as he considered his question for a moment._

_“How did you get that scar on your hip?” He wasn’t necessarily one for personal questions, but the copious amounts of alcohol were still working its way out of his system, blurring his internal thought process slightly._

_“This one?” She rolled onto her side momentarily, exposing the scar and gesturing to it. Sam nodded._

_It wasn’t pretty. It was an ugly knot of tissue and skin with swirls of pink and white running through it. It almost had the appearance of a whirl but with added craters and raised patches. It was a least 3 or 4 inches wide and there was extra scarring running off it. Some of it at least looked surgical but it wasn’t something he’d ever seen before and it interested him. He assumed it was from hunting but at the same time, it wasn’t like any of the scars that he or Dean had._

_Laura paused for a second. It was if she was considering her answer. She looked a Sam and wry smile crossed her lips, she shifted slightly moving right up next to him and tracing the tattoo on his chest with her finger._

_“Hunting accident when I was younger. Made a mistake and got impaled with a foot of iron railing.”_

_Sam winced, Laura raised her eyebrows and nodded._

_“Ouch!”_

_“Yeah, it hurt like a bitch. But I was lucky, it went straight through and missed anything important. Still, never made a mistake like it again.”_

_Sam considered this for a second while Laura watched him, gently caressing the ridges of muscles across his chest, rolling her fingers across his nipples before sliding them slowly down his stomach. He bit his lip, his eyes closing as he tried to process his thoughts but it was becoming more difficult as warmth spread across his skin. What sort of mistake caused something like that to happen, and how the fuck did you ‘accidently’ get stabbed with iron railing?_

_“But how- ” Sam’s question was cut off as Laura leaned across him to press a heated kiss to his lips. He could feel her the soft weight of her body on top of his, her leg laying between his as her tongue pressed into his lips, demanding entry to his mouth, her hand dipping below the sheets to stroke him. A soft moan escaped his lips as Laura began trailing hot, wet kisses along his jaw, sucking gently at the pulse point on his neck. Sam pushed up and rolled her softly onto her back, her head nestled in the middle of the pillows. He rested on his hands, his arms either side of her, feeling the warmth radiating from underneath him as he looked down on her._

_“You wouldn’t be trying to change the subject, would you?”_

_“Maybe,” Laura smirked at him, raising her eyebrows suggestively. “Besides, aren’t you bored of conversation?”_

_Sam leant down and kissed the ugly scar, it was obviously something she didn’t want to talk about and he didn’t have the right to push it. Even so, it was as if he was trying to remove the painful memory. To replace it with something better, something she would enjoy remembering. He began trailing slow kisses down her hip bone, pulling the sheet down and listening to the little gasps and moans as his tongue slid across her skin. After that there was no more need for conversation._

 

* * *

 

 After the last of the apple pie had been eaten, Laura fell asleep on the sofa. She sat down and went out like a light. Caroline chuckled and pulled a blanket across her. She looked pointedly at the Winchesters with a deathly stare that implied that waking her would not be good idea.

“Winchester junior, I’d like a word.” Caroline added, and beckoned Sam to follow her. Dean jumped slightly and went to stand up from his seat on one of the sofas, “Oh no, just your brother. You and this other chucklehead can stay here a moment. Maybe you’ll be gentlemen and make a start on the dishes.” There was a slightly threatening air to that last statement, it was not a suggestion but an order.

Sam followed her through to the back door and out into the garden, towards a shed at the bottom of it. Darkness had descended and the inky blackness gave the old, run down building a slightly menacing air. Caroline unlocked the door, pulled it open and waved Sam inside.

“Get inside, I don’t have all damn night.”

It was dark in here too and there was a bit of musty, metallic smell. When the light was flicked on, Sam could see books lining the walls and a stash of weaponry covering the sides and spilling across the shelves alongside cartridges and boxes of salt. There was not just an assortment of guns but knives, axes, lengths of iron piping and what looked like a scimitar. An ordinary person would probably be frightened but it didn’t bother Sam; it was just another hunter’s stash. A little glance inside the world of this family.  

“We’ll talk in here. That girl’s got ears like a bat and she’d be listening as soon as I open my mouth. Asleep or not, I don’t trust her not to be nosey.”

Caroline gestured to two soft, slightly mouldy looking armchairs that were sat off to one side.

“Take a seat. You drink whiskey?”

But she didn’t wait for a reply, instead Sam heard a clinking of glass as she produced a bottle from one of the cupboards and two glasses, filling them with dark amber liquid and pressing one into his hands. She took a seat on the edge of the armchair opposite him.

“I wouldn’t usually hide it out here but Laura’s not supposed to be drinking and she has a powerful love of the stuff, like her father did. So, I figured it was kinder to hide it away rather than drink it in front of her.” She sipped at the liquid and continued to look Sam up and down. He took a sip of whiskey. It was strong but warming and steadied his nerves a little. 

“First off, I’m gonna say one thing. I know that you didn’t intend on this happening, I don’t think you imagined being a dad – at least not in this way.”

“Not really.”

“But I know accidents happen and by Laura’s reaction, I know she wasn’t intending on this situation either. And the fact that you’re sittin here says something about you and I will say that appreciate you being here, especially when you didn’t have to be…” she paused a second, swilling the dark liquid round her glass and taking a sip. Caroline looked up at Sam with a piercing look and continued, “and now, I’m gonna ask you some questions as you’re gonna answer them for me. And don’t bother lying to me, I can always tell. You understand?”

Sam nodded, slightly concerned about the level of interrogation that he was going to be subjected to. It was like one of those awkward first meet-the-parents’ situations where they wanted to know about your intentions towards their daughter, except in this example most parents’ nightmares had already happened. And how many relatives really wanted the former vessel of Lucifer as the father of their grandchild?

However, the questions started small, basic even, but each was asked with a directness that couldn’t be avoided, so Sam answered them as honestly as he could. They were just things like his name, his background, questions about his hunting method, about things that had happened to him and Dean. It was as if she was feeling him out or confirming things she already knew from second hand sources or what Dean had said at dinner.

“So, why are you here?” the question caught him off guard a second with its change in nature.

“Excuse me?”

“Why are you here? I speculated why you might be and I know I want to know your reason.” She repeated the question slowly, but without patronisation. Sam turned the question over in his head a second.

“Because Laura asked me to be.”

“No shit.” Caroline muttered but didn’t say anything else. It obviously wasn’t the answer she wanted. Caroline swirled the whiskey around again and gave Sam another deep, penetrating look. 

 “Did she tell you how she got that god-awful scar on her hip?”

“Yes.”

“What did she tell you?” Caroline looked at Sam suspiciously.

“That it was a hunting accident, when she was younger.” Sam said slowly, trying to remember everything Laura had said when he’d asked. “That she made a mistake and got impaled with an iron railing. That was about it though, after that she changed the subject.”   

Caroline raised her eyebrows, she seemed almost impressed.

“How much whiskey did you give her?” She sighed, “You must have impressed her cos that’s about as damn near the truth as you’ll get out of her. Usually she just says bar fight or attacked by a bear or something else stupid. But there’s one thing I’m gonna add to it, and you’re not gonna tell Laura that I told you. Understand?”

Sam nodded. Caroline nodded and sighed.

“She got that damn scar when she was out hunting with her father. They were in some factory and he forced her to walk over some metal walkway, I’m guessing to see whether it would take his weight. Anyway, it collapsed and she fell about ten or fifteen feet, got impaled with that railing and broke two vertebrae in her spine. And he left her there while he finished the job, only took her to the hospital when she couldn’t get up, told her ‘not to get blood on the seats’.” Caroline paused again and took another swig of whiskey, shaking her head. “She was twelve years old. Just a little girl. And he was using her as bait.”

Sam winced and stared, he couldn’t help it. This man sounded even more heartless than his own father, if that was possible. At least John Winchester had attempted to occasionally feel something for his own sons and even though Sam knew most of his anger and frustration had been directed at Dean he didn’t think he’d ever been this heartless.

“Look, I met your daddy once or twice and I can make an educated guess about your childhood since you were raised in the life, not that I give a damn, but I’m telling you now her daddy was one of the meanest sons-of-bitches ever to walk this earth and I should know, I raised him.”

She poured more whiskey into the glass and looked at Sam, who wasn’t saying anything.

“I knew when he died that he was going straight downstairs and from what I’ve heard, I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. That scar is the reason that Laura came here and the reason I gave up hunting and the reason I wanted, more than anything, for her to live a normal life! To get out!

“Do you know why I’m telling you this?”

Sam thought for a moment. It was unusual to meet someone who shared so many elements of his painful childhood. True, Sam had never been impaled with an iron railing or used as bait, but it made him realise why Laura had said that hunters made crappy parents. And why she seemed so scared about having a child. Her grandmother had been a hunter and so had her father and while neither would be up for parent of the year, her father sounded like one of the worst he’d ever heard of. Did Laura think she was destined to relive the same cycle to abuse with her own child?

“I’m telling you this because whatever you feel about your fitness to be a parent and your… experiences and from what Bobby Singer told me-

“- you knew Bobby?”

“Every damn hunter in the country knew Bobby. I’ve knew him for about thirty years. Anyway, I know a fair bit about the legendary Winchester boys and what you’ve been through and I’m tellin’ you now… whatever you think about yourself, you will be a far better parent than me or my son.”

She paused and looked at Sam. For the first time, the harshness in her eyes seemed to have softened and he realised how difficult this must be for her. She reached out and patted his leg in an attempt to be comforting.

“So, you stop worrying. Whatever you believe about your past, it’s your past.”

“…thank you.”

She shook her head and drained her glass, emotional moment over.

“Well, if you’re done, we can go back in now. Unless you’d like another drink while your brother and the angel finish the dishes?” 

“Sounds good to me.” Answered Sam, holding out the empty glass.


	4. Heartbeats and Pictures

The dishes on the side were all stacked neatly, the glasses flashing under the lights of the kitchen as Dean emptied the last of the dirty water out of the sink. How he and Cas had manged to get stuck with all the washing up was a mystery to him, especially seeing as how it wasn’t even his own damn house!

Cas was perched on a chair at the small kitchen table, drying one of the large saucepans by hand and sipping occasionally at a glass of orange juice that was next to him.

There was a soft noise behind them, the sound of floorboards creaking, but it was still loud enough to make both of them turn their heads and watch Laura appear at the kitchen door. She still looked half asleep, her dark hair sticking out with static and her face crinkling up as she stretched both her arms above her head. It took her a second or two to adjust to the picture in front of her as her brain slowly began to speed up again, nothing the sparkling pile of dishes by the sink. 

“Oh, thank you, you didn’t have to.”

“Don’t mention it.” Answered Dean, gruffly but with a small smile. There was no way he was mentioning it wasn’t voluntary.

“Where’s Sam?” Laura added, softly and yawning slightly. It was the first time she’d slept properly in a while and her body was still fighting for more.

“Your grandmother took him outside.” Said Cas, tilting his head on one side and noting how Laura’s body suddenly stiffened.

“Yeah, said something about wanting a word with him.” Added Dean, drying his hands.

“Shit… shit, shit!” Laura turned on her heels, sliding slightly in her socks. Dean reached out and put his hand on the small of her back, returning her to an upright position as she slid across the kitchen floor and out of sight, presumably towards the back door. Dean chuckled and fished in the fridge for another beer. No way he was interfering in this, he had no wish to be involved in another family talk that had nothing to do with him.

Just as Laura reached the back door, it swung open and Caroline and Sam stepped inside talking lightly and laughing and almost colliding with the stationary figure in front of them. Laura’s face was an odd mixture of rage, surprise and sleep coupled with a glare that demanded some sort of explanation.

“Grandma, what have you been doing to him?”

“What do you think I’ve been doing? Making him into some kind of blood offering?” the sarcasm was immense, Sam tried not to laugh as he watched. “I was just getting to know the father of my grandchild.”

“In the _shed_? Of all places? We have a perfectly acceptable lounge right here! What were you talking about?” she paused a second and sniffed, “Wait a second… do I smell whiskey?”

“I don’t know baby, can you? I’m sure it’s just your imagination.”

“Yes, I can,” Laura rounded on her grandmother, “you’ve been drinking my whiskey. That was my best scotch, I was saving that!”

“Well, I was just saving you the trouble of temptation. It’s not good for you anyway.” Caroline patted her stupefied granddaughter on the shoulder and made her way towards the kitchen, she looked in and noted the clean dishes, nodding. “Nice to see you chuckleheads acting like gentlemen and saving me some trouble.” She turned back to Laura and Sam, who was stood by the back door and trying to suppress a smile. “Now I’m gonna go to be bed, I’ve got work in the morning. I made the spare bedroom up so those two can sleep in there,” she gestured towards the kitchen “and Winchester junior can bunk in with you. Not like he can do any more damage here, don’t think he can knock you up twice.” She shuffled off towards the stairs, “And just remember the walls in this house are like paper so don’t be gettin any ideas!”

Laura covered her face with her hand, thinking she would just about die of embarrassment. It was like being a teenager all over again, except no teenage boy had ever been invited to stay. She turned to Sam,

“I am so, so sorry about that.”

“It’s ok, I get that she’s protective of you.”

“Yeah…protective is one word you could use.”

“It’s ok, I’ll just take the couch. I really don’t mind.”

“No, you can share with me, it’s fine – honestly. I’m just really sorry about what she said… she doesn’t have a filter.” Laura paused and looked Sam up and down, “Besides, I really think that you’re gonna be too big for either of our couches!”

She and Sam made their way into the kitchen, Dean and Cas were both sat there trying (and failing) to look innocent and like they hadn’t heard every damn word of that conversation. Dean saw them and cracked a smirk. Sam smacked him round the back of the head.

 

* * *

 

Sometime later, they were all settled in various rooms. Dean and Cas had agreed to take the spare room, which was small but comfortable looking, with two twin beds in the middle.

They’d protested slightly at first, Cas continually saying that he didn’t need a bed because he didn’t sleep and Dean said he’d be happy on the couch or in a motel. Laura brushed them off, arguing that if Caroline heard a noise downstairs in the night when nobody was supposed to be there someone was going to get shot.

Laura pointed out her room to Sam and went into the bathroom. Sam placed his bag on the bed and looked around the room. It was an odd mixture of things. There were piles of notes and medical textbooks alongside comics and Harry Potter novels and a stack of books on lore. The top of the chest of drawers and a couple of shelves above it were covered in photos and trinkets. There was a stack of clothes piled up on a chair in the corned and a couple of stuffed animals, dotted across the room. He smiled to himself, feeling a hint of nostalgia. He wondered, if they’d had a home growing up whether his room would have looked similar by now. Albeit without the cuddly unicorn.

He stared at a couple of the photos on the dresser. They were mostly photos of Laura and Caroline (who was actually smiling in a couple) and Laura with friends. Sam noted that she had definitely gone through some form of teenage goth faze. But the one next to him caught his eye. It was an older photo of a little girl with long dark hair with a red ribbon in, sat between a pretty woman with waving red hair and smiling eyes and handsome man, with a serious, set face. It was the only one of its kind on the shelf, in a green frame with glitter and stickers and shells all over it. The kind a child would make at school. He picked it up to look at it closer. The little girl looked so happy. He wondered if they’d had any family photos whether his family would have looked the same.

There was the sound of the bedroom door opening and it made him jump, nearly dropping the picture in shock as his reflexes kicked in. He turned to see Laura and quickly put the photo down.

“Sorry,” he started a sentence, but she just smiled.

“Why? I’d be nosey if this was your house.” She walked round the side of the bed and flicked the bedside lamp on, then began pulling the curtains closed. “That was taken when I was four I think, in the back garden here.” She smiled again, but it looked empty to Sam. A fake smile.

There was silence for a second. Sam searched for a change in subject, it was clear the past was a slightly painful topic. Still, he didn’t really feel like explaining about his parents either. And he didn’t want Laura to get any hint that he knew anything about her family, especially what Caroline had told him.

“So, teenage goth faze? Really?”

“Yep, and it was awesome. It was nice to be… normal.”

“Normal?” Sam raised one eyebrow and shook his head. Since when did hunters do normal?

“Well, for a hunter anyway! Besides,” replied Laura, who had started wriggling out of her jumper and jeans, “I liked the whole black clothes and intense eyeliner look. It looked good on me. Still does.”

Sam laughed and turned to say something else, until he realised she was standing in her underwear and rooting around under her pillow for a pair of pyjamas. He tried not to notice or say anything related to the fact she was half naked but instead he said;

“Are those… unicorns?”  

He was trying not to stare, he really was. But he was pretty sure the last time he’d seen her in this state of undress her pants had not had pink unicorns on them, in fact he didn’t think he’d ever seen anything like it before.

“Oh, yes. Yes they are. Did you think that I wore sexy black underwear all the time?” Laura looked at him and laughed, unclipping her bra and pulling on a vest top in its place. The vest top had the Captain America shield plastered across the chest. “Your lack of answer suggests you did.”

“To be honest, I hadn’t really thought about it. But I’m guessing now that you don’t.” Sam realised, he was still staring and began to open his bag. He hadn’t really thought about bringing anything to wear in bed, it hadn’t even crossed his mind. Sam guessed it was going to be a t-shirt and boxers kind of night and began undoing the tie that was still knotted neatly around his neck.

“Nah. Only when I want to get lucky.” Sam looked at her, eyebrow raised. Laura winked and pulled on a pair of shorts, watching as he unbuttoned his shirt. “There are a lot of things you don’t know about me Sam Winchester.”

“Like the fact you are supposedly a serious medical professional with a love of unicorns and Captain America?” He paused, “What else?”

“Oh no, no, no!” She winked at him and smirked, pulling back the duvet and hopping onto the bed, stretching out but still watching him intently, “That’s not how this works Mr Winchester. A girl doesn’t give up her secrets so easily. You know the rules, it’s one for one. One thing about me followed by one thing about you. And given that you’re in my room and I’m pretty sure you have figured a bunch of stuff out about me. Plus, you’ve just been happily watching me get naked so you’re definitely the one who has to tell me something.” Sam felt his face flush like he was some sort of awkward teenager and he rooted around in his brain for something he felt he could share.

“Ummmm… I like dogs?”

“Well, it’s a start.” She looked at him seriously for a moment, “It’s ok, you don’t have to tell me anything you know. I know every hunter has secrets and so does every family so I’m gonna hazard a guess that you’ve got a fair few. Who knows, maybe one day we’ll have a big secret swapping slumber party!”

Sam pulled off the rest of his clothes and climbed into the bed next to her, it wasn’t very big but it was comfortable. It had been a while since he’d spent the night in the same bed as another person without anything else being involved.

“And this isn’t?”

“No… this is a getting to know the other parent of my accidental child party and her slightly crazy grandma.” She sighed and there was silence for a couple of minutes. Sam stared at the ceiling, there were a couple of old glow in the dark stars still stuck there.

“Hey Sam?”

“Yeah…”

“Thanks.”

Laura flicked the lamp off and rolled away, curling up slightly and was soon asleep. Sam stayed awake for ages, running the past couple of weeks over in his head, listening to Laura snuffle gently. He must have dropped off at some point though because he woke up in the middle of the night when Laura got up for the bathroom and realised, in his stupefied state, that he’d been curled up asleep with his arm around her, his hand laying protectively across her stomach.

 

* * *

 

The maternity wing of the local hospital was busy for a Monday afternoon. The waiting room seemed packed with expectant mothers, each with various sizes of bump all accompanied with a variety of mothers, best friends and the occasional husband or boyfriend.

There was buzz of voices and the distant crying of babies, although all of them were pleased that the pre-natal scans seemed to take place a long way from delivery rooms. There were various pictures on the walls depicting notices and information about pregnancy alongside advertisements for birthing classes, breastfeeding seminars and gynaecological information.

Sam, Dean and Cas, along with Laura, had managed to find a quieter corner to tuck themselves away in but both the Winchester’s felt incredibly uncomfortable with the situation. Dean still wasn’t quite sure how he and Cas had been dragged into this appointment and was regretting his decision not to stay in the car more and more with every passing second. Cas was sat next to him, on the end of their little row of cold, plastic seats, intently starting at a large poster on the wall next to them. It was entitled _The Stages of Pregnancy and Common Problems_ , and was complete with details drawings of the reproductive system and developing fetuses.

“Dean, what does- ”

“Cas if you are going to ask me questions about that poster I swear to God.”

The angel went silent for a moment, looking contemplative.

“But I don’t understand what it means when it says va- ”

“Look,” Dean snapped under his breath, cutting the angel off before he could finish his question. “I don’t know what the state of heaven’s sex education is like but I am not explaining that poster to you.”

“Heaven doesn’t have sex education. Angels don’t reproduce in the same way humans do; we are created, not born. I have some knowledge of human reproduction but it is a little rusty.”

“Good to know. But I’m still not answering your damn questions.”

Laura leaned across Dean and smiled at Cas,

“Don’t worry Cas, I’ll talk you through it later and I’ve got all my medical textbooks you can borrow if you want.”

“I would appreciate that, thank you.”

The silence resumed between them as they continued to wait, until a nurse with a clipboard called “Laura Holland.” and they found themselves being ushered down a corridor and into a small room before the nurse left them.

 

* * *

 

“Right,” said the technician, as she entered the room a few minutes later. She was petite and blonde and very happy looking. “Who’s who?”

Nobody spoke, instead they all stared at her bright pink scrubs.

“This is Sam, the father, his brother Dean and that’s Cas, he’s a friend of the family.” Laura’s voice trailed off slightly at the end, as if she wasn’t sure what was the best way to describe the angel.

“Well, if I can just have mummy and daddy in here.” The technician said, her voice laced with sickening sweetness “and if you, and your… friend” she gestured at Dean and Cas, “could just wait outside for a few minutes, we won’t be long.”

Sam hadn’t seen Dean move so fast since they’d last been chased by hellhounds. He was out of the room like a shot, dragging Castiel along with him and practically slamming the door shut with the parting words of, “We’ll see you at the car.” He tried not to laugh, figuring this wasn’t really the time but then a coughing behind him made him realise Laura was trying to do the same and it wasn’t working.

The woman said nothing and instead indicated that Laura should sit down, so she did as she was told, pulling her legs up onto the couch and rolling her jumper up over her midriff. Sam was given a stool next to her, which was hard and uncomfortable. The technician checked some basic details and took some information before the scan. As she switched on the ultrasound she asked casually,

“So, as you’re about 18 weeks along, did you want to find out the sex today? We should be able to tell!”

Sam and Laura looked at each other, stunned for a second. This wasn’t something either of them had ever vaguely considered. Neither of them said anything.

“Is this your first baby?” she said, Laura nodded. “Well don’t worry, a lot of parents don’t know but you can decide in a minute.” She turned to Sam and smiled, “You must be so excited to be a dad, we don’t get a lot of fathers in here so the ones who are, are always so excited!”

Sam said nothing but smiled nervously, trying to look sincere. Honestly, he didn’t know whether he was excited, it still felt more like something he just had to deal with although he had to admit he was slowly starting to get his head round the idea. Very slowly.

“I think so,” he answered, attempting to inject some fake cheerfulness and excitement into his voice, “it’s just such surprising news.”

“Was it a surprise then? Isn’t that lovely!” The woman smiled again, her voice was annoyingly cheerful, as she squirted colourless jelly onto Laura’s skin. Laura flinched, it clearly wasn’t very warm.

“You could say that.” Sam heard Laura mutter and he grinned.

“Well let’s take a look and see what we’ve got!”

She placed the scanner onto Laura’s bump, spreading the jelly out with the scanner in her hand before switching on the monitor beside her. Sam watched intently as the screen filled with garbled grey and black pictures. He’d never seen an ultrasound before and couldn’t really make much of it at first. The technician moved the angle of the scanner and slid it gently across the gentle swell of Laura’s midriff, obviously trying to get a clearer image.

A picture began to emerge, slowly at first and then suddenly all at once Sam could see it. A little white and grey head with a clear tiny bump of a nose and a mouth and a round belly, quite clear from the black surrounding it. There was a tiny little scoop of black on the side of its head where the ears were developing. It looked like a tiny bean, curled up and yet it was unmistakable. It was a baby. His baby.

It felt like all the wind had been knocked out of him. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t speak, couldn’t do anything except stare at the tiny grey picture in front of him. He could hear the technician speaking and Laura answering but had no idea what they were saying, his whole being was transfixed. And then he heard it.

It sounded like a steam train. It was a strong, rapid, thudding noise than seemed to echo in his ears. The technician spoke again but this time he caught her words.

“and that’s your baby’s heartbeat.”

A wave of warmth swept over Sam, engulfing him and swallowing him whole. He could feel his eyes prickling and his hand shaking. He could feel Laura squeezing it and he squeezed back. He was overcome with emotions he hadn’t felt in so long; love, joy, happiness and terror. Because he knew that above all he had to protect this child and in that instant, he knew he would lay down his life, he would give everything he had and more for that tiny, grey picture.

They were speaking again and it didn’t register with him for a moment until he realised they were speaking to him.

“Sam? Are you ok?” He looked at Laura and saw the concern in her eyes but understanding too.

“Yeah…yeah!” Sam smiled, brushing the tears away and running his hands through his hair, laughing slightly. “I just… wow…”

“I know, that’s our baby.” She squeezed his hand again.

“I’m so sorry,” said the technician, breaking the moment, “but your little one is lying at a bit of a difficult angle so I can’t tell what we have. But I can give you a picture to take with you!”

“Two please. Can we have two?”

“Of course! I’ll get those sorted and then I think we’re about done unless you have any questions? Everything looks good to me.”

They shook their heads and she printed out two photos and handed them one each, Sam studied it again and smiled before placing it carefully in his wallet.

They dropped Laura back home before heading off. Sam watched the house disappear out of sight and as they pulled onto the main road Dean threw a newspaper at him and started telling him to read page 6 because it sounded like a case. Sam could tell Dean was itching to get back out on the road. Back on the job.

He opened the paper and began to read.

 

* * *

 

It was six weeks before Laura saw them again. She and Sam did keep a fairly regular stream of contact going through texts and the occasional call. The boredom of being cooped up in the house was driving her mad, especially after a year of non-stop hunting and years before that of endless hospital shifts and all-nighters.

In the back of her mind she began to make plans and the realisation that she missed being a doctor surprised her. She told Sam this and his simple suggestion was,

“Well can’t you go back to practicing? I mean, even just temporarily?”

There was a small free clinic looking for locums and within a week she was back doing the odd shift, brushing off her skills and spending her nights re-reading all her notes and textbooks to get herself back up to scratch. The clinic staff were lovely and glad to have her and it gave her purpose again. More than she’d had in a long time.

Maybe there were more ways to save people than just hunting.  

It was very late one night when Laura awoke to stabbing pains in her abdomen. She tried to ignore them and hoped they’d go away. She’d been on a late shift at the clinic and was exhausted. She rolled over and felt another twinge. In the back of her mind she knew something wasn’t right, coupled with an unwanted sticky feeling between her legs.

She flicked the bedside lamp on reached her hand down gently and when she looked at her fingers there was blood on them.


	5. Kale is not food Sam!

The sun was just rising above the horizon as Dean, Sam and Cas dragged themselves, battered and bloody, back to the Impala. They weren’t too worse for wear, just the standard cuts here and there along with a couple of bruises that were starting to show already. Dean was sporting what would probably be a tremendous black eye in a few hours, having headbutted a railing by accident, while Sam nursed a bloody nose. Cas seemed to be none the worse, having escaped lightly with a couple of scratches across his hand.

The job seemed to have been a simple one; a couple of bloody deaths in an old building that was being targeted by developers for new, luxury apartments. It hadn’t taken them long to find the cause either, just another vengeful spirit… who turned out to have a mean left hook and strong uppercut coupled with a very strong bloodlust.

Still it was over now. Time to recharge and then on to the next job.

Sam slid into the passenger side and sunk into the seat. The back of his head ached where the ghost had tried to hit him with a length of piping and he was pretty sure he’d pulled something in his back. All he wanted now was a shower, food and bed, preferably in that order.

Cas may have cleaned them up, carefully and quickly ensuring that nights work didn’t show, although Dean had mildly protested losing the possibility of a black eye – which he said made him look vaguely roguish and interesting -  but Sam was pretty sure his body still remembered what it had been through. His face wasn’t covered in crusted blood but there still seemed to be a deep-seated ache in his bones that was refusing to budge.

He sighed as he pulled his phone out of his pocket, checking in case there were any texts from Laura and was surprised to find a number of missed calls – firstly from her and a number he didn’t recognise. That was odd, especially as they’d all been received throughout the night. His surprise must have registered on his face because he heard Dean next to him say,

“Sam? You ok?”

But he didn’t have a chance to answer because his phone lit up again with the call from the number he didn’t recognise.

“Hello?” he answered, slightly suspicious of who might be on the other end.

“Is that Mr Smith?” said a female voice on the other end, using the fake name he’d given Laura to use in emergencies.  

“Errr, yes. Can I help you?”

“This is Tina at St Mary’s Hospital, we have Laura Holland here-”

“-Laura’s with you? What happened?” Sam asked, a note of panic rising in his voice. He knew that was the name of Laura’s local hospital but not where she was working and she wasn’t due a hospital appointment at all.

“Laura is stable at the moment, she was brought in early this morning and she’s asked us to contact you as you are the father of her child. Are you able to come in to the hospital?” her voice was calm and steady, the voice he knew all hospital staff use when something is wrong. He checked his watch. They were at least ten hours away, maybe more. He explained this to Tina, who just asked him to come in as soon as possible, that she would let Laura know and that she would make a note so that the staff on duty would admit them outside of visiting hours.

Sam hung up. He could feel his hands shaking; injuries and tiredness forgotten. Why wouldn’t they tell him what the problem was? His heart was pounding so hard it felt like it might break out of his chest.

“Sam? Sam?... SAM?” Dean shook his arm, his face a picture of concern, “What’s going on?”

“Laura’s in hospital… St Mary’s… they just called.”

“What’s wrong?”

“They… they won’t say… but they, uh, they want me to go in.”

Dean said nothing, but turned the keys and Baby roared into life. Dean checked his watch and looked at Sam.

“Ok, let’s go.”

 

* * *

 

The drive was agonising. Nobody said much. Dean and Cas tried to reassure Sam but nothing helped and eventually they all fell into silence. They didn’t stop much, only for a couple of brief bathroom breaks and to refuel. They grabbed food and ate in the car as they sped along highways and long winding roads.

Sam tried not to think about what could have happened, he tried to be rational. It could be anything. Laura still had morning sickness he knew, maybe it had just gotten worse? Maybe she’d gotten some sort of bug working at the clinic that had wiped her out? All the same, there was a gnawing feeling in the pit of his stomach that he couldn’t shake. He tried calling her a couple of times, but nobody answered, so he left a voicemail letting her know they were on their way.

He took the photo of the ultrasound out of his wallet and stared at it, running his finger across it in some sort of silent prayer. It was funny how something he hadn’t cared about had started to mean something to him. He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked round to see Cas. The angel stared at him and squeezed his shoulder in a reassuring type of way, something he’d obviously seen Dean do.

Maybe, thought Sam, if it’s not too late, if there’s something wrong, maybe Cas can heal her? It wouldn’t take much, would it?

It was late when they finally arrived, pulling into the car park and making their way inside as fast as possible. The nurse on the front desk had directed them to the fifth floor and phoned ahead to let the nurse upstairs know they had arrived. By the time they found the elevator and made it to the fifth floor there was a woman in scrubs waiting for them.

“Mr Smith?”

Sam nodded, and looked around.

“Where’s Laura?”

The nurse smiled and nodded understandingly,

“She’s sleeping at the moment, but Dr Svanberg would like a quick word before you go in and see her. If you just wait here, I’ll go and fetch him.” And she pointed them to a row of padded seats by the nurse’s station as she disappeared down a corridor. The floor was quiet, except for the squeaking of shoes and the occasional beeping of machines.

Dean watched the fear rising in Sam’s face. Nobody else would be able to see it, Sam was good at keeping his emotions in check in front of other people, but Dean could read every tiny twitch of his brother’s face like an open book. But even he was nervous now and he didn’t know what to do or say to make Sam feel any better.

They didn’t have to wait long. The nurse returned with a man behind her. He had a kind, understanding face and dark hair, peppered with grey. He introduced himself and shook their hands in turn and opened the chart he was carrying.

“Ok, so, Laura was admitted early this morning with some abdominal pain and bleeding.” Sam’s heart dropped like a lead weight, he was pretty sure that these symptoms in pregnancy didn’t usually end well, but the doctor continued. “Now we’ve had her under observation all day and run some tests, done some scans and so far, everything looks ok. The bleeding and the pains have stopped but we’re going to keep her in for observation for another day or two and monitor her in case it happens again. Sometimes there is some bleeding in pregnancy without any cause that we can identify. That seems to be what’s happened here. But it’s always better to be safe rather than sorry, especially as it’s her first pregnancy.” He looked at Sam and smiled reassuringly. Sam’s heart was slowly returning to its normal position in his chest. His throat was dry and even though the doctor had said everything was ok, he had to ask, “And the baby?”

“The baby looks just fine.”

All three of them let out audible sighs and a small smile appeared on the corner of Sam’s lips as relief flooded through him.

“We’ve done another ultrasound and Laura’s wearing a foetal heart monitor just in case but I’m not too concerned at the moment. The baby seems healthy.”  The doctor smiled and continued, “Did they not tell you this over the phone?”

Sam shook his head and the doctor sighed, “Well I’m sorry to have made you drive all this way.”

“That’s ok, can we see her?”

Dr Svanbeg checked his watch and glanced around, “I can probably get you ten minutes but then you’d better come back in the morning. You can check downstairs when visiting hours are.”

He ushered down the corridor and pointed them to a small, dimly lit room at the end. The doctor opened the door and said a nurse would collect them in ten minutes. Sam nodded and took a deep breath, pushing the door open. Laura was asleep in the bed propped up on several pillows. Her bump was larger now, a definite swell under the sheets. A couple of machines beeped around her and there were two different heart monitors next to her. She must have only been half asleep because when she heard the door, one of her eyes flickered open to look at who it was.

“Sam?” Her voice was slightly hoarse, but her other eye opened and a sleepy smile spread across her face, “hey, thanks for coming. I’m sorry I couldn’t answer your calls, I was in tests all day and they’ve just given me something to help me sleep.”

“It’s ok, honestly. How do you feel?” the three of them pushed inside the room. Dean leant up against the door, Cas stood just inside the room, watching every move and gesture with interest and concern. Sam perched on the edge of the bed, taking Laura’s hand and running his thumb back and forward across the soft skin.

“Better than this morning. I was so worried, I guess with my medical knowledge… worst case scenario and all.”

“Yeah but better to make sure right?”  

Laura nodded sleepily, whatever they’d given her was clearly working because she could hardly keep her eyes open and within a minute she was asleep again. Sam let go of her hand and stood up to leave. He wasn’t sure what made him do it, relief he guessed, but he bent down and placed a soft kiss on the top of her head.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” He whispered.

As they turned to leave, Cas stopped and walked over to the bed. He placed his fingers on her forehead gently and closed his eyes for a split second. He looked at Sam, his blue eyes full of concern. He nodded slightly to himself and there was a hint of smile on his lips. 

“Just in case.”

 

* * *

 

Dr Svanberg wanted to keep Laura in for a couple of days, ‘to be on the safe side’ he said. Which was all well and good but by the end of the next day Laura was bored out of her skull and already climbing the walls. The doctor threatened to sedate her if she didn’t stay in bed and rest so she begrudgingly agreed.

 The boys all took turns to sit in with her, keeping her company, ducking out occasionally to get food and fresh air. There was an unspoken agreement between them that Laura shouldn’t be left alone and it seemed like a good opportunity to get to know her a bit more – given that they hadn’t really spent that much time in each other’s company.

The first afternoon Dean and Sam left Cas in the hospital while they ran a few errands and popped back to Laura’s to grab her some more clothes, a few books and her laptop when it appeared that Dr Svanberg wasn’t going to let her go anywhere fast.

Neither Cas or Laura had spent much time together so it was a bit strange at first. Cas pulled a chair up to the side of the bed and looked at Laura, his head tilted. He was under strict instructions from Sam not to reveal too much about their past misadventures. If anyone was going to tell Laura what they’d done, it would be Sam.

“Can I ask you something?” added Laura, after a long pause.

“Of course.”

“I don’t really know much about angels, so… how does it work? Is it the same as demons? I mean do you have to possess someone? Or is it consensual?... I’m curious?”

Cas began to explain, adding details of his own unique case and skirting around certain details. Laura watched him, her expression one of fascination and curiosity. When he’d finished, Laura added.

“So… now you are… you. More permanently that is, tell me about yourself. I know you the least I guess so…”

And so Cas began. The conversation was halting at first, so they began asking each other questions – a way to find out more about the stranger they would soon be connected to through Sam.

A little while later, Laura winced and placed her hand on her bump, muttering under her breath. Cas looked at her confusedly.

“Are you ok? Do I need to fetch Dr Svanberg?”

“No it’s fine, it’s just the baby wriggling.”

“You can feel the baby moving?”

“Yeah.” Laura grimaced and patted her bump gently, “It’s a right fidget butt, especially when I want to get some sleep!”

“Is it painful?” Cas asked, remembering his own experience of having something moving inside his abdomen. Something told him though that one baby was slightly different to Leviathans though.

“Not painful, not right now anyway. It’s more uncomfortable. Although I’ve been told it gets worse.” She shifted and hissed gently, rubbing her abdomen. Then she looked at Cas and smiled,

“Do you want to feel?” and she reached out and grabbed his hand, pulling him towards her. Cas lost his balance and nearly toppled face first onto Laura, but managed to catch himself on the edge of the bed. Laura rolled the top sheets back. She’d been allowed to put pyjamas on instead of a hospital gown and she pulled her top up exposing her skin. Gently, she placed Cas’ hand on her, it was warm and soft and she gestured to him to place the other one next to it, one on either side cradling the bump.

The baby was still moving, she could feel it again. The first time it had happened she’d nearly jumped out of her skin but she was more used to it now. Caroline had been able to feel it a couple of weeks ago and Laura had been dying to show Sam. She watched Cas’ face with intent. The angel looked so serious as he waited. He looked like he was about to say something.

Then the baby kicked his hand and Cas jumped backwards about 3 feet.

It was such a strange sensation, something he’d never felt before. He’d never really spent much time with pregnant women. He’d never really considered human reproductive biology before.

He looked at Laura and smiled, his blue eyes lighting up his entire face.

“I felt it kick.” He said, moving back to the bed and moving his hands back towards Laura, slowly this time, waiting for her permission. She nodded at him and he placed his hands down. Her skin was soft, with fine stretch marks criss-crossing it. The ugly scar was on off to one side, stretching slightly, but he didn’t mention it. He could feel the baby moving again and watched as Laura’s skin shifted slightly with it. He said nothing but his smile said it all.

“Don’t tell Sam and Dean,” said Laura softly, “They haven’t felt this yet and I want it to be a surprise.”

 

The next afternoon, Dean and Laura sat alone in the hospital room. Laura had shooed Sam away when he couldn’t sit still. She was watching Dr Sexy MD and when it was clear that Sam was going to keep disturbing her she sent him and Cas out with instructions to bring back more food. She was so hungry all the time at the moment and her particular craving was cheese Doritos dipped in marshmallow fluff.

Dean laughed and sank deeper into the large hospital chair he’d pulled up next to the bed. They watched quietly together. Since having been made to star in the show by Gabriel, Dean had to admit he wasn’t quite so keen on it but still it was entertaining, especially watching it with an actual doctor who kept pointing out the mistakes.

They had a large bag of popcorn between them which the boys had snuck into her that morning after she’d complained about the hospital food being awful. It was a vague form of peace offering after Laura threatened to eat them if they annoyed her.  

“No, you can’t do that… it won’t work.” Laura muttered. She saw Dean watching her and laughed, “I don’t even know why I watch this show y’know… I mean the acting is terrible and the medical stuff is appalling and y’know what?” She paused and reached for more popcorn, “Dr Sexy isn’t even that sexy!”

“Really? Look at him! The man is a Greek God!” Dean gestured at the TV and the brooding Dr Sexy. “But I know what you mean about the show.”

“It’s just so compelling, it’s like I have some sick fascination.”

When Sam came back he found them talking about burgers.

He’d been just outside the room when he’d heard them. Well, heard Laura… moaning…

_“Yes.. yes… Dean… that’s it!”_

He’d opened the door, eyes wide. Not quite sure what he was expecting to see, especially in a hospital. And as it was his brother and his… child’s mother? What even was Laura to him?

Laura was in bed, legs crossed (as much as possible), her hair pulled up in a messy topknot and Dean was sat on the edge of the chair, gesturing. They both looked up at Sam as he entered.

“Oooh, oooh Sam.” Said Laura, excitement ringing in her voice, “When I get out of this hole we have to go get burgers from this joint Dean was telling me about. They sound amazing!”

“I heard…” answered Sam, raising an eyebrow.

“I really need one right now y’know? Something big, meaty…. juicy…” she paused, her hands measuring out what Sam hoped to God was the size of a burger.

“Are we still talking about burgers?” Dean added, smirking at Sam.

“Yeah…” added Laura but in the spilt second she looked at Sam she shot him a wink. She paused, “It’s gotta have cheese too… and bacon, lots of bacon!”

“Seconded.”

“So Sam, did you bring me my Doritos?”

“Yes… but I got you some other bits too.” He fished in the bag he was holding and handed her a salad box. The look he received would have killed a lesser man.

“Salad? Salad?! What the hell is even in this?... Kale… Kale is not food Sam!!”

“Yes it is and you need to eat a balanced diet. I made sure it’s got plenty of good stuff in and I even got you some chicken and some quinoa to with it.”

Dean rolled his eyes and slowly slipped out of his seat. Never argue with a pregnant lady, that was his experience.

“Quinoa?? Really Sam? Are you a nutritionist now?”

“No but…”

Sam was keeping remarkably calm in the face of Laura’s obvious pregnancy induced rage Dean realised. He grabbed Cas by the arm and muttered something about fetching coffee as he made a swift dash for the door.

“No buts Sam, give me the goddamn marshmallow fluff!”

“Not until you eat something else. The books said…”

“Wait a second,” said Laura, suspiciously. This information had thrown her for a second and her anger was replaced by curiosity. “What books?”

“Ummm… well,” Sam shifted, slightly embarrassed now, “I bought a couple of books on pregnancy. Just to get some more information, I mean I research everything else I deal with so I figured this was no different.” He perched in the chair and opened his bag, pulling out a slightly battered copy of a book on pregnancy and parenting. “I’ve got a few of them. I’ve been reading them at night and on the road.” He looked up and her. There were tears pouring down her face. “Are you ok?” he was concerned now. She nodded and sniffed, trying to stop the floods.

“Uh-huh. It’s just, it’s just… that’s so sweet. I didn’t even imagine you’d do anything like that.” And she began to sob. Sam didn’t know what to do. He figured it was just hormones, he was pretty sure that it said somewhere about mood swings. He moved across to sit next to her on the bed, putting his arm around her. She leant into his shoulder, twisting her head to bury her face into his shirt as her body shook slightly. He stroked the back of her head and made soft, calming noises.

“Hey, hey, it’s ok…it’s ok…shhhh”. It took a while but eventually she stopped, pushing gently away from him and dabbing at the wet patch on his shirt, smiling at him awkwardly.

 “Thanks. Gah! I hate these hormones.” She chuckled, wiping away the last few tears. “But still, I meant it – that’s really sweet of you. I didn’t realise you were so… invested.”

“Well, why wouldn’t I be?”

They smiled at each other and the moment seemed to stretch out in time. Laura found herself gazing into his face, taking every single detail in. She couldn’t work out why he cared so much. Why any of them cared so much. They’d driven all the way across the country for her. They’d spent two days in her room keeping her company. Why would they do that for her?

Then Laura gently reached out for Sam’s hands, pulling him towards her, slipping them under her t-shirt and placing them on her stomach.

“I have a surprise for you.”

And Sam could feel it. The baby moving under his hands. He gasped and looked up at her, his eyes wide and another smile on his face.

“Want to know a secret?”

“Sure.”

“It’s always really wiggly when I talk to you and when it hears you talk to me.” Laura blushed, seemingly embarrassed by this.

Sam slid off the bed and knelt in front of her, his eyes level with the bump. Gently he rolled the t-shirt up, leant forwards and gently pressed his lips to the swell, planting soft kisses all over her.

Then the baby kicked him in the face.

Laura laughed so much she cried again.

 

Later that evening, Dr Svanberg dropped into her room. He looked at all the machines and her chart. Everything looked perfect – both for Laura and the baby. Neither of the Winchesters’ or Cas mentioned that Cas may have had a hand in preventing any further problems so they all feigned excitement at the diagnosis.

“Well, if everything looks this good in the morning, you can go home. But there is one condition,”

“What’s that?” asked Laura, suspicious again. Not that she didn’t trust him but Sam realised she was probably running over everything in her mind, trying to figure out what he wanted and coming up short.

“Well, you live with you Grandmother don’t you? I just want to make sure that there is going to be someone at home just in case and to make sure you get plenty of rest. No more late night clinic shifts for you.”

Laura looked at him, her face gloomy. “Well, that’s where we hit a snag. It’s just me at the moment… you see, Grandma’s gone away for a little bit with some old friends from work. Y’know just to catch up and blow off some steam.” She looked at Sam and Dean and realised they twigged. Old friends from work meant old hunting buddies so who knew how long she’d be away for…or whether she’d even come back.

“Well is there someone else who can stay with you?” Dr Svanberg looked pointedly at Sam when he said this. Laura said nothing.

“Why don’t you come stay with us?” They all looked round at the speaker. It was Dean. He was stood in the corner watching them. “We’ve got plenty of room right Sam? And one of us can always stay with her.” He smiled, “What do you say?”

The next morning, the Winchester’s and Cas wheeled their cheering new houseguest out of the hospital and into the back of the Impala.

“Well what do ya know, we’ve got a baby in Baby.” Chuckled Dean, as he put the car in gear and pulled out of the parking lot.

Next stop, Kansas.  


	6. Life with the Men of Letters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who responded to my pleas for fanfiction notes - you're all superstars. Talking about fanfiction was one of the most nerve wracking things I've done (especially as they videoed it for Facebook!)but luckily my friend who came for moral support/was dragged said I came across as informed and passionate... which is something! Anyway thanks for your support and for reading. 
> 
> A/N: This chapter has a little teeny bit of smut. It's also the first time I've attempted to write/publish it so I apologise profusely if it is truly terrible! Also I am not a doctor and therefore cannot vouch for my medical skills.

Laura settled happily into the bunker and life with Cas and the Winchesters resumed some vague sense of normality. Well, as normal as it could be. Laura had insisted they go back to work, emphatic that she didn’t need a constant babysitter and that them all sitting around in the bunker all day wasn’t good for anyone.

Dean agreed and it wasn’t long before he and Sam were back out on the road again. Despite Laura’s insistence, Cas stayed behind with her just in case anything happened. His healing skills would be enough to stave off anything major until they could get to a hospital. They found they quite enjoyed each other’s company and took great pleasure in sitting reading all afternoon and going for short walks. Laura was a terrible cook by her own admission and Cas wasn’t much better so Cas took to fetching take out or easy to cook food – unless Dean left them something they could heat up.

Cas was very interested in her pregnancy. He knew vague things about human reproduction but his knowledge was rusty and the whole thing fascinated him. He asked endless questions and Laura was happy to answer, but his questions were so random that one day she decided to do something about it.

They were sat in Laura’s room when Dean and Sam returned from a job. Dean volunteered to go check on the pair of them while Sam unpacked, he figured it would be the easier of the two tasks. As he walked towards her room, he could hear voices.

“Right, so after that the fertilised egg implants itself into the lining on the uterus.” It was Laura’s voice, using her best understanding doctor tone. He peered through the crack in the door. There were several medical textbooks spread out on the bed with various diagrams and what looked like a couple of models. He took one look at the whole thing and attempted to head very quickly in another direction but not before Cas spotted him at the door.

“Hello Dean.”

“Hey Cas, Laura.” Said Dean, pushing the door open a little. “Having fun?”

“Yes. I’m updating my knowledge about human reproduction and pregnancy.” Answered Cas, pointing at a diagram in one of the books, “I have to say it is very interesting.”

“Cas had some questions so I figured we might as well start at the beginning, as it were. Cover all the basics first. I’m pretty sure porn isn’t the best source of sex education.” Dean pulled an exasperated face and Laura rolled her eyes at him.

“Yeah well probably not.”

“Would you and Sam like to join us?” asked Cas, his face serious.

“Ummm, no… no thanks. I’m sure we’ll be just fine.”

“Do you know all of this already Dean?”

“Yeah… well more or less.” And with that he beat a hasty retreat away from Laura’s room.

Sam was just walking down to meet him. Dean held out an arm and caught him in the stomach.

“I would not go in there right now if I were you.”

“Should I be worried?” answered Sam, his eyebrows crinkling and he rubbed the area of his abdomen Dean had just smacked him in.

“Laura is teaching Cas where babies come from. They’ve got models and everything.”

“Oh…” added Sam and turned with his brother back towards the entrance. “So, you want a beer?”

“Yes, definitely beer.”

XXX

When they came back from the next job it was just Laura in the bunker. She hadn’t been sleeping well, only managing a couple of hours a night so she’d been staying in that day, trying to get some rest, while Cas had gone out for fresh air and to get some more food. While she was grounded, she figured that she might as well update her knowledge and had made a start on working through the records and library of the Men of Letters. It was heavy going but at least it was keeping her occupied. She was just thumbing through a complicated volume on Alpha lore when she heard the brothers come clattering in and Sam’s voice, shouting.

“Cas? Cas? We need help!”

She dumped the book down and moved as quickly as she could to the sound of the voices.  

Sam was supporting Dean who looked groggy, blood seeping through his shirt. Sam’s nose was bloody and there was blood all over him too.

“Where’s Cas? Dean’s hurt.”

“Put him down here.” Said Laura, indicating a chair nearest the table and helping Sam to manoeuvre Dean into it.  “Cas isn’t here.” She added, matter of factly, moving closer to inspect Dean’s wound. She turned to Sam, her voice calm but with a hard edge. “Go to my room and bring the black and green cases that are on the floor.”

Sam paused, unsure for a second. Laura could see the question of why on his face. “Actual doctor here Sam. Go fetch the cases so I can fix you both up.” She shooed him away, and turned back to Dean who was still just about conscious.

“Dean can you hear me?”

Dean nodded slowly, his head swinging.

“Ok, good. Try to relax, I’m going to have a look at your chest.”

Sam returned with the cases and Laura pulled them both open, taking out various bottles, needles, dishes and medical equipment. She pulled on a pair of gloves and picked up some scissors, cutting open Dean’s shirts to examine the wounds in his chest. There were a couple of deep, gaping lacerations. Something had taken a swipe at him.

“Tell me what happened.” She asked Sam, not taking her eyes off Dean. She listened to Sam explain how they’d been tracking a Wendigo and how it had put up a hell of a fight, taking out Dean before Sam could put it down. Laura stood up and filled a syringe from a vial and then swabbed Dean’s pectoral and injected the liquid in. Out of the corner she could Sam hovering, a look of concern on his face.

“It’s local anaesthetic,” she said, answering the question he wasn’t asking, “I know you guys are probably just used to sucking it up, using some booze and getting on with it but I don’t approve of that method. Not when I can do something about it.” She put the syringe down and pulled a few things closer to her. She looked at Sam. “Please sit down, you look like some worried mother. I do actually know what I’m doing you know.”

As the local anaesthetic kicked in she began cleaning Dean’s wounds and stitching them up slowly and carefully and then covering them up with clean dressings and bandages. Dean was starting to come to become more conscious. He tried to shift in the chair more.

“Easy, easy. Just a few more minutes.” She said softly, putting her hand on his leg. “I just want to give you a once over.” She gently eased what was left of his shirt off to check the rest of his arms and torso. Dean protested slightly, trying to bat her away.

“No, it’s fine… I’ll be ok…” he said, slowly.

“No way. Doctor’s orders. Let me have a look at you. Do you think I haven’t seen a topless man before?”

Sam chuckled and his nose throbbed. It was probably broken. Laura checked Dean over, gently examining him and cleaning most of the blood off. There was nothing else that needed stitches on his chest or arms but there would be some interesting bruises. However, there was a rip in his jeans on his thigh and there was a lot of crusted blood there. She wondered whether there was something underneath that would need patching up – even if it was just some steri strips or staples.

“Dean,” she said, clearly so he could hear her. He looked up at her, his face registering that he’d heard her. “You’re going to need to take off your jeans so I can look at this thing on your leg.” She wasn’t embarrassed, why would she be? But Dean flushed slightly.

“Wh...wha…why?”

“Because it’s obviously been bleeding and I need to check it out. Can you move and undo them or do you need help?” It wasn’t a request, it was more of an order. “If not, I will cut them off instead.” Dean winced and flexed his fingers. His arms ached but his chest was still numb. He slowly undid his jeans and slid them off gently.

“Sam, have you got a blanket or something?” asked Laura and Sam disappeared for a minute, returning with a plaid blanket. “Great, thanks. Now can you go get Dean another shirt and some more jeans. You might also want to get changed while you’re at it.” She added, pointedly looking at his clothes. “Is it just your nose? Or is anything else bleeding?” Sam shook his head and moved slowly out of the room, limping slightly.

Laura took Dean’s jeans from him and placed the blanket across his lap, adding “You didn’t think I’d make you sit here in just your underwear, did you?”

“Well, I wasn’t sure.” Laura laughed and examined his leg. It wasn’t as bad as it had first appeared, just needed cleaning and a couple of closure strips. She began to clean it gently,

“How’s your pain?”

“Not bad,” Laura looked up at him with a raised eyebrow, “honestly! I’m not used to having any form of pain relief except whiskey.” He shifted a little, “I have to admit, it’s nice for once.” Laura chuckled,

“All hunters are the same.” She sounded exasperated but unsurprised.

“Hey, can I ask you a question?”

“Why’d you become a doctor anyway? I mean most hunter kids end up back in the life, even if they get out. Look at Sam… went to Stanford and now one of the best hunters I know.”

“Sam went to Stanford?”

“Yeah… he was pre-law… he didn’t tell you?” Dean raised an eyebrow.

“No, he didn’t.” she sighed and rummaged in the black case on the table for a little packet of strips. While she was standing, she gently lifted the corner of her shirt up to show Dean the scar on the side of her bump. His eyes widened.

“Shit. What happened?”

“Hunting accident when I was younger. Ended up in hospital for about ten days.” She smiled, “The doctors were amazing though. There was one… Dr Greenwood… she was badass… talked me through everything, showed me exactly what they’d done…and after the accident I went to live with my grandma I began to wonder if there was something else I could do… instead of hunting that is. And I remembered her.” She tilted her head and sighed, bending down to finish looking at Dean’s leg. “And I remembered always having to help stitch my dad up. I figured hunters could do with a decent doctor!” There was a soft, nostalgic air to her voice as she finished closing the wound with the strips. “Now,” her tone was formal again, “Don’t get them wet and try and rest. No hunting until your chest has healed a bit. I’m pretty sure you’ve got a couple of broken ribs as well but I can’t do much about them.” She peeled her gloves off, rummaged in the bag and poured a little clear liquid into a small tumbler, holding it out for Dean to drink. He looked at it suspiciously. “It’s liquid morphine. For the pain you’ll have when the anaesthetic wears off.”

Dean swigged it gladly and Sam returned with some extra clothes. He was clean now and Laura made him sit down so she could reset his nose and clean him up. She wondered briefly if he’d heard any of her conversation with Dean, but she put it out of her mind. She hadn’t ever asked Sam about his youth so why would he tell her? It’s not like they were in a relationship or anything. Still, it made her feel odd, she couldn’t place the emotion and it troubled her.

XXX

Dean wasn’t confined to the bunker for long. Cas gave his body a helping hand with healing but he seemed reluctant to do it all, since Laura had gone to so much trouble with stitching him up. A week later he dragged Sam out on a fairly local job, only a couple of hours away. Easy to get back should something go wrong.

They weren’t gone that long and Sam was still wearing his fed suit when they returned. He made his way down to his room, meaning to change and then go help Dean, who was giving Baby a once over. She’d started making a rattling noise on the journey home and Dean’s first priority was to give his beloved car some TLC.

Sam could hear noise coming from his room and wrinkled his eyebrows up as he pushed the door open. He didn’t really know what to do with what he saw.

Laura was sat on his bed surrounded by what looked like an entire store’s worth of cookies. Quite a few of the packets were empty but a lot of them hadn’t even been touched.

“Ok…” He pushed the door shut behind him and surveyed the chaos.

“Hey Sam! I’ve got cookies.” Laura looked happy and relaxed, propped up against his pillows, wearing a pair of shorts and a vest top stretched over her expanding bump.

“I can see that. Where did they come from?”

“Cas,” answered Laura, as if this explained everything. She picked up a cookie and held out the pack to Sam, he reached across and took one. They were triple chocolate and amazing and he found himself eating another.

“Where did Cas get them? And why?”

“Oh.. well… we were watching a documentary this morning, because you said I could watch your TV, and it was on otters and there were baby otters Sam. Baby Otters!” Her eyes were wide and imploring, “and then one of them died Sam! And it was so sad. And then I googled otters and did you know they hold hands when they’re sleeping to stop themselves floating away.” Sam chuckled, he thought he’d got it figured out. It seemed like Cas had been exposed to the full flood of Laura’s pregnancy hormones.

“So, you cried on poor Cas?”

“Yeah…” she looked slightly sheepish, “and he asked what would make it better and I said cookies and then he just left and bought me back all these.” She shook her head in disbelief, “I don’t even know where he got them.”

Sam shook his head in answer, he wasn’t totally sure either as none of the local stores would stock this many varieties. He realised Laura was staring at him,

“You’re still wearing your suit? How did it go?”

“Well, it turned out not to be a job… just an actual serial killer this time…” he took off his jacket and hung it up and then pulled at his tie.

“Oh…wow.” Sam nodded and looked over at her. She was watching him with a devious smile on her lips. “You can keep going you know. I don’t mind.” He raised an eyebrow but began to unbutton his shirt. “You look tense Sam. Very tense. And you’ve been working so hard lately. Anything I can do to help you relax?”

“I think I’m ok.” He looked at her, stretched out on the bed, a small though creeping into his mind about where this might be headed. Even though Laura had complained once or twice about how big she was getting, Sam still thought she was very attractive, not to mention it wasn’t just her stomach that was the only thing getting bigger, her breasts had definitely grown too. He’d deny it under duress, of course, but he couldn’t help himself that he kept looking at them… it was difficult not too when she insisted on wearing very fitted vest tops.

He pulled off his shirt and dropped it to the floor in what may or may not have been a deliberate move. Especially as he had a fitted white t-shirt on underneath, that clung to every curve of his muscles. There was a mischievous look in her eyes now.

“Really? Are you sure?” she slowly pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. Sam didn’t say anything, but there was a warming sensation spreading through his gut. “Well, if you’re sure…”

“Unless you had something in mind?” he had trouble getting the words out. He was now pretty damn sure where this conversation was going as he slipped off his shoes, not taking his eyes off her.

“Well now you mention it, I do.” She licked her lips softly and wiggled into a seated position, sliding off the bed and padding over to stand in front of him. He could feel his breath catch in his chest as she rested her hands on his stomach, running her fingers up him slowly, gently caressing the ridges of muscle underneath the thin fabric that sent shivers down his spine. She wrapped her arms around his neck, standing on her tiptoes to whisper in his ear.

“I want you Sam.”

Those words sent little shock-waves rippling through him and there was a hot feeling curling in his abdomen. Laura stepped back a little, watching him closely with a lustful glint in her eye. Sam couldn’t deny how much he wanted to take her up on that suggestion. It had been too long and he desperately wanted to run his fingers and mouth across her skin; tasting her, feeling her writhe under his touch, listening to the delicious noises he knew he could extract from her. The memories of that night in Minnesota have fuelled his fantasies for a while and just thinking about them now, with Laura pressed up against him, made his dick twitch.

He glanced down at her bump as he ran her word over in his mind, quickly imagining all of the things he wanted to do to her right now, even as the sensible part of his brain was questioning whether this was a good idea. She must have seen him glance, because she whispered,

“It’s perfectly safe, nobody has said I can’t.” trying to allay his fears as she gently began to suck the pulse point in his neck, extracting a moan from Sam as heat flooded his veins, pushing all his concerns to one side.

His closed his hands on her waist, pulling her closer again, sliding his hands under her top, feeling her cool skin underneath his fingers. He tilted her chin up, running his thumb across her bottom lip, closing his eyes as she wrapped her lips gently around the pad and sucked it gently. When he looked down, Laura was looking up at him, a little wanton smile on her lips.

“Do you want me Sam?”

He leant down and kissed her.

It wasn’t a gentle kiss. It was full of heat, desire and longing. Laura let out a little moan as Sam pushed his tongue into her mouth and pulled her bottom lip between his teeth. His kisses were demanding and she melted into him as his hands began exploring her body, her skin tingling at his touch. She tugged his t-shirt out of his waistband, slipping her hands under it to run her fingers over his muscles and then under the waistband of his trousers, teasing his cock in a deft movement. The heat rolled off his skin as she returned to caressing his hips and he trailed hot, wet kisses down her neck, nipping at the skin and drawing gasps and moans from Laura’s lips.

They pulled apart for a second, their breathing heavy, a fire burning in Sam’s eyes.

“Does that answer your question?” he whispered as he tugged her vest top over her head.

XXX

Sometime later, Laura exited Sam’s room. She was carrying an armful of unopened cookie packets and wearing Sam’s shirt over her knickers. She’d pulled it on quickly when he went off for a shower, it made a good makeshift dress. Sam had told her Dean was outside and that Cas was probably with him so she figured she’d be fine to just put the cookies in the kitchen for everyone to help themselves to before she went and found some better clothes.

Unfortunately, as she entered the kitchen she came face to face with Dean, who was washing his hands in the sink. She nearly dropped the cookies in shock and her face went scarlet.

“Hey,” he said, a playful smile on his face as he took in her appearance, “Have fun?”

“Oh God….”

“I’m pretty sure you already said that.”

“Fuck…”

“That too!”

Laura wanted the ground to open up and swallow her. The motel situation had been one thing but this, this was a completely new level of embarrassment. She wanted to cover her face but her arms were still holding the cookies.

“You heard?” her voice was hushed and pained.

“Oh yeah!” Dean chuckled and noted her shame, “Don’t worry about it, seriously. It’s not like I’ve not heard it all before.”

“I’m so, so sorry, Sam said you were outside with Baby.”

“Oh that, easy fix, only took me fifteen minutes.”

“Right… well… I’m gonna…” she stepped forward and quickly dumped the packets on the side, but one slid off. She tried to bend down to pick it up but that was something that was proving more difficult every the week.

Dean stepped forward and picked it up off the floor examining it.

“Brownie stuffed chocolate chip cookies.”

“Yeah,” Laura nodded, not looking at him. “They’re really good, Cas and I already ate a packet.”

“He mentioned he’d got you a load of cookies, I’m glad there are some left.” He pulled the wrapper open and picked one out, offering one to Laura. “Seriously though, don’t be embarrassed. I’ve been around Sam long enough to have heard plenty. And I’m pretty sure he’d say the same about me.”

Laura nodded and took one of the proffered cookies and muttered thanks. They stood in silence for a while, eating the cookies.

“Hey Dean.”

“Yeah,” he answered, between cookies.

“Thanks... I know Sam said you’ve been really supportive about this whole… situation. So, thanks.” She looked at him, still embarrassed to be standing there bare footed in Sam’s shirt but Dean didn’t really seem to care. He smiled at her.

“Hey what are older brothers for?! Besides,” he added, taking another cookie, “You lasted this long, you’ve gotta be special.” And he chuckled. Laura looked at him in confusion. So, Dean began to explain about the general rule of thumb being that a lot of Sam’s _dates_ didn’t often live very long, especially Dean added, because he seemed to really like banging monsters. So, in Dean’s opinion a hunter was definitely good for him – a nice change of pace.

Laura watched him, laughing and ate cookies. She found Dean very easy to talk to. He was interesting, funny and easy going. And kind. She’d enjoyed chatting to him the hospital and in the bunker; he listened and didn’t judge and they had similar interests in good food and Dr Sexy MD. It was so obvious how much he loved his brother, and she was infinitely grateful that he was so supportive, understanding and accepting.

A thought crossed her mind about what would have happened if it had been the other way around, if it was Dean’s baby instead of Sam’s. He’d be a good father, she realised. He’ll be a good uncle too.

The baby squirmed and she rubbed her belly, muttering under her breath to it, asking it to settle down. Dean noticed,

“Somebody got the fidgets?”

“Yeah, all the time recently. Can’t seem to get a decent night’s sleep for the life of me!” She paused, looking at the elder Winchester. “You wanna feel?” and she grabbed his hand, sliding it under her shirt and pressing it to her skin. His hands were warm and calloused. There was a look of shock on his face. He hadn’t been expecting that. He knew Sam had felt the baby kicking, he’d talked about it with Dean. It had made it all the more real to his baby brother. The baby wiggled and Laura grimaced slightly. Dean exhaled but there was a little smile on his lips.

“Wow, you’re right. It really is wriggling.”

“And I’ve still got another 2 and a half months to go.” She sighed, “My organs are going to be black and blue.” She paused and looked at up Dean. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Fire away.” He took his hands out from under her shirt and pulled another cookie packet open.

“How’s Sam feeling about all this? Does he talk to you much about it?”

“Yeah… a bit.” The question threw Dean a little, didn’t they talk about this? Sam was always texting Laura and he’d heard them chatting on the phone. “He’s excited I think, terrified though because of everything we’ve been through. Especially in the past few years,” Laura wrinkled up her face in confusion, shooting him a piercing look, but she didn’t say anything and Dean continued, “And it was definitely a surprise. He really wasn’t sure at first, didn’t think he could do it…and, don’t take this the wrong way, but he definitely didn’t think he was father material. But, who knows maybe fatherhood will be good for him.”

Laura looked down and chewed her lip thoughtfully,

“I wasn’t sure either.” She said softly, “I didn’t think I could do it. I’m still not sure I can.” She felt Dean put a hand on her shoulder, it was warm and reassuring, “I wasn’t going to keep it. I was adamant I didn’t want it. I’m really not fit to be a mother.” Her voice was a whisper.

“Hey, hey it’s ok.” Dean muttered, he pulled her slightly, wrapping her up into his chest, her bump pressing into him. It was all he could think of to say.

“It’s not though. I really didn’t want to go through with it. When I first found out, I kept telling them to get rid of it. It was a problem I didn’t want. I just wanted it to go away.” She was starting to cry, slow tears crawling down her face as she poured out her deepest fears, her darkest secrets. “But they took me for a scan, because they wanted to know how far along I was and the technician didn’t know what I’d told the doctors and when I heard it… when I heard the heartbeat… I just couldn’t…I don’t know why, but I couldn’t…but I know I’m going to be an awful parent.” Dean squeezed her tighter.

“You’re not. I promise.”

“How do you know?” there was a note of desperate fear in her voice, “I’m a terrible person Dean. I’m a monster.”

Same words. Different person.

He flashed back to when Sam had told him. He could hear Sam’s voice in his head.

“ _I’m an abomination, a monster.”_

“You’re not a monster” he said, his voice calm but firm. “I’ve met enough monsters to know you’re not one.”

“How do you know?” there was desperation there when she asked again, “You don’t know what I’ve done.” She looked up at him, her eyes wide. “I’ve killed people Dean… lots of people… and the worst part was… I enjoyed it.”

The last words were shaky and barely audible. Her deepest secret.

“I’m a borderline alcoholic who likes killing people…. I tried to be normal, I tried to be a good person… but I’m not, I’m not…” her tears were thicker now. 

He pushed her back to arm’s length, looking into her eyes with a fierce piercing stare. He voice was calm, but there was a strong, solid edge to it. One that forbade argument.

“You listen to me. You think you’re the only one who feels like this? All hunters feel the same. You think we don’t all enjoy it sometimes, even if it’s just a little bit. You think you’re the only person to ever try and find comfort at the bottom of a bottle? It doesn’t make you a bad person. You’re only human.” He shook her gently, “You’re not a monster,” he repeated, “And whatever happens, we’re all going to be here with you. It doesn’t matter what you’ve done because I can guarantee you that I’ve done worse. You just need to keep going. And I promise, you’re going to be a good mother.”

“How do you know?” the same question again, the same fear and desperation.

“Because you sound like you know what it’s like to have a bad parent and trust me, that will influence every decision you make.”

She nodded, and wiped her eyes as Dean pulled her into another hug. He held her tightly, listening to her breathing. He smelt of leather, motor oil, whiskey and coffee – a familiar, comforting combination of smells. She took a deep breath.   

“You’re going to be fine.” Dean repeated and stroked her hair. He felt her shift and looked down to see her eyes staring up at him again.

“Please, don’t tell Sam about this. I don’t want him to know.” There was a desperate and pleading edge to her voice.

He nodded but secretly he began to plan. It sounded to him like Sam and Laura could both do with talking to each other, really talking. They both were obviously hiding things from each other and that wasn’t going to work. If he knew anything from past experience if you were going to look after a kid, successfully, you both had to be on the same page. He thought about the painful memories of Lisa and Ben. The ones he’d tried to bury. Lisa had seen him at his worst, had known his secrets and seen his pain. He knew Sam and Laura had to talk to each other.

And he was going to make them.

When Sam came into the kitchen after his shower, he found Laura still dressed in his shirt, wrapped up in Dean’s arms. She looked like she’d been crying. She said it was about otters again and Dean nodded, with a confused expression on his face that seemed to say, _I don’t understand it either_.

Sam accepted their answer but he wasn’t sure he believed them.


	7. Marshmallow Fluff and Fighting

Dean began to put his plan into action over the next two weeks. He was determined that these two idiots were damn well going to talk to each other – even if he had to force them.

_Step One_ : _Force them to spend more time together. Alone_.

So, when a job came up he sent the pair of them. It seemed to Dean, reading between the lines in the papers, like a simple salt and burn. He feigned pain in his chest and told Sam to take Laura instead. Sam looked worried,

“Are you sure Dean?”

“Of course, I’ll be fine and I’m pretty sure Laura’s not invalid or stupid. Besides it will be good for her to get out and about. She’s probably going crazy cooped up here!” He shoved them out of the bunker before Sam could question him any further. He threw the keys to the Impala to his brother with parting words of, “Don’t hurt my Baby.”

He kept Cas with him, telling him he needed some help. Cas looked at him with confusion but didn’t say anything until the two of them were alone in the bunker. Dean began to outline his plan to the angel.

“I don’t understand Dean, what’s the point of all this?”

“The point, Cas, it to actually make them talk to each other. I’m pretty sure I’ve told Laura more about Sam’s life than he has. And if we have to make them then so be it.”

He knew they wouldn’t be long on the job and so he set about preparing the next part.

_Step Two: The Right Situation._

Dean realised he might not know everything about relationships but he knew a lot about women and a lot about Sam. Time to put that knowledge to good use.

When Laura and Sam returned to the bunker a couple of days later they were smiling and laughing together. This, Dean thought, was a good start. Sam was still covered in grave dirt while Laura was clean, he could hear fragments of their conversation drifting through to him.

“I still don’t see why I had to do all the digging?”

“Errr hello, seven months pregnant, I’m not doing any heavy lifting!”

“But did you have to be so bossy?”

“Shut up!” and there was sound of laughter and Laura shot past the door, obviously trying to evade Sam. It was nice, Dean mused to himself, to actually see his brother relaxed and happy for a change. They obviously got on well together, even if the pair of them were too stupid to either notice or do anything about it.

They tried to come into the kitchen but Dean shooed them away. He told Laura to go and rest for a little bit and that he would call her when dinner was ready. He sent Sam to get changed and told him, in no uncertain terms, to dress nice. Tidy himself up a bit.

He’s plotting something, Sam realised, as he made his way to his room. He’s definitely plotting something and immediately he began to try and work out what his brother was up to. 

He showered and dressed himself in a clear shirt and jeans before he knocked on Laura’s door. She was sat on the bed immersed in her laptop, wrapped in one of Sam’s shirts which she’d taken to stealing because they were roomy and comfortable. Her bump was slowly but steadily increasing in size, along with her breasts, and she complained that none of her clothes fit her anymore. The easiest solution, in her opinion, was just to borrow Sam’s shirts instead of buying bigger clothes for herself.

“You ok?” Sam asked, sticking his head round the door. Laura nodded and patted the bed for him to come sit down.

“Yeah, just realising that I still have so much to do.” She sighed and ran her hands through her hair, “We’ve only got seven weeks left and do you realise how unprepared we are?”

Sam thought for a moment, it was probably true.

“We’ve got no nursery, no furniture, no stroller, no bottles, no toys, no car seat… nothing! I have absolutely none of the paraphernalia that you have with kids and I need to.” She paused, “all I have are a couple of outfits I bought a few weeks ago and a long list.”

Sam smiled and patted her leg, he’d forgotten about all of this. They’d been so focused on the baby itself they’d actually forgotten about all the stuff they needed to go with it.

“It’ll be ok, we’ll get something sorted. Do you want to head back to your house soon and we can start working some stuff out? I’m sure I can spare some time to get everything organised and I can get Dean and Cas to help too. Are you staying at your Grandma’s?”

“I don’t know, I honestly don’t. It’s something I really need to figure out and soon…” she looked glum, “But the help, that would be great, I definitely can’t build a whole crib by myself right now.” she nodded to herself, and chewed her lip thoughtfully. “Plus I’ve got a growth appointment at the hospital, to see how it’s all going. Want to come too?” 

Sam nodded again and smiled. “What are you looking at? Anything fun?” he gestured at the open laptop, whose screen he couldn’t see, “Is it porn?” Laura laughed, throwing her head back.

“Well not really, sorry to disappoint! Actually, it’s this…” she turned the screen around sheepishly. It was Pinterest and it was image upon image of nursery’s – all different colours and styles; simple whites and greys to green vibrant jungles to dark blues, covered in stars. “I just thought I’d get some ideas. See what I like and what I can actually do… and afford!”

“Sounds like a good plan to me, move over.” Sam gently pushed her across the bed and spread out next to her, holding the laptop and scrolling through the screen and clicking on various images to examine them further. “Hey, check this out.”

XXX

When Dean summoned the pair of them for dinner, he discovered them still sat on Laura’s bed immersed in nursery research. Sam had started making lists and there were bits of paper scattered everywhere and the pair of them were chatting animatedly.

“Hey, you two, I’ve been calling for 10 minutes. Get your asses to dinner!”

Laura sent Sam on ahead, saying that she probably ought to put better clothes on. Especially as Dean and Sam seemed to be looking a lot smarter than usual. When she appeared at the table Sam, Dean and Cas were all sat there, chatting quietly. The table itself was laid neatly and groaning with food.

“What’s going on?” she asked, pausing before she sat down. They’d had dinners together, but nothing like this. She glanced over the table, eyeing up all the amazing looking dishes. “Is that mac ‘n cheese?”

“Yes it is,” Answered Dean, directing her to grab a seat. “I thought we could all have a nice dinner together and try to get to know each other better seeing as how I believe we’ve only got another, what, seven weeks or so till this baby makes an appearance!”

“Okay…” replied Laura, slightly suspiciously, “sounds like a good plan to me I guess.”

Dean nodded and smiled and began helping himself to food, indicating they should all do the same.

“So Sam,” Dean began, as he spooned himself a large helping of mac and cheese onto his plate, “did you know that Laura went to UCLA?”

“Errr… yeah actually I did. We were talking about it in the car.”

“I asked Sam about his time at Stanford.” Laura added, pulling apart a piece of garlic bread, “We swapped college horror stories… bad roommates, bad hangovers, bad dates… that sort of thing. I did the rest of my medical training in Chicago… back when there was all the weird shit going on, do you remember? Y’know tornados, floods, power outages, weird illnesses – it was a few years ago now, but wow it was tough. I got totally thrown in at the deep end!” she paused, noting the slightly odd looks on all the other faces in the room, “You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that would you? Always seemed a little off… a little unnatural…” she watched them carefully and Cas looked like he was about to speak, at least his mouth was open and then he closed it again and tilted his head to shoot Sam a confused look. Unless she was very much mistaken, Sam had just kicked him under the table. There was something suspicious going on here.

There was silence for a while as they all dished out food. Dean had been kind enough to procure Laura a large jar of marshallow fluff, for some reason she absolutely craved it with cheese – it probably wasn’t healthy but it was definitely delicious, at least to her!

“Okay,” she said, “why don’t we start with some basics then? When are your birthdays? Mine was October 16th, not long before I met you guys really.”

“Dean’s is January 24th, Cas doesn’t really have one and mine is May 2nd-”

“Wait… that wasn’t long ago… around when I was in hospital… why didn’t you say anything? We could have gotten dinner! I’d have gotten you a present or something. We could at least have had cake!”

“That’s ok… I don’t really do birthdays.” muttered Sam quietly. They never really had done. John hadn’t really cared, he’d never really mentioned it. It was just a number and each year just meant you should be more of a man. Dean had cared though, he’d always tried to do something. Even if it was just sticking a candle in a piece of pie and buying Sam a present from the nearest gas station.

“Really? Not even when you were a kid?”

“No, not really… our dad didn’t really do birthdays either.”

“Wow that sucks,” and she genuinely looked gutted for them, “Some of my favourite memories are my birthdays.”

“Really? Your dad always sounded like a bit of jerk…” Sam said, then quickly remembered he wasn’t supposed to know half of what he did. “Or at least, that’s what you said.” He added, eyeing Laura’s slightly suspicious face.

“That’s true but my birthday was pretty much the only day of the year I could guarantee that my dad would be nice to me. But my mom loved birthdays y’see and I think he wanted to keep that going… just for her.” She paused and began to spoon more food onto her plate, mixing marshmallow fluff into the mac and cheese. “I think my tenth birthday was my favourite.” Laura added, half to herself, half to the others.

“What happened on your tenth birthday?” asked Cas, who was sat at the end of the table watching her with his head on one side again.

“I burned my first bones,” said Laura, as if it was the most normal thing in the world, “did it pretty much all by myself, dad made me do a lot of the digging too... and then afterwards my dad took me back to the motel and put me to bed for a bit. Then when I woke up he took me to a football game, bought me hotdogs – well whatever I wanted really – and then afterwards he took me out for ice cream. He bought me a sundae that was a big as my head. And he kept telling me, telling everyone how proud he was of me… ‘this is my princess, it’s her birthday today, isn’t she beautiful? I’m so proud of her.’ ‘I’m so proud of you princess, you did so well today’, ‘you’re going to be the best hunter, princess.’ …my mom used to call me princess… so did he when he was pleased with me…” her voice tailed off for a second, “and then he gave me my present. My own gun. I’d always used his before to practice and this one was mine.” She smiled, “I guess most ten-year-old girls want ponies or clothes or toys but that’s all I wanted. It was the best present I’d ever had. I’ve still got it actually.” She laughed, trying to read their faces,

“Man, hunter families are fucked up! I mean c’mon that’s my best memory, what kind of person says that’s their best memory?! I think it was after I told her that my Grandma started to get suspicious that my dad was a bit of shitty role model. And he probably was… I mean he drank himself to death and he wasn’t exactly kind or loving most of the time and he used to get me up at two in the morning to train in the dark so my senses were better, even if it was snowing or raining… but he made me a good hunter and even after he left, he still came back when I was older and took me hunting in the summers and didn’t say that I’d gone soft… and… and…” she trailed off as if she had said too much, revealed too much about herself. She looked very much like she watched to take back most of it.

“And you still loved him, because he was your dad.” Said Dean, quietly, and reached across the table to squeeze her hand.

“Yeah…” she nodded, “He’s the reason I went AWOL for a year. When he died, I just couldn’t think straight, couldn’t cope with anything so I just went back to doing what I knew best: killing monsters.”

She sighed and pulled at another piece of garlic bread, not looking any of them, fearful of what she might find.

“So, now I’ve spilled my metaphorical guts to you all, your turn.” Time to find out what they were hiding, “I’ve told my tragic backstory and now you, Sam Winchester, are gonna tell me what you know about Chicago. I know you know something, I can tell.”

There was a flash of uncertainty in his face, but it was gone virtually instantaneously.

“Nothing really, I thought it was just as strange as you… must be global warming or something.”

Dean was glaring at him, but said nothing.

“You’re lying Sam.” Her voice was flat and icy. “I know it.”

“I’m not, really.”

“Please,” there was no begging or pleading, it was merely an added politeness. “You are the legendary Winchester brothers and I’ve heard so many stories, stuff that would make your ears burn. I know you all know something and you are hiding it from me. Tell me.”

None of them said anything.

“Does this have something to do with the apocalypse?” Jackpot. Both of their faces twitched subtly and Cas’ eyes narrowed.

“What do you know about that?” asked Sam, his voice measured. He wasn’t denying it.

“Not much… just rumours from other hunters… but they all involve Sam and Dean Winchester and an angel in a trench coat.”

“That’s all they are, just rumours.” Said Sam flatly, he was trying to shut the conversation down.

“You’re lying again Sam.” She snapped. There was a red-hot rage building inside her. “Tell me the truth. Right now.”

“No.” came the reply.

“Sam-”

“No Dean,”

“She deserves the truth.”

“No.”

“Why not?” interjected Laura.

“Because… because…”

“Because what Sam?” her voice was as cold and hard as steel.

“Because it’s nothing to do with you.” He said cooly.

“Oh really… nothing to do me with… It has everything to do with me. I am the mother of your child and if you want anything to do with the life of your son or daughter you will tell me everything that is going on, everything you know, right now!”

“No, I’m sorry but I won’t. You can rage and storm and threaten all you like, but I won’t tell you anything. It’s for your own good.”

That was the last straw. Laura felt her temper snap like a dry twig.

“FOR MY OWN GOOD? Do you think I am some sort of fucking child? What the hell have you been mixed up in that you feel you have to withhold your entire life from me? I know as much about you now as when I first me you and I have been nothing but open and honest with you.”

“Really? Open and honest? Then how come you lied about your scar – I know it was your dad’s fault. How come you wouldn’t admit that you’re a virtual alcoholic? Or that you wanted to get rid of the baby? I heard you. I know how much you didn’t want it. How it-”

“Sam, that’s enough!” Dean snapped, thumping the table and watching his attempt at a family dinner disintegrate before his eyes.

Sam didn’t realise he’d been shouting too and that last statement was a nuclear bomb that he hadn’t meant to drop. He hadn’t meant to let her know he’d overheard her crying to Dean, because he had secrets too. He wished he could take it back. But it was too late, that damage was done and all he could do was watch the fallout.

Laura said nothing, her glare was deathly. She threw down her cutlery on the table and stalked out of the room.

A minute later they heard her bedroom door slam shut.

XXX

Dean insisted they give Laura some space to calm down.

We always want space when we fight so just give her a chance to breathe, he told Sam, whose face was contorted in guilt. He knew he’d gone too far.  

After half an hour, Dean knocked on her bedroom door. He could hear someone moving around and the door opened a fraction, Laura’s eyes looked up at him through the crack in the door.

“What do you want Dean?”

“Can I come in?”

She said nothing but pulled the door open and let him in. There were bags all over the floor and clothes and books sprawled all over the bed. There was a little gun on the edge of the bed too. Dean gently picked it up and examined it,

“You planning on shooting someone?” his voice was light but he carefully unloaded it, putting the shells into his pocket and smiling ruefully. Laura shrugged.

“I was thinking about shooting Sam,” she paused, “but I didn’t think it would get me anywhere.”

Dean chuckled and passed the gun back to her, happier now it was empty.

“Yeah, I couldn’t let you do that. Sam’s family.”

“I know.” She sighed again and sat on the edge of the bed, gently rubbing her bump. “I’m sorry. I know I over-reacted.” Her face was deep in thought, “I know Sam’s just trying to make sure we don’t get hurt.”

“Yeah he is. We all are.” Dean added, pulling up a chair and settling in it. “We’ve lost too many people we care about, good people, good hunters… people we couldn’t protect. But Sammy, he wants to protect you… protect your child and sometimes, that means you don’t get the whole picture.”

Laura nodded again, took a deep breath and exhaled.

“I know that. It’s just hard… I want to be able to understand I guess, even just a little, what you’ve been through. You guys are legendary for a reason and there’s so much I don’t know. But I want too. Just so I know, so I know what’s coming, even if it’s nothing.”

“Well, that’s not for me to tell.” Added Dean, softly.

“No, it’s up to me.” The pair of them looked up at the soft voice coming from the door. Sam stood there, looking almost sad. “I’m sorry, I should have told you everything from the start. When I realised you were going to keep the baby. We discussed it,” He gestured at Dean and at Cas, who had appeared behind him, “but we should have told you too. And I’m sorry, for what I said. I know I shouldn’t have said those things. We all have secrets and I shouldn’t have used how you feel against you. Of course you were afraid. We all were. But you were right, you’ve been more open with me than I have with you. It’s time to change that.” He moved over and sat on the other side of the bed, carefully moving everything clothes and books out of the way.

He took a deep breath, cleared his throat and began.

He told Laura everything. Everything about his mother and Jess and Azazel’s plans for him and his first death. About his father. About Dean’s deal. He told her about the demon blood and Ruby and Lilith. About Cas and the angels. About the apocalypse and being Lucifer’s vessel and his year in the cage. About Crowley. About his soulless-ness and everything that followed. How he saw Lucifer and his mental breakdown. About the leviathans and his attempt at a normal life. About the loss of Bobby and everyone they had ever loved – family or friend. Dean and Cas filled in a few details here and there, elaborating and clarifying.

It felt strange, to be pouring his soul out to someone he’d only known a few months. To tell her everything that had happened. Things that had never been outside the family before. It sounded so unbelievable, when you told it all together. It sounded so fantastical and strange. How did these things keep happening? He wondered if she’d believe him or whether he’d sound like a raging lunatic. He tried not to look at her but he felt her reach out and take his hand, squeezing it gently, especially when the memories were painful.

When he’d finished, he looked up across, waiting for her judgment. Would she be angry? Angry that he’d never told her all of this stuff. Angry that her child might be cursed to suffer too. Would she want nothing more to do with him? Would she forbid him to ever see her and the child? Would she think he was mad? Would she forgive him?

It was probably the stupidest decision he’d ever made, to tell her everything.

But when she looked at him, there was no anger there only grief. She was crying, Sam realised. Thick, endless tears cascading down her face. She couldn’t speak, but she clutched at his hand, gripping it so tightly it was almost painful.   

“I’m sorry,” she said finally, her voice soft. “I’m so sorry.” It seemed like she could hardly get the words out.

“Why are you sorry?” Sam was almost surprised.

“Because… because you’ve been through so much… all of you…” she looked up at them, “Thank you… thank you for protecting us, all of us. Even though we didn’t know.” She broke and sobbed. Her whole body was shaking, her face screwed up in pain and she sobbed violently with nothing by pained noises escaping from her chest. She clutched at the sheets, nearly doubling over as her chest heaved. 

Sam looked at Dean in shock. Out of all the reactions he’d been expecting, this was not one of them. He shuffled across the bed and pulled her into a tight hug, letting her cry into his shoulder.

“You’re not mad?” he asked, quietly.

“Why would I be mad?” she muttered back, eventually, “You stupid bastard. After everything you’ve been through, why would I be mad?”

“Well… because I lied to you, because I hid everything from you. Because it might affect you and the baby.” He voiced his worst fear.

“I mean we don’t know whether anything I’ve done will affect the child. I mean Cas doesn’t think it will but you never know and obviously, there might be ‘people’ who come looking for the child and there’s a chance it could be a vessel and -”

She punched him in the stomach. It was gentle and he laughed.

“You stupid bastard!” she muttered again. “I don’t care. As long as our child is happy and loved I don’t care if it’s different. Besides,” she looked up at him, eyes red and swollen, “it sounds like there’s nothing out there worse than you guys. You’re psycos.” Sam chuckled and pushed a loose strand of hair out of her eyes,

“You’re probably right.”

XXX

The next morning Sam came down to breakfast to find a cheerful Laura dancing around the kitchen in her shorts and Sam’s shirt, trying to make pancakes. He stifled and smile and pulled out his phone and took a picture.

When Laura spotted him she gave an outraged cry and tried to steal his phone, even though he could hold it well out of her reach. He threatened to video her next time and she pelted him with flour.

When Dean appeared, the kitchen looked like a war zone but he said nothing, merely dodging the egg box that was thrown in his direction. He watched as Sam picked Laura up in a fireman’s lift, both of them covered in flour and giggling like four year olds. He smiled.

It looked like his plan had worked.


	8. Why have you got paint on your face?

“What it’s for?”

“I don’t actually know…” Laura stared hard at the tub in her hand and raised her eyebrows, quickly depositing the cream back onto the shelf, “I think it’s for if your nipples start bleeding during breastfeeding…”

“That’s a thing?” Sam raised his eyebrow, contemplating the idea.

“Oh yeah!” Laura sighed and they moved away from the shelf, pushing the brimming shopping cart ahead of her.

They were in a large mother and baby store on the edge of Laura’s hometown, attempting to stock up on baby essentials. Armed with a list they’d made their way to the store in the hope they could get everything in one go – Sam had even forced Dean to lend him the Impala so they could fit flat pack furniture on the back seat.

Still a list and ideas were one thing… actually being in the store was another and finding everything was another matter entirely. They’d already had to order some bits already because they weren’t kept in store. Sam studied the piece of paper in front of him, which was now covered in squiggles and crossings out.

“I think we’ve got everything for now, I’ll get Dean to come back with me next week and grab the last bits of furniture we’ve ordered – they said it should be here on Monday and I can always get anything we’ve forgotten.”

“You’re a lifesaver, my feet are killing me.” Laura paused, appearing to be staring at the tub of baby wipes perched on top of the cart but Sam knew the look on her face well enough but now to know she was worrying about something.

“What’s up?”

“Hmmm… nothing…” she squeezed her lips together thoughtfully, “I’m just wondering where we’re gonna put everything, I mean I don’t even know what I’m doing house wise… I thought Grandma would be back by now…”

Caroline was still a no show, she’d gone on one hunting trip with some old buddies only to return briefly and disappear off again. But she’d left a message two days ago telling Laura to come home because she had some news. That had fitted well with their plans, and with no current jobs to work, the Winchester’s, Cas and Laura had packed up and struck out from the Bunker again. Laura had said the journey would take twice as long as usual because she needed to stop for more bathroom breaks than they were used to and she had been right! Still the drive had been fun and they’d gotten here eventually. Right now they were all hunkered down at Laura’s while she figured out the living situation and where they were going to put some form of nursery.

“It’ll be ok,” Sam added, coming out of his thoughts, “I’m sure she’ll have something planned.” Laura made agreeing noises and nodded. “Give me the trolley, I’ll pay for this. Why don’t you go sit in the car?”

Laura shot him a look that seemed to expressly doubt how Sam might pay for all the stuff they’d acquired, especially because the stuff in the cart itself would probably cost in the region of several hundred dollars.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got it covered.” He added trying to allay her fears and very much hoping that the fraudulent credit card he had in his wallet still worked.

XXX

When they got back they were surprised to see a van parked outside the house and a couple of men they didn’t recognise packing boxes into the back of it. Sam pulled up the Impala quickly and Laura sprung out and started moving, as fast as she physically could, up the path to the front door.

“What the hell is going on? What are you doing?”

“What do you think they’re doing baby? They’re moving boxes.”

Laura squealed with delight as the stocky figure of her Grandma emerged from the house and pulled her into a tight hug.

“Lord look at you,”

“I know, I got so big right?”

“I didn’t say it was a bad thing! Are you sure it’s not twins?”

“Definitely,” Laura laughed and patted her belly, “I had another scan yesterday, it’s just the one! Still can’t tell what it is though. It’s gonna be a surprise.”

“At least it’s one we’re expecting,” Caroline muttered. Laura nodded. No hunter had ever liked surprises – surprises got you killed. “I noticed you left two of the stooges here, where’s number three?”

“He’s just getting some of the stuff out the car, we’ve been shopping.”

On cue Sam appeared juggling a tower of bags and boxes and trying not to drop anything. He declined all manner of help and took everything inside, calling for Dean and Cas to give him a hand and rolling his eyes at Dean’s sarcastic responses. Laura watched as one of the strange men carried another box out of the house and loaded it into the van. Her original concern now voicing itself again now her happiness had abated.

“I don’t understand, why are they moving boxes?” She asked the question, but she already knew some of the response.

“Well baby, I’m moving out.” Answered Caroline, frankly. Laura began to stutter and opened and closed her mouth several times but Caroline held up her hands to signal quiet.

“Now listen to me, this house is gonna be far too small for all of us, especially if the chuckleheads stick around. We just ain’t got room. So, I started looking around and I found a nice little place just up the road for sale. It’s got a couple of bedrooms so I can babysit and I’ll be literally five minutes away,” her tone was straightforward but soothing. She patted Laura’s hand. “And this way, you can have my room and the baby can have yours. Plus, it makes sense for you to stay here – it’s big enough and it’s warded so I know you’ll be safe here and the boys agreed to fix everything up for you.”

Clearly Dean and Cas, and probably Sam as well, had been shoehorned into sorting things out and moving things around. Laura nodded, knowing it was pointless to argue or ask any more questions, but still she couldn’t help the few tears that began to escape.

“Now don’t you dare cry or you’ll start me off. Come on, you can help me get the rest of the stuff packed.” And with that she walked back into the house, leaving Laura standing helplessly on the path.

The next week passed very quickly. Caroline finished moving out and they spent a couple of days helping her get straight and buying her a few bits she needed. The rest of the time, they spent trying to get Laura’s house sorted.

Dean, Cas and Sam set about moving all Laura’s stuff from her old room, which gave her a chance to sort everything out, but as much as she tried to help, she was shooed away continually and was eventually confined downstairs.

“And you are absolutely forbidden,” added Sam, as he placed a stack of books and glass of water, on the coffee table in front of Laura, who was glaring at him mutinously from the sofa. “from coming upstairs without announcing yourself and you are to go nowhere near your old room.”

“Fine,” she growled, “does it have something to do with the paint on your face?”

“No.”

“Liar.”

XXX

A few days later, Laura was pottering around in the kitchen when Sam came downstairs. She was trying to put things away in one of the bottom cupboards but was struggling to bend. Sam watched her for a minute, smiling, until she noticed him and shot a slightly dirty look.

“Would you like a hand?” he said, taking the pan out of her hand and slotting it into the space. She said nothing but rolled her eyes. “We’ve got something to show you if you’ve got a minute?” he added, taking her hands and leading her to the bottom of the stairs.

“Would this have something to do with the fact I’ve hardly been allowed upstairs for the past week?”

“Possibly.”

She laughed and let Sam lead her up the stairs. Dean and Cas were stood on the landing and all the doors were closed.

“Can I see now?”

“No, it’s a surprise. You’ve gotta close your eyes!” answered Dean, taking her outstretched hands in his own and leading her gently to the door of her old room, which he pushed open, leading her to stand in the centre.  

Sam and Cas followed them. Cas slotted inside and Sam leant up against the door, so he could watch the room and hopefully see Laura’s reaction. He wasn’t really superstitious, not anymore, and he didn’t believe in luck but he still found himself crossing his fingers in his pocket. They’d worked so hard for the past few days and he desperately wanted her to like it. 

“Ok, now open them.” He heard Dean say and there was a small gasp from Laura, who clapped her hand to her mouth in surprise.  

It was no wonder really. The room had been totally transformed.

Three of the walls were now a soft grey and the window frame had been scrubbed and re-varnished in a bright white and there were deep blue curtains hung round it. The largest wall, opposite the window, was a deep blue and was covered in hundreds of tiny silver circles, that seemed to glow and shimmer. It was like looking at a perfect representation of the night sky.

There was a white crib in the middle of the star wall, with a little mobile of the moon and stars hung above it and a couple of toy animals tucked in under a star patterned blanket; a little white rabbit, a fluffy grey squirrel, a pale golden giraffe and a large moose. A little family joke. Started by Dean, who’d picked up the moose in a toy store and bought it back to show Sam. He’d retaliated with the squirrel.

On the walls, there were little framed prints and white shelves covered in books, ornaments and a couple of little star nightlights. A square unit filled with carefully labelled boxes and baskets and topped with a changing table. A wardrobe with drawers’ underneath, which when Laura pulled them open, had a selection of clothes in various sizes and pairs of tiny socks. In the corner, there was a nursing chair, angled so she could see through the window and the door. There was also a little basket of toys.

It had taken them nearly the whole week. Days of stripping and scrubbing and painting. The extra bits of shopping – they’d spent an hour in the store arguing over the merits of a star verses jungle theme, and then another hour heatedly discussing the shade of blue they wanted. Then there was the building and the arranging. It had been a total family effort on their part. A gesture of love.

There were hundreds of tiny details Sam knew Laura wouldn’t be able to take in. She gasped and smiled and choked back tears.

“It’s fully warded as well. We’ve done as much as possible under the paintwork and some of it’s in UV but it should keep pretty much everything out. Plus, I’ve put a layer of iron under the window frame and some of salt too.” Dean paused, ““Do you like it?”

Laura hugged him; grabbing him as tightly as possible and squeezing him against her bump and then doing the same to Cas.

“It’s so beautiful! I love it.” She looked around again, “It’s perfect. This is amazing,” she added, gesturing to the star wall. “Who did that?”

“Cas did.”

“I remembered you liked to go and look at the stars when you stayed with us.” Added the angel, blushing slightly. “I’ve plotted all the constellations for the sky here in July. Of course it may be slightly different given on when the child is actually born but-” he was cut off as Laura smushed him into another gigantic hug. Sam chuckled.

“Where’s my hug? I did this too!”

“Yeah – you wined and bitched for a week about getting paint on your hands and getting one splinter.” Dean ducked as Sam picked up the moose out of the crib and chucked it at him.

“How did I get so lucky?” Laura whispered as she released as slightly squished Castiel. “You are all the most amazing people I’ve ever met. I’m the luckiest person in the world.”

Nobody said anything but all three of them blushed slightly and Dean coughed.

XXX

June was ending and it just seemed to get warmer even single day. Laura was glad it was acceptable to just wander around in shorts and vest tops or Sam’s t-shirts, which were big enough to be cool and comfortable. She didn’t think she could even reach her feet to put any socks on anyway. The heat and late stages of pregnancy was making her ankles swollen and uncomfortable. Not that she could see them, she’d lost sight of them a couple of weeks ago; masked by her expanded belly.

She was so tired now. She couldn’t sleep for both the heat, the kicking and the weight. Dr Svanberg reckoned by now she was probably carrying close to 25 to 30 pounds extra. Her skin was stretched and everything was sore, especially her back. This was all making her irritable and moody. Plus, none of her clothes fit. She felt like a beach ball, despite the boy’s instance that she definitely didn’t look like one. She had a sneaking suspicion they were just being nice to her because they didn’t want to provoke her, especially as she was inclined to be snappy.

Her body had never felt less like her own.

And no matter how much those posters in the hospital and the smug looking parental magazines tried to tell her that pregnancy was a gift and a magical experience, she was pretty sure that this was a close to her own personal version of hell as she was ever going to get.

Just another few weeks, she kept telling herself, and then it will all be over. Just get to the 25th July – the final due date given to her by Dr Svanberg. Hopefully, on the 25th July this torment will finally come to an end. 

But alongside this, there was another horror awaiting her: the baby has to come out.

She had tried not to think about giving birth, especially after some of the horror stories she’d heard at the hospital when she’d been training. She’d attended a couple of birthing classes over the past few weeks, even managing to drag Sam along, but it had just made her anxiety worse. Not that she’d admit it. She was a hunter and a doctor and she did not know fear, she repeatedly told herself. I have been through worse and I can do this.

Even though she didn’t quite believe it.

It wasn’t until after one particularly bad session that she realised how scared she was. Some smug mothers had been saying that they viewed using drugs during labour as cheating, that it wasn’t giving birth unless you suffered, the pain was part of the process. Laura walked out. Sam found her sitting in her car, face red and eyes swollen. Anger and fear all over her face. He opened the door and bent down in front of her, taking her hands and looking at her calmly.

“Don’t listen to them,” he said, softly, “you’ve been through more than any of them, you know what pain is really like and that it’s not a good thing to suffer. And I know you’re strong and I know you think you have to be brave and suck it up. But it’s ok if you’re scared, I would be. But I’m so proud of you and if you want an epidural, you have one, and if anyone says anything then I’ll dispose of them.” His voice was calm and airy but there was an edge there that indicated he meant every single word. “And don’t worry, I will never think less of you. You’re going to be doing the equivalent of me pushing a mango out of my nose. I’m definitely not volunteering to do that without pain relief!” He smiled and squeezed her hand. Laura nodded, some of the weight lifting off of shoulders.

XXX

Without realising, Sam, Cas and Dean seemed to have taken up residency in the Holland household but Laura seemed grateful for their company. She never complained about them but instead Sam noticed her face was peppered with smiles as she listened to them bicker over breakfast and laugh at each other’s bad jokes. They seemed to have fallen into some form of unconventional family life but nobody mentioned it because they all knew, deep down, that it probably wouldn’t last. They’d even stopped going out on long hunts, just taking local stuff and always making sure one of them stayed behind to help Laura out.

On the Fourth of July, they ended up having what resembled a family party. The first one any of them could remember having in years.

Dean unearthed a grill out of the back of garage, cleaned it up and fired it up for a barbeque spending the whole day outside preparing and cooking, humming happily. Caroline appeared with two huge homemade apple pies and a crate of beer. Laura drank lemonade and they all had a fight with the hosepipe, ending up drenched from head to toe. They all sat on the decking behind the house, drying in the sunshine. Laura introduced them to her friend Lou, who had shocking blue hair and turned out to be a lawyer. She was funny and made Laura laugh so much lemonade came out of her nose. She took photos of them all, including one of the Winchesters, Cas and Laura all perched on the steps of the decking.

A family photo.

In the evening they set off a crate of fireworks that Dean had acquired, although nobody knew from where, all gasping as they watched the colours burst across the sky and ate apple pie and ice cream. Sam’s eyes lit up as he watched them. He told Laura about the time he and Dean set a whole crate all off at once in a field when he was a kid. He put his arm around her and pulled her in to lean against his shoulder and planted a soft kiss on the side of her head.  

He felt full, warm and relaxed. And happy. For the first time in a long time, he felt truly happy.

XXX

_Thursday 12 th July, 5:06am _

Laura was half asleep when she felt it. A strong cramp surging across her abdomen and along the bottom of her spine. A small hiss escaped her teeth in shock. It felt like period pain. Very bad period pain.

Only right now it definitely couldn’t be period pain.

It didn’t last long, probably only twenty seconds or so. But still it was enough. She’d had the odd painless contraction over the past week or two but they’d been nothing to worry about. But now there was pain and she knew what that meant.

She was in labour.


	9. Bubble Baths and a Baby

Sam woke slowly; bleary eyed and dry mouthed. A half look at the alarm clock on the table next to him confirmed that it was far too early to get up, it was only just past six. He rolled over and reached his arm out to pull Laura close to him. But she wasn’t there and her side of the bed was cold.

Sam pulled himself into a sitting position, rubbing the sleep out his eyes and running his hands through his fluffy bed hair. He assumed she’d probably gotten up already but even so there was a funny feeling in his chest that he couldn’t place. He swung his legs out of bed and pulled on the t-shirt he’d discarded yesterday and a pair of sweatpants that were folded on the corner chair. It had been too hot lately to sleep in more than boxers but Dean always complained if he walked around in just his underwear.

As he stepped out onto the landing he could see a light on under the bathroom door and hear the running of water. His eyebrows crinkled and he tapped gently on the door, hoping he wouldn’t disturb Dean or Cas.

“Laura? Are you ok?”

There was a slight splash from the other side of the door, Sam assumed he’d made her jump, but he could hear a quiet response.

“Sam? It’s open, you can come in.” He took up the invitation and opened the door slightly, sticking his head through the gap and being greeted with a wave of steam.

Laura was sat in the bath tub, which was filled with bubbles and was being topped up with a steaming stream of hot water. She smiled at him and gestured to him to come in.

“It’s a bit early for a bath isn’t it?” Sam joked, closing the door behind him.

Laura nodded and smiled. “Well it helps with the pain,” she grinned at him, “I’m in labour, Sam.”

It took him a moment to process those words and he could feel his face wrinkling and his jaw opening, despite his attempts to keep his face neutral.

“Ok… do you need to go the hospital? Do you want me to call the doctor?”

“No it’s ok,” Laura responded, turning the tap off with her toe and sinking back into the water, “it’s too early yet, I’m just having early contractions.”

Sam nodded, his memory quickly searching for everything he’d read and heard over the past few months. “Are they bad?”

“Not really, just like bad period pain… not that you’d know what that feels like I guess.”

Sam laughed. “Not really. Can I get you anything?”

Laura shook her head, picking up a book from the little ledge on the other side of the bath. “I’m good, but…” she paused, chewing her lip thoughtfully.

“Would you like me to stay?” Sam asked, guessing that that was half the question on her mind. Laura nodded with a half smiled. Sam pulled a couple of towels off the rail and placed them on the floor next to bath to act as little cushion, he doubted it would be comfortable sitting on the floor for very long. He settled himself down resting his back against the tub and turned his head to look at her, noticing the book in her hands.

“What were you reading?”

“Good Omens, have you read it before?” Sam shook his head. He recognised the title but he didn’t think it was one he’d picked up. “I think you’d like it, the angel in it, Aziraphale, reminds me of Cas a little.” Laura passed it over for him to look at.

He opened it and realised there was some sort of character list the start, he scanned his eyes over it and did a double take.

“Crowley? There’s a demon named Crowley in this?”

“Yeah, why?” Her tone was curious, “He’s not such a bad guy actually, for a demon. I think he’s in the dedication too.”

Sam rolled his eyes and muttered to himself under his breath. Trust Crowley to actually get himself into a book. He vaguely remembered something about Crowley’s meatsuit being a former literary agent… maybe that had something to do with it. Either that or he’d seriously underestimated the size of the guy’s ego.  

Still the novel looked fairly interesting, he realised, as he turned it back over to read the cover again. He was lost in thought for a second when he heard a little hiss from behind him. Laura’s eyes were closed and her teeth were gritted.

“You ok?” Sam asked, even though he was pretty sure she wasn’t.

“Yeah fine, just another contraction… they’re only gonna get worse.” Sam squeezed her hand that was resting on the side of the bath.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be here every step of the way.” He said softly, “Have you read much?” he added, turning back to the book in his hands. Laura shook her head. Sam opened it at the beginning, cleared his throat and begun to read,

“It was a nice day. All the days had been nice—”

X

Laura’s contractions continued throughout the day. They stayed in the bathroom for several hours, until the hot water began to run out. Sam helped her dress, rubbing her lower back whenever the contractions came. They were still quite far apart and there was nothing they could do except wait.

Dean insisted Laura have something to eat, to keep her strength up. In fact, he insisted they all ate a large breakfast, because they didn’t know when they’d have to go to the hospital and after that, who knew when they’d get a decent meal again.

Sam checked and re-checked the hospital bag at least a dozen times, making sure they had everything they could possibly need as well as a few extras. He and Dean unpacked the car seat and worked out how to fit it in the Impala, which was difficult at first, but they managed it eventually. It just required a little improvisation.  

The whole house was on edge as the hours crawled past. The contractions increased slowly and Sam could tell they were becoming more intense as the time past, but there was nothing he could do except rub Laura’s back and squeeze her hand.

At about seven that evening Laura’s waters broke. She was very calm, simply pulling herself up from the sofa and saying softly that she was going to take a quick shower and that after that they should probably go to the hospital.

She noticed the panicked looks on everyone’s faces as she moved slowly to the stairs. “Don’t worry, it’s not like the movies, I’m pretty sure we’ve got another couple of hours yet.” She sighed and a tiny flash of fear crossed her face, “I get the feeling I’m in the for the long haul here.”

They arrived at the hospital an hour later, heading straight for the maternity unit. Sam checked her in at the desk, handing over all of Laura’s carefully ordered paperwork as she breathed through another contraction.

A friendly nurse lead them to the room. Sam carefully guided Laura, who refused a wheelchair because, in her words, she wasn’t dying. They settled down to wait for the doctor as the nurse carefully hooked Laura up to a couple of different monitors.

It was a bit cosy with all four of them in the room but Laura had been insistent that Dean and Cas come too, they were family. Sam was grateful, he got the feeling he might need the endless support of his brother more than ever. Dean was currently perched on the edge of the bed, distracting Laura with a Dr Sexy marathon.

Sam excused himself into the corridor to call Caroline, who assured him she would be there as soon as possible.

Dr Svanberg came and checked Laura, chatting softly, as he examined her. Sam stood by the head of the bed and squeezed her hand while the others made themselves scarce.

“You’re about 6cm dilated and you need to be about 10cm to start pushing, so I think you’ve got another couple of hours yet. How’s your pain?” Laura shrugged but didn’t complain.

Over the next few hours the contractions got worse. Sam didn’t know what to do as he watched helplessly as they got stronger and closer together. He hated the intense feeling of powerlessness he felt, he wished desperately there was something he could do. Every time he mentioned pain medication, Laura snapped at him and told him it wasn’t that bad and to mind his own business.

They were the same in some regard; the same as all hunters. They’d been trained to ignore pain, to ignore fear and to carry on regardless. Even if they were scared. And all Laura’s worries and fears were nothing to the years of training and reinforcement she’d suffered at the hands of her father.

True, Sam was used to pain himself… but this… this was unimaginable to him and he hated watching her suffer.

About ten, Laura cracked. He watched it in her face.

The contractions were every minute or two now and lasted nearly a minute each time, every one draining her of a little more energy as her muscles tightened. She was tired already and she hadn’t even started pushing. The pain was more intense with every one that shook her.

“Sam…” she whispered, as a moan of pain escaped her lips. “Sam… please…” He nodded, knowing exactly what that meant. They’d talked about this.

“I’ll go find a doctor.” He said softly, pressing a kiss to her knuckles, “You’re doing so well.”

“I’ll go,” muttered Dean, pulling himself from the chair in the corner and stalking out of the room. He felt as helpless as his baby brother and Sam could read it all over him. Cas was sat quietly in a chair next to him, there was nothing he could do either and there was worry etched in the lines of his face.

Dean returned a minute later, dragging both Dr Svanberg and a woman in scrubs they didn’t know. They examined her and conferred for a minute,

“Well Laura, you’re nearly at 10cm so it won’t be too long now until you need to start pushing and it’s a bit late for an epidural now.” Sam watched as fear shot across Laura’s face,

“Hey, hey it’ll be ok.” He muttered softly, “You’re doing amazingly.”

“But,” the doctor continued, “there is gas and air available for you as pain relief. I’m surprised nobody mentioned it before.” The woman in scrubs showed Laura how to use the machine as Dr Svanberg muttered darkly to himself about incompetent staff before he disappeared with the promise to return soon.

“Should’ve cracked sooner,” muttered Laura through gritted teeth as she lifted the mask to her face and took a few deep, slow breathes of the painkiller.

Sam chuckled and shook his head,

“Told you not to tough it out.” He muttered,

“Sod off.” Laura replied, head sinking into the pillows. “I just want it to be over now.”

“Soon baby,” added Caroline, who was sat on the other side of the bed, “I promise.”

She’d been oddly quiet throughout the evening and Sam realised that she was nervous, maybe more than any of them.

The doctor returned ten minutes later and checked Laura again as well as the machines, watched as her contractions spiked across the screen.

“Good, good. Laura,” he looked at her, speaking clearly, “I think we can start pushing.”

X

The clock in the hallway read 12.02am and not for the first-time Dean stared at it angrily as he stalked up and down the corridor, retracing the path he had stomped up and down for the past two hours.

He and Cas were outside the delivery room now and all he could hear was muffled voices and Laura’s moans and whimpers of pain. There was even the occasional small scream. But there was nothing he or Cas could do except wait.

He was a bundle of nervous energy, twitching and bouncing and snarling at any of the nurses who asked him if he was ok. Cas sat on one of the nearby plastic seats, his hands folded in his lap as he stared helplessly into space.

They were alone and worried but all they could do was wait.

On the other side of the door, Sam felt the same and part of him wished his brother was here, just to offer a tiny bit of comfort.  

Laura was exhausted. Her face was pink and covered in sweat and she’d sworn at Sam more times in the past two hours than in the past nine months. That was usual, the doctor had said, and he should just ignore it. It was just Laura venting. And Sam understood, he really did. Although quite why Laura felt she needed to call him a massive dickbag and blame him, repeatedly, for the whiskey that Dean had bought her in the bar – which Laura was insisting had caused this all in the first place – was beyond him.

His hands were battered where Laura gripped them tightly and squeezed every time her body pushed. But Sam hadn’t noticed, he was too in awe of her. Instead he encouraged her softly, telling her over and over how well she was doing, how amazing she was and how proud he was.

“Sam…” she said, breathlessly, her voice strained and tremoring with exhaustion, after another rigorous contraction and push. “I can’t do it Sam… I can’t… I’m so tired… I can’t.” There was a little sob there too.

“Yes you can, yes you can.” He answered, kissing her knuckles again and again. “I know you can do it. You’ve got this.”

“C’mon baby, you can do this.” Added Caroline, “I’ve never seen you give up and you’re damn well not starting now!” Laura nodded as the urge to push overtook her and wracked her body.

“Very good Laura,” said Dr Svanberg, his voice calm and measured. “I can see baby’s head. You’re nearly there. A couple more pushes should do it, I just need you breathe for me and just slow down so we can get baby out safely.”

And she did. Sam squeezed her hand tightly, encouraging her over and over until… a high-pitched cry pierced the air.

“Congratulations.”

Laura relaxed, her body exhausted as the doctor carefully lifted the small, bloody figure up for them to see.

“You have a little girl.”

_You have a little girl…_ those words shook Sam down to his very core. Who’d have thought five little words could change his life so much? He squeezed his eyes tight and rested his head against Laura’s, pressing a kiss onto her forehead.

“I’m so proud of you.” He whispered, trying and failing to keep his voice steady. “We have a little girl.” Laura nodded and sighed.

Dr Svanberg carefully wiped her down and wrapped her up, gently placing her in Laura’s arms.

“Hey… hello there… hello my love…” she said softly, cradling the tiny figure in her arms, “it’s so nice to meet you.” She turned to Sam, who was gazing down on the wrinkled face of his tiny daughter, “Isn’t she perfect?”

Sam nodded. Words were lost to him.

He moved in a daze. The doctor asked him if he wanted to cut the cord and he nodded. The nurse took their tiny daughter and weighed her, noting down her time and date of birth and her weight. He and Laura chuckled slightly when she read them out.

“Friday 13th July, 12.13am and 6 pounds, 6 ounces. Not bad considering she’s a couple of weeks early.”

“Well those are wonderful omens!” Muttered Caroline with a smile, kissing her granddaughter’s forehead. “You did amazingly baby.”

They wrapped her back up in a blanket and went to pass her back to Laura but she shook her head,

“No, give her to her father. Sam, you ready?”

Sam snapped out his daze as the nurse handed him the little bundle. He looked down on the face of his daughter, drinking in every detail from her tiny nose and cluster of eyelashes around her baby blue eyes that were gazing up at him, to the tufts of dark hair and the little fingers poking over the top of the blanket. He wanted to watch her forever. She wriggled slightly and he smiled.

For months, he’d stared over and over at her ultrasound photo and now here she was in the flesh… the most precious being in the universe. All he could feel was an overwhelming rush of love, it swept over him and engulfed every molecule of his being. He knew that from this moment his heart totally belonged to this tiny, little girl… his daughter. And he realised that he would do anything to protect her, keep her safe and make her happy. He pressed his lips gently against her skin, sealing his silent promise with a kiss.

“Sam?” Laura’s soft voice interrupted his thoughts, “Sam? You should take her to meet your family.”

Caroline nodded at him from her seat and the nurse opened the door.

Sam stepped out into the corridor, clutching the blanketed bundle in his arms. Dean stopped his pacing and spun around, Cas looked up from his seat.

“Dean, Cas… I’d like you to meet my daughter.”

The look on their faces was one he would treasure forever.

X

“Have you got any ideas for names?” asked the nurse, as she prepared to take their daughter to the nursery. “Is there anything you want me to put her down as?”

“We haven’t really talked about it,” replied Sam, who was perched on the edge of the bed, “we weren’t sure what we were getting.”

“That’s ok, we’ll just pop her down as Baby Holland for now.”

“No.” said Laura, “Not Holland. Winchester. Baby Winchester please.”

“Like the rifle?” asked the nurse, scribbling on her chart. Laura made an affirmative noise, but she was looking at Sam who had his eyebrows raised.

“Are you sure?” he asked. He could think of a million reasons why his daughter shouldn’t be a Winchester. Firstly, he wasn’t even sure he could his name down as Winchester on her birth certificate. Secondly, well where did he start? “I’m really not sure if that’s a good idea.” He added, glancing at Dean who was making agreeing faces at him.

“Well I am. She’s as much mine as she is yours.” Laura smiled at him softly, “She’s a Winchester Sam.”

Sam said nothing but he smiled. He leant down and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips.

“Thank you.”


	10. Names, Pumpkins and Christmas Jumpers

“How about Anna?”

It was three days since Baby Winchester had entered the world and turned their lives upside down. Three days and she still didn’t have a proper name – she was still just ‘the baby’ or ‘B’ for short – a tiny, pink bundle of adorable hell.

Laura was stretched out on the sofa, nursing, in the vague hope that it might encourage a little bit of peace and quiet and there was the eternal optimism that she might sleep too. Not that she didn’t do that already… just not when they wanted her too. Sam was perched on the other end, Laura’ feet on his lap, staring into space ahead of him.

“Sam? Earth to Sam?” Laura asked again, reaching for a burping rag and nudging him gently with her foot. “How about Anna?”

“No!” came the snarky response from the kitchen and Dean stuck his head round the door, “Definitely not.”

“Reason please.”

“She tried to kill me and Sam.”

This was apparently a good enough explanation because his face disappeared and all that could heard was dark mutterings and the clattering of pots and pans. Since they’d returned home, Dean had been acting like some sort of mother hen, feeding them all constantly and helping as much as physically possible. Laura sighed and nudged Sam again, who stared at her blankly.

“Yeah she did, and then she went back in time to try and kill our parents too… oh and Dean slept with her too.”

“Maybe you and Dean could provide me with a list of everyone you’ve both slept with, worked with and killed so that we can just veto all of those.” She rubbed her eyes and looked down at the little bundle in her arms, muttering softly to her and she lifted her gently up and began rubbing her back.

“Might be a long list, especially from Dean.” Sam chuckled, taking his baby daughter and the rag, heaving himself off the sofa. “But I know what you mean, we need to think of something, she can’t be baby forever.”

His muscles ached and he couldn’t remember the last time he’d been this tired. How can something so little cause so much trouble, he mused as he watched her giant eyes fluttering. Each name that ran through his head just didn’t fit or reminded him of something or someone and every time he looked at his daughter he didn’t want to think of someone he’d let down, who died bloodied and battered for the cause.

Besides there were other considerations too. They’d already decided that it should be simple. They didn’t want a name that would draw attention to her, especially as Laura was still insistent that she be a Winchester, something that was worrying Sam more and more. What if someone recognised her surname and realised she was connected to him and Dean?

Her face was peaceful, eyes fluttering closed and her chest rising and falling rhythmically as she lay snuggled in his arms. Sam knew he ought to go put her down to sleep but he wanted this, wanted as many memories of her laying in his arms as possible. He couldn’t take his eyes off her, every time he looked at her there were new tiny details he found to absorb. To him, she was utterly and totally perfect. He cuddled her close, pressing a little kiss to her soft skin, breathing in her baby smell – which was slightly addictive. The little tufts of hair she did have were already very dark, like her mother’s.

For the first time, he slightly wished his mother was here. Out of everything that had happened to him this was the one thing he wanted to be able to share with her. Not just her… Bobby too and his own father. He wondered what Jo and Ellen would have made of this too...what anyone he’d known well would have thought. Laura had muttered something along the same lines the night before while staring wistfully at the old family photo that now lived on the book case, next to the one that had taken of them all on the Fourth of July.

He was lost in his thoughts, gazing happily at his daughter when the idea hit him. It seemed to have snuck up on him but it was so perfect he wondered where it had been all along.

“Emily.” The name slipped softly from his lips and the little bundle wriggled slightly, lips opening in a tiny yawn.

“Emily.” He announced, louder this time, turning back to face to room as a smile crept across his face.

Laura looked up at him, face pale and eyes wide. “But… but that’s… that’s-”

“Your mother’s name, I know.” He sunk softly onto the sofa next to her as she scrambled into a seated position.

“But I thought you didn’t want dead people’s names?”

“I didn’t, but this is different.” He smiled at her. “And it just feels right to me.”

Laura nodded with a shaky smile, “Emily Mary Winchester.”

Sam can hear the catch in his own breath as she says this. He’d never said about using Mary’s name, he can’t even remember when he told Laura her name.

“Your mother was Mary right?” Sam nods his head a little, “she ought to have both. Emily Mary Winchester. You’re right, it feels…right.”

It does, all together, it sounds perfect. But there’s still a nagging doubt in his mind.

“I’m still not sure about Winchester.” The words feel heavy on his tongue. He wants his daughter to be a Winchester, more than anything, but he knows how cursed that name is. “It’s so dangerous for her to have my name, I don’t want people to use her against me. I don’t want her to get hurt.” The words are quiet, he can barely get them out, he doesn’t want to think about what could happen to her because of him. There’s a gentle squeeze of a hand on his thigh.

“Sam,” Laura’s voice is soft and calming, “she’s going to be a Winchester. I want her to be.” Sam opens his mouth to argue with her but the look she shoots him forces the words down. “Sam, sweetie, if anything happens it won’t be because of her name. Winchester isn’t the most unusual surname in the world and if anyone finds her, finds us, it won’t be because of that it will be because of you.”

The words are gentle, but they feel like a knife in his heart.

“It will be because someone sees her or me with you or Dean or Cas - because they follow you or hunt you. And guess what? I knew that and so did you. And you made the choice to stick around because you wanted to be her father even though we both knew how dangerous that might be and you know what? I don’t care. Because I can protect her and so can you. So, she’s going to be Winchester and you won’t convince me otherwise. Case closed.”

Sam feels her pat his leg in a final sought of way and knows it’s no use arguing.

xxx

 

**2 Months**

Sam goes back to hunting when Emily is two months old. Dean and Cas collect him having started back several weeks before. There is just too much to do, too many cases and everything looms large in the back of their minds.

With a heavy heart he packs up his bags and snuggles his daughter close, taking in one last breathe of her sweet smell. His phone is full of photos and videos, ones of her very first real smile that happened only a couple of weeks ago. Ever since then he’s being trying to get her to do it over and over again so he can capture it.

He wonders when he went so soft and Dean teases him about it. Mind you, not that he’s any better. As soon as he arrives he sweeps his niece up and spends the next hour cuddling her and humming _Smoke on the Water_. He was always good with kids, but around Emily, Dean transforms into nothing but pure marshmallow fluff.  

Even Cas is getting better with her. They wondered at first, how much interaction Cas had actually had with real babies but after a while he begins to take to it. They all have, slowly.

“You promise you’re going to be ok?” Sam asks again, as he pushes his bags into the trunk of the Impala. “Are you absolutely sure?”

Laura raises an exhausted eyebrow at him.

“Sam, I’m marked up and you’ve seen exactly what’s in my bedside cabinet and the shed. We’ll be just fine.”

“I really don’t want to know.” Mutters Dean, coming up behind them. Laura laughs.

“Just go, all of you. Stay safe and come back soon.” She takes Emily’s hand and waves it gently at Sam as he gets in the car. “Bye bye Daddy. We love you.”

Sam waves back and it’s not until a couple hours later that he starts to process the three little words that Laura said.

 

**3 months**

It’s not quite Halloween and everything has been virtually non-stop since they left. They’re currently winding their way towards Vermont for yet another case when Sam’s phone pings happily. He’s happy that he upgraded it recently, at least so Laura can bombard him with pictures of their daughter via email and text. She seems to delight in sending him every little detail, which Sam will admit he secretly loves.

Today it’s a picture of his infant daughter dressed in an orange onesie with a Jack-O-Lantern face on the belly and white and orange striped feet. She’s smiling happily in the car seat.

He laughs and shows the photo to Cas in the back, and quickly to Dean. 

“Why is your daughter dressed as a pumpkin?” asks Cas, taking Sam’s phone to have another look at the photo.

“Awww c’mon Cas, why does it matter? She’s freakin’ adorable!” adds Dean, “Maybe we should get you a matching one?” he teases, smirking at Sam.

“Don’t you dare! Anyway, you might get your wish, Laura’s been muttering about getting matching Christmas jumpers.” Sam adds, sighing and running his hands through his hair wondering when exactly family Christmas jumpers became a concern. Dean laughs, tapping his hand on the wheel.

“I’ve got to get a picture of that!”

“You do realise she’s including you in this equation. She means jumpers for all of us!”

“Bring it on, you know I’ll look adorable!”

Sam’s phone rings loudly, cutting them off before they can get any further.

“Hey Laura, is everything-”

“Sam, Sam! Listen, listen she’s laughing!” Laura’s voice is bubbling over with excitement and Sam quickly turns the volume on his phone up to maximum as he hears it for the first time. The happy giggling of his daughter.

He flicks the speaker button on his phone and simultaneously mutes the radio, and the laughter reverberates around the inside of the Impala. He stares wide eyed at Dean, who smiles at him.

“Well that’s infectious.” He adds, “first time she’s done that right?”

“Yeah it is,” comes Laura’s voice, sounding slightly distant and tinny. “Hang on I’m gonna try and get her to do it again.” The giggling, begins in earnest again and carries on for another couple of minutes when it’s suddenly replaced with grizzling, crying noises.

“Oh dear, hang on we’re getting waterworks.” Sam hears her put the phone down followed by soft soothing noises. “I’m gonna have to go Sam, I think she needs changing. I’ll speak to you soon?”

“Yeah, we should be at motel in a couple of hours, I’ll call you then.”

“Great, safe drive.”

The line goes dead and Sam sighs, wishing he’d thought to record the sound of Emily laughing so he could listen back to it later. He pulls the newspaper the found the case in out and begins to re-read the article again as the Impala trundles on.

On Halloween he gets another picture. This time Emily’s wearing bee costume, complete with a tiny hairband, and the attached message reads: _I remembered Cas likes bees and I saw this in the store and couldn’t resist. Keep safe. We love you._

He shows Dean and Cas the picture but not the message and they spend the rest of the day debating potential Halloween costumes for future treat or treating adventures. Dean immediately suggests Star Wars, especially because he thinks Sam would make a good Wookie. Sam smiles and watches his brother start to plan costumes and marvels at how much difference Emily seems to be making already.

**5 months**

The snow is lying quite thickly by the time they get to Christmas. Laura insists they all come for the holidays and Sam is surprised to find that Dean is as excited as he is. By the time they all arrive, nearly two weeks before the actual day, Dean is in more of a holiday spirit than Sam has ever seen him. He sweeps Emily up as soon as he sees her and dances round the living room singing Christmas songs to her and Sam remembers again just how good he is with kids.

Dean ropes Sam into decorating the house, buying extra lights to string up round the outside and acquiring a Christmas tree that barely fits into the living room. Once they’ve finished they’re all feeling more festive than ever and the house smells’ deliciously of the gingerbread men that are now cooling on the kitchen side.

Laura ropes them into taking another photo together, forcing them all into Christmas jumpers (thankfully not matching ones) and threatening them all with death and destruction if they don’t comply. Not that any of them take it seriously for long and after one or two nice ones, they somehow all end up pulling faces and it quickly descends into a farce.

While she’s dressed nicely, they sit Emily on the sofa and take some pretty photos of her. She’s learning to sit up against the cushions unaided and she looks so gorgeous in her Christmas dress and a cheeky smile that Sam can’t help but taking nearly a hundred photos of her. He swoops her up afterwards to kiss her and notices for the first time that her eyes are changing. Gone are the baby blues to be replaced with Winchester green. They’re the same shape as his too and surrounded by a mass of dark eyelashes.

“She’s got your eyes.” Laura says, stepping up to him and watching his face. He nods, a sweet smile crossing his lips.

“Winchester eyes.” Sam adds, softly.

“Well she’s definitely your daughter,” Laura chuckles, standing on tip toe to kiss the back of her daughter’s head. “I don’t know anyone else with eyes like that.”

“Unless you slept with Dean.” They both laugh at the indignant comments that are Dean’s response.

Christmas day is small but perfect. It’s just them and Caroline, who appears in the morning carrying a giant gingerbread house. Nobody has much money for presents but somehow Emily has ended up with a mountain of them but she’s more interested in the wrapping paper and cardboard than anything else.

They eat a mountain of food and have a snowball fight, which turns out to be an epic fail because three hunters and an angel makes for more of an all-out snowball war rather than a fun break. It ends two hours later when they’re all soaked to the skin and frozen stiff and they traipse inside to watch a Lord of the Rings marathon and pull apart the gingerbread house. Laura falls asleep an hour in and Sam isn’t far behind her. Caroline rests a sleeping Emily, in her Christmas onesie, in the middle and takes a sneaky photo, which Dean instantly copies. He then amuses himself by stacking sweets from the remains of the gingerbread house on Sam’s face, seeing how many he can pile up before his brother wakes up and notices.

The answer is fifteen.

 

**6 months**

The week Emily is six months old, the boys all turn up unannounced saying they all needed a break and they were in the area. Laura doesn’t question it, despite the fact they’ve only been gone a week, because truthfully the house was too quiet after the chaos of Christmas and New Year and she misses them all terribly.

Sam is on edge and he spends each day carefully checking the warding on the house, combing slowly through every room, laying extra salt round each window and triple checking the placement of demon traps. He opens the shed up and retrieves a stack of weapons and uses one afternoon to take everything apart, cleaning each gun meticulously and sharpening each blade, even though Laura has been taking care of them - just in case.

Laura gets more and more confused as the week goes on and Sam becomes increasingly snappy and tense. They fight one afternoon, when she tries to probe him and he storms off, saying he’s fine but going back to his routine of examining the house for weaknesses.

Laura sits on the sofa, watching Emily on her baby mat, wondering what on earth is going on when Dean joins her.

“Do you know what’s going on?” she asks exasperatedly, “Why the hell is he so jumpy?”

Dean looks at her and she’s never seen the expression on his face before. He looks overwhelmingly sad and gently he begins to explain about exactly what happened when Sam was six months old. He scoops Emily up and bounces her gently, listening to her giggle.

“He knows it won’t happen… I killed yellow eyes years ago… but he’s still nervous. After what happened to Mom and then to Jess…” Dean’s voice is soft and slightly thick, “he doesn’t want to lose you… either of you. You’re part of the family now and he can’t bear the thought of anything happening to either of you. He’s just, taking precautions.”

After that, Laura doesn’t bring it up again. She apologies quietly and Sam nods, squeezing her gently.

The night before the thirteenth, Sam doesn’t sleep. He sets up a travel cot for Emily in their room. When they go to bed, Sam locks the door, spreading extra salt and goofer dust round the door and windows. He spends the night in a chair in the corner with a gun in his lap and a bottle of holy water by his side. Watching and waiting.

Nothing happens but he does it the next night too. He spends the rest of the next day asleep and emerges in a better mood, clearly relieved that the marker has passed without incident.

In fact, for all Sam’s pessimism nothing bad has happened to either Laura or Emily.

And nothing does, until a couple of months later.

 

**8 Months**

It’s March but there’s still a chilly nip in the air and winter seems to resist giving way to spring, but one morning the sky is clearer and the sun shines clearly for the first time in a while.

Laura scooped Emily up, wrapping her up warm against the wind and takes her out to the park to see the ducks on the pond. Sarah’s already there, pushing her pram in front of her, waving as soon as she sees Laura.

They met before Christmas, when Sarah introduced herself at one of the mother and baby groups that Laura’s been attending in an attempt to meet a few other local mothers. She has a three-month-old son called Charlie, who must be wrapped up under layers of blankets because Laura can barely see his chubby face.

They talk easily about the trials and tribulations of parenthood, as Sarah bemoans that Charlie is refusing to sleep through the night, in fact refusing to sleep for more than a couple of hours at a time. It probably explains that haggard look on Sarah’s face as she bends down to gently boop Emily on the nose, chatting away to her softly. 

Laura leans over Sarah’s pram to get a sneaky look at Charlie; he’s a gorgeous little boy usually, even if he is often crying. But there’s nothing there but a pile of blankets wrapped around a doll. She turns to Sarah with shock on her face but sees nothing except a flash of black eyes and feels a thumping pain in the back of her head that sends her spinning as the word _demon_ echoes around her mind.

Laura senses her consciousness slipping away and tries to call out, but nothing can escape her lips.

She wakes to somebody gently shaking her arm, asking if she can hear him and she tries to sit up quickly, head pounding and eyes flashing open, gazing around and seeing nothing but a small crowd of people that have gathered around her.

“Where’s my daughter?” she stammers, pushing the words out of her aching lungs. “Where is she?”

But nobody knows and there are no signs of Sarah, Emily or the pushchair.


	11. Scalpels and Holy Saline

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Okay folks, this chapter has some descriptions of torture. I've tried to keep it not too descriptive but please be aware of it. I don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable.

Laura paced round and round the dingy, empty space, snarling and lashing out at everything close to her. She screamed in frustration, upending an old table covered in rusted paint cans, which splattered dark liquid across the concrete floor, before returning to prowl up and down. Her eyes scanned every nook and cranny of the warehouse, searching for any sign that the demons had been here. That Emily had been here.

A rat scuttled along the wall. Laura whipped round and unloaded two bullets into it before it could make it to the other end.

It was like watching a tiger in cage. A tiger pushed to the very edge. One that, at any second, could snap and rip you to pieces without a second thought. Perhaps, Sam mused, wordlessly, he should have been more insistent that she shouldn’t carry a gun. Although, in her current state, he realised he probably would have been shot on site for suggesting it. He made no sound, shooting off a quick text to Dean to let him know they’d hit another dead end.

It had been twelve hours since Emily had been taken by the demons and they had no leads.

When Laura had first called Sam to tell him, she had been calm and collected but as soon as they’d arrived a few hours later, she had fallen to pieces. She had sobbed and howled as she recalled the incident, heaping blame upon herself for not doing more. For not recognising the threat. Her tears had gradually been replaced by a white-hot anger, that sparked and radiated from her as Sam tried to calm her. Not that he was calm. He was full of sadness and rage and wanted nothing more than to slowly and painfully carve the sons of bitches who’d dared to touch his daughter into a million pieces. But he had to remain level headed, at least for now. Especially while Laura rampaged around their living room threatening to rain death and destruction down on those involved and cursing the incompetence of local law enforcement.

True, the police were supposedly on the case, tracking demon Sarah’s movements through the park’s security cameras until she disappeared. But they hadn’t got much else and all they could do was make fake sounding reassurances that if she’d been kidnapped, there would certainly be a ransom call.

Except demons didn’t work like that.

So, while the local detectives poured over security cameras and muttered about calling the FBI, the Winchesters, Laura and Cas it was time to roll up their sleeves and do it themselves. Because all they needed at this point were **actual** federal agents getting involved!

Sam busied himself with his laptop, searching relentlessly for any signs of demons, fuelling himself with double expressos, while Laura emptied the shed – sorting and cleaning any and all available weaponry, muttering darkly to herself before packing and re-packing anything that might be useful.

Dean and Cas had been a steadfast presence throughout all of this. True, they were both agitated and anxious, Dean certainly had paced up and down, polishing Ruby’s knife and snapping at Sam to work faster. Cas meanwhile, had begun to work through things himself, not saying much but coming and going as he needed.

They’d agreed to spilt up, it would work better that way. Dean and Cas had taken Baby and shot off in one direction, while Sam and Laura took her car in the other. Dean had left them the knife, and once Sam had explained it to Laura, a wicked smile crossed her lips and a merciless twinkle lit up in her eyes. She had less experience in dealing with demons, well most hunters did, so she listened carefully as Sam explained as much as he could as they sped along, ignoring all forms of speed limits.

But it had all been a bust. The first location Dean and Cas had hit was a total miss and so were the two that Laura and Sam had found. Nothing but empty buildings on deserted lots, filled with rusting machinery and the scuttling sound of rats.

The tension in the air was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Laura snapped sharply at everything Sam said and it took everything in him not to retaliate. The lingering thought that kept circling around and around in his mind was why did everything he touched end in blood and destruction?

The sound of Sam’s phone broke the tension, the harsh sound echoing off the metal walls. He briefly noticed Dean’s name on the screen as he pulled it out of his pocket, keeping one eye on the still prowling Laura as he answered.

“Hey Sam,” there was a note of malevolent glee in Dean’s voice, “we got one!”

xxx

The demon was bound tightly to the chair in the middle of the devil’s trap spray painted on the floor of the warehouse. There was a piece of thick tape across its mouth. Apparently, it hadn’t quite realised the predicament it was in or who it was dealing with. The vessel it was wearing was the warehouse manager, who’d had the misfortune to choose today of all days to do his monthly check up on the empty units.

“Caught it skulking round the outside,” muttered Dean, filling in Laura and Sam, “says he doesn’t know what I’m talking about. Stupid bastard kept running his mouth off so we put a stop to that. Cas is trying to trace the others. They fled as soon as they saw us.”

There was a set look on Laura’s face as she listened to the eldest Winchester. She appeared emotionless. When Dean had finished, he turned to Sam to discuss their next move and the two of them began plotting quietly, their heads close together as they moved away to the other end of the warehouse. Occasionally they shot a quick look at Laura, who was still staring expressionlessly at the figure in the chair.

“Well what do you want to do?” muttered Dean. His voice was low but it was still loud enough for everyone to hear. He was giving Sam the decision-making power here – whatever they did next, it was going to be Sam’s choice. He watched the turmoil roll across his little brother’s face.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Laura’s voice cut through the silence before Sam could answer. She turned to face the brothers with a wicked smile twisting across her lips and a malicious glint in her eye. “We’re going to torture it out of him.”

They stared at her, neither saying anything, even though Laura had just stated their normal course of action.

“Oh, come on!” she snarled, “It’s the obvious solution. Besides, I know that’s what you usually do anyway. I’m not a fucking idiot!”

“Laura…” Sam’s voice was hesitant and quiet, “are you sure? It wouldn’t be…pleasant.”

She rolled her eyes at him, her expression dripping with distain. “Oh yeah, because I’m _so_ squeamish. Are you actually forgetting what I’m trained to do? Or what I’ve done before?” she closed the gap between them, fury lighting up her face, “stop trying to protect me… please… I know what I’m doing… and so do you.” She stared at him, as if daring him to contradict her. “Besides, it’s not my first rodeo.”

Sam said nothing but shot Dean a slightly pleading look, willing his older brother to intervene, but Dean shook his head.

“Sorry Sam, I’m not interfering. If she wants to be a part of this, that’s her choice.”

Laura shot Sam a victorious smirk and headed out of the warehouse to grab her bag out of the car. As soon as she was out of earshot, and sight, Sam rounded on his brother.

“What the hell Dean? She can’t be involved in this, she’s too close to it. You know that!”

“Calm down Sam,” his brother retorted, “and stop babying her. You know as well as I do that she is not going to sit on her ass and do nothing. I know you want to protect her but this too much. And don’t give me that crap about being too close to it – how many times have you and I done this?”

Sam said nothing for a second but sighed deeply, forcing the words “a lot” out of his mouth.

“Exactly, and how many of those times were we ‘too close’? How many times have we tortured demons because one of us or someone we love was in danger and we wanted to protect them?”

“Fine.” Sam snapped. “You made your point.”

“Damn straight.” Dean dropped his voice before he continued, “Besides I am not arguing with your girlfriend, she scares me!”

“She’s not…” Sam paused, this was not the time or the place to correct Dean or to try and figure out what Laura was to him. Mother of his child just sounded like they didn’t really know each other but girlfriend… that was a different. Dean shot him a quizzical look but Sam was spared any further conversation on the subject as Laura returned hefting her dark medical bag.

There was a battered workbench off to one side and Laura placed the bag on it, pulling it open and carefully lifting a variety of surgical instruments, still in the packaging, along with a couple of dishes and a large, sealed jar of clear liquid. She began pulling various packets open, lining up scalpels, surgical scissors, forceps and a variety of needles and syringes.

“This all looks very sanitary.” Muttered Dean, a joking note in his voice. 

“Hey, I still have standards, even when it comes to torture.” Came the sarcastic reply, “Anyway this is how it all comes when I order it or at least when a buddy of mine does.”

Dean chuckled, picking up the jar. “Holy water?”

“Technically it’s holy saline solution. I’ve got some IV tubing and a catheter somewhere as well, if you want to pump him full of the stuff, and I’ve got another couple of packs in the car. Should work quite nicely…” Dean stared at her, but she ignored him and continued to unpack and sort the medical equipment. “By the way, how much do you care about the vessel?”

The brothers exchanged dark looks with each other. There was a time, long ago, when they’d cared more about the people who’d been possessed but now… Besides these were different circumstances… these bastards had taken something precious and they deserved to pay.

“I didn’t think so…” Laura mused quietly.

“What do you mean?” asked Sam, slowly.

“If you cared you’d have actively objected by now… don’t worry Sam, I won’t think less of you. Just… just don’t think less of me.” She looked across at him with a slightly anxious look, mixed in with the bloodlust.

“I won’t.” he added. They knew too much about each other, they’d come too far to start judging each other about torturing demons, especially ones who’d really picked the wrong family to mess with.

“Excellent, shall we get started?” 

xxx

The demon hissed as Sam ripped the tape off its mouth, a cocky smile sliding across its lips as it flexed the jaw of its vessel.

“Ahhhh that’s better, now we can talk.” it’s voice dripped with sarcasm, “as least I assume that’s what you want to do? You want me to tell you where we took that sweet, innocent baby girl? She looked so delicious!”

“Shut up!” snapped Sam, “Do you know who we are?”

“The Winchester’s,” the demon rolled his eyes, “you must think I’m an idiot.”

“Well obviously, you are because you picked the wrong people to mess with.” Snarled Dean.

“You really aren’t as worrisome as you seem to think _Dean_ ,” the demon’s voice was relaxed, he seemed very unbothered by his current predicament, “besides I’m more interested in your delightful companion. Who is this? It’s _Laura Holland_ isn’t it? The hunting whore…”

“Oh darling, if only you knew.” Laura’s voice was soft, almost sweet, “If only you knew just what this hunting whore could do to you.” She picked up the jar and unscrewed it, gently placing several of the scalpels into the solution. “You see I may be a whore and I may be a hunter, but I’m also that little girl’s mother and I’m a doctor too, so I know just how to make you squirm. I can take you apart piece by piece, slowly and agonisingly and in every little way I know will hurt most and the best part? The best part is that I can keep you there… so you can say whatever you want now, but I promise you this… sooner or later, and I really hope it’s later, you will tell us exactly what we want to know… understand?”

The demon laughed. “Bite me bitch!”

Laura chuckled, a dark and merciless smile crossing her face. She reached into the jar and pulled out a scalpel, watching the drops of holy saline solution drip slowly off the blade.

“I was hoping you’d say that.”

xxx

In the two hours that followed Sam saw more of Laura than he’d ever seen and quite frankly it terrified him and that was saying something. She was so relaxed about the whole thing, in fact she almost seemed to relish it as she casually ignored any screaming and violent insults to carefully and meticulously split the man’s skin open with surgical precision, revealing the muscles and nerves and pumping vessels underneath. She’d almost laughed when the demon tried to dredge up information from her past, leering into her mind and hurling the information at her through gritted teeth. She’d simply thrown it back or ignored it, just asking where they’d taken her daughter, the one question the demon simply refused to answer.

The brothers could do nothing but watch. Sam felt a little sick. He and Dean tended to go less for style and more for impact. Laura… well, she was very different. At one point, Dean had gently tried to intervene, but Laura had lightly pushed him away and given him a soft, motherly smile. “It’s okay Dean, don’t worry I’m fine. You and Sam just relax, I think there’s some beer in the trunk of the car. Thank you for your consideration though.” And she’d patted him gently on the chest to send him on his way.

“Yeah, I’m saying it again,” Dean had muttered to his brother, “she scares the shit outta me!”

Currently, there was blood pooling on the floor around the chair, dripping slowly off the demon’s skin. It was currently quiet, being pumped full of the holy saline solution through a makeshift IV that they’d rigged up. Laura was currently cleaning blood off her hands, in a calm and methodical manner. It took Sam a moment to realise she was humming quietly to herself.

“Are you ok?” he asked quietly, moving over to stand next to her. He tried not to let his concern, or fear, show on his face. She turned, pausing to fix him with a luminous smile.

“Of course I am! Are you? I’m sorry this is taking so long, I thought he would give up by now.” She sighed and shrugged, “Oh well… did you guys have a beer? I packed you guys some snacks too, I’m so used to packing everything up when I go out with Emily. There’s a bag in my car with some chips in and some cookies. Oh, and I put a bag of dried fruit and nuts and some rice cakes in there for you, I know you prefer healthier snacks!” she smiled again, as if this was the most normal conversation to have in the world.

“Thanks,” Sam muttered, “that’s very… sweet of you. I’ll go have a look, but I’m not sure I’m that hungry right now.”

“No worries.” she added cheerfully, resuming her cleaning. “Just make sure you eat something soon, Dean too, it’s been a while since we last ate and I don’t want anyone’s blood sugar dropping.” she called after him as he walked out towards where their cars were parked.

Dean was leaning up against the Impala, sipping a beer as Sam approached.

“Are you hiding Dean?”

“Nope, just enjoying my beer as instructed. What about you?”

“Apparently,” Sam replied, rooting around in Laura’s car until he found the bag she’d mentioned, “she packed us snacks.” He pulled out an assortment of packets and tubs, laying them out on the roof of the Impala, opening one of the tubs to find not only rice cakes, but peanut butter and apple slices too.  

“Awesome!” Dean grabbed the nearest bag of chips and pulled it open, taking a handful while casually eyeing up the nearest packet of cookies. “I have to say,” he added, in between mouthfuls, “she may be crazy right now, but she’s pretty cool. I can’t believe she remembered snacks! How come you never bring me food when we torture demons?”

“Because I’m a terrible brother!”

“I knew it! You’ve admitted it now, I’m gonna hold you to that forever.”

“Thanks…” Sam sighed and stared at the snacks in his hand. He must have been staring at them for a while because he jumped a mile when he felt Dean touch his shoulder, nearly dropping the tub in the process.

“Sam? You ok?”

“Yeah… yeah… just zoned out I guess.”

“Really? And you’re not freaking out right now?”

“Why would I be freaking out Dean? I promised I wouldn’t.” He realised there was a grumpy edge to his voice, but he couldn’t help it, his brother was treating him like a child again! Dean chuckled, reaching behind him to open a packet of cookies.

“Because your super-hot, usually very sweet, baby-momma has gone totally pyscho-killer-crazy and is quite happily torturing that black-eyed bastard who took your daughter.” He smiled at his brother nonchalantly, “C’mon Sam did you expect her just to roll over? I mean she’s told us enough about her past for you to know she’s not a push over. Besides, she’s a mum now and that mean’s she like doubly violent – you’ve heard those stories about mum’s lifting cars off their kids, she’s just gone into ultra-violent protective mode. You’re doing the same, trust me.”

Sam mulled the words over in his mind, pausing to consider them and realising there was truth in every word his brother spoke.

“Am I really?”

“Oh yeah. You’re super on edge and grumpy right now. Plus, you’re clearly not thinking straight or I wouldn’t have to explain basic concepts to you! And I know if Laura wasn’t here, you’d have carved that asshole up a lot faster than she has… I mean I’d be pulling pieces off the ceiling.”

They sat in silence for a while, and listened as the screaming and moaning began intermittently inside the warehouse. Evidently, Laura was tired of waiting. Slowly they made their way back into the darkness, but a couple of moments later there was a soft ripple of noise and Cas appeared beside Dean.

He gazed at the scene in front of him for a moment, casually taking it all in, watching as four pairs of eyes turned to look at him.

“I assume he hasn’t told you where they took your daughter?”

“No… but he admits that they took her and that isn’t her they actually want.”

“That would correlate with the information I have uncovered.” Cas paused, turning to face Sam and Dean, “I believe they are looking for you two, the child is merely bait, taken because you spend so much time with her mother.” His face was passive as he watched the weight of these words sunk into the brothers.

Dean’s lips curled angrily, a snarl appearing on his lips and his body tensing as rage pulsed through him. But it was nothing, nothing compared to his brother’s reaction. Sam went quite still for a second, his head bowed. When he looked up, the expression on his face would have struck down an army. White hot rage danced across his skin and a furious fire of hatred and bloodlust burned in his eyes. He began to shake and in an instant, he was across the warehouse, pressing Ruby’s knife into the demon’s throat and watching as blood began to dribble along the blade and a faint glow appeared under the wound.

“Where… is… my…daughter?” he could hardly speak and each word he spat out was laced with venom. He pressed the knife closer and the demon let out a gurgling scream as Sam repeated the words, each syllable dripping with ice.

“Your daughter?” the demon gurgled, a note of interest in its strangled tone, “This does make it interesting?”

“Tell me right now where she is or everything that she has done to you, I will do a thousand times worse!”

“Lawrence, Sam…” Cas’ voice broke the tension and Sam snapped round, his eyes wide at the words that the angel has said. “Your daughter is in Lawrence.”

There was a sickened gurgling sound as Sam slit the demon’s throat.


	12. The White-Haired Demon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus brownies to anyone who spots The Princess Bride reference!

They packed up quickly, clearing out of the warehouse and stuffing everything into the cars. Dean disposed of the body and within an hour they were on the road, leaving no trace that they'd even been there.

All four of them squashed into the Impala, leaving Laura's car at the warehouse. Caroline said she would have a friend take her out to collect it. It would save them taking two cars and getting separated and they could use the time together to form a plan of action. You could almost smell the burning asphalt as Dean set a blistering pace, making the others watch out for any form of law enforcement. That was a hassle they just didn't need.

Cas said the demons were camping out in an old house on the edge of Lawrence, not particularly noticeable but within enough reach of civilisation that meant they couldn't go in all guns blazing. Not that that would be the best plan anyway – the last thing they wanted was for Emily to get hurt. It was a shame they wouldn't be able to divert via the bunker on their way there to stock up, but it was just too far out of the way and right now, time was of the essence.

Sam was still angry. Everyone else could probably sense it rolling off him, but he was trying to keep a lid on it for now. It would be much better bottled up and unleashed later, on the fuckers who'd done this. The worst thing about it? They didn't even want his daughter. They didn't even seem to know or care. They wanted him and Dean and they were using her as bait. An innocent eight-month-old baby. He added this to the tidal wave of wrath building in his gut and to the mental checklist of crimes committed by these assholes.

The hours slipped away and so did the daylight. Everyone slept on and off. Laura was curled on the backseat, her head resting on Cas's shoulder. The angel said nothing but he didn't seem to mind, in fact at one point her head slipped onto his lap and he sat and stroked her hair. He whispered that it was to help her sleep, when Dean asked. She would need her strength.

The sun rose as the approached Lawrence.

It had been a long time since either of them had been here. And now they came because they had no choice. During the night they began to plan, on and off, using the information given by Cas and by the time they approached their destination, they had enough of a vague plan to seem feasible. It was pretty dependent on certain factors – like no sentries… which was exactly what they found when they approached the house.

They'd left the Impala a couple of streets over so as not to attract attention, loading up with as much weaponry as they could carry between them, and approached on foot. Across the road from the demon house, there was a collection of trees and scrubby bushes which provided enough cover for them to hunker down and assess the situation.

The house was battered and old and half charred in places. There was a hole in the roof and it looked like at least one of the windows was broken. The front yard was a mess of broken fence posts alongside towering, scraggly weeds. It was a dump but at the same time it was the perfect hideout because it was at the end of a street that lead out of Lawrence, far enough from most people, but there were still occupied houses down the other end, so nobody could torch it without someone noticing and calling the authorities.

At first glance it seemed like their plan might work. They could occasionally see a figure in one of the windows, which Cas confirmed was one of the demons, but apart from that there seemed to be nobody patrolling. They all huddled together, listening to Dean as he outlined the plan again but he didn't get far because Sam began to whisper,

"Dean… hang on…"

"What now Sam?"

"I think we need a change of plan."

"Why the fuck would we-" but his voice trailed off when he noticed a car pulling up outside and four demons getting out.

"Shit!" the expletive was echoed by three voices as the watched the scene in silence. The new demons went inside the house and moments later two figures emerged onto the front porch, carefully scanning the street.

"Ok, new plan."

xxx

Okay, so maybe the 'new plan' isn't the most tactically gifted plan they have ever designed. In fact, maybe it's just the old plan with a few tweaks. But right now that doesn't matter – it's a plan.

Which is how Sam and Laura find themselves sneaking into the back yard of this bastard house, while Cas and Dean take the front. Thank God the demons were too stupid to put up angel warding. It's probably a trap, thinks Sam, as he and Laura practically crawl through the towering weeds, using the busted shell of a truck for cover.

There's only one sentry here.

Laura distracts him, popping up and making a soft whistling noise from halfway across the yard. The demon notices, eyes flashing black, licking his lips as he strides towards her. He doesn't notice when Sam pops up behind him and stabs his swiftly and silently. There's just a flash of light and a muffled scream.

They dump the body behind the truck and creep towards the back porch, keeping their eyes peeled for any signs of movement in the house. Sam's heart is pounding in his chest as they inch closer and closer, tucking themselves in to the side of the back porch. He shouldn't be this nervous, but there is so rarely this much at stake. There are muffled voices from somewhere in the house, but they aren't close enough for either of them to hear exactly what is being said. Then from nowhere, there is the soft wail of a child and something inside Sam snaps.

He leaps up from his place, hurtling up the stairs and practically throwing himself through the back door, which collapses on impact. He's got Ruby's knife gripped tightly in his hands, waiting for someone, anyone to make an appearance.

But the room is empty.

The floor creaks as Laura creeps in behind him, holding a shotgun, and ready to do some serious damage. They lock eyes for a second and Sam tilts his head quickly, to indicate they should sweep the other rooms before they head upstairs.

But the next two rooms are empty as well and something isn't sitting right in Sam's chest. It's too easy and it's unnerving him. It shouldn't be like this. There were at least six demons in this house and there's no sign of Dean or Cas either. It shouldn't have taken them this long to deal with the two sentries out front.

He wants to whisper Dean's name. To call his brother and assess the situation but he doesn't. He doesn't make a sound because with every second that passes this is starting to feel more and more like a trap and his brain is practically screaming at him to GET OUT RIGHT NOW!

Sam turns to check on Laura. But she's not standing where he left her. Instead she's pinned half way up the opposite wall, her eyes glazed and fearful, her mouth half open in a silent scream, desperately staring at Sam.

There's a heavy thud in the back of Sam's head and his last thought before he hits the floor is _Jess._

Xxx

Everything aches.

That's the first thought that registers with Sam's mind as he starts to come to. The second thought is _Laura_.

Panic, fear and anger surge through his veins as his eyes snap open, staring wild-eyed at the situation around him. Laura is tied to a chair next to him. She looks like she's out cold but apart from that he can't see any visible injuries. The room is darkened, without windows that he can see. In the black he can make out a faint set of stairs in the distance. They must in the basement.

Sam tries to turn to look round further but it's impossible. He's been bound and trussed tighter than a turkey at Thanksgiving. His arms are pulled tight behind him, his wrists tied and his arms bound to his chest and the back of the chair. Each of his legs is tied to a leg of the chair and he's pretty sure there's some sort of heavy manacles attached to his feet. The thick lengths of rope twist and bite into his skin as he tries to move, a small hiss escaping his lips.

Laura doesn't look as if she's been tied as heavily. Perhaps the demons don't see her as so much of a threat. Or, worst of all, perhaps they have further plans for her?

Sam tries to remain calm and steady his breathing. Where the hell are Dean and Cas? What the fuck is taking them so long? His other thoughts are about who could be behind this and he makes a mental note that _if_ it is Crowley, that he's going to take that bastard apart piece by piece. He's struggling to think who else it might be…

He opens his mouth to call out, a half cry of "Dean" spilling out hoarsely before a voice in the blackness says,

"Oh Sam, I really wouldn't do that right now if I was you." The sound sends shivers through Sam's spine. It's soft like silk but cold and laced with a venom that feels like ice in his blood.

"Who's there?" his throat feels raw as he spits the words out.

"That's really none of your concern," answers the voice, lazily, "we have far more interesting things to discuss."

"Oh yeah? Like what?"

"Like you Sam… and your daughter…"

"What do you mean?" something inside Sam tenses, and he stops wiggling his wrists inside the bonds for a moment. What the hell are these bastards playing at?

"Well it's recently come to my attention that the little brat we stole to lure you here is none other the flesh and blood of Sam Winchester!" there's a note of casual surprise there. Sam can just about make out a figure in the black but that's all the detail he gets. He thinks it's a male vessel but he can't be sure – not that it matters, he's still gonna stab them anyway!

"Imagine my surprise," continues the voice, "you did manage to keep that one quiet, didn't you? I don't think even Crowley knows…" the voice pauses again, there's the soft clink of metal. Sam quickly turns those words over in his mind. Perhaps Crowley isn't behind this? One way to know for certain.

"Did Crowley send you?"

There's another pause, and a soft sigh and when the demon speaks again Sam can hear to smirk crawling across it's lips,

"Not that it's any of your concern, but no he didn't…"

That's a start.

"I don't know why you would have hidden this news away Sam? After all, children are to be celebrated and she is _such_ a beautiful little girl…" Sam growls. He knows the demon is just trying to get a rise out of him, trying to make him react and it's going for the one thing that it thinks is Sam's new weak spot. "So sweet, so innocent, so _delicious_." And it laughs softly, stepping closer. Sam can begin to see more of an outline of the figure - a tall, thin young man. "We _are_ going to have some fun now!"

Sam doesn't say a word. He knows anything he says will goad the demon on further but all he wants to do is scream and rage and threaten that if they so much as touch one hair on Emily he will end them slowly and painfully. Maybe, if he can keep this asshole talking then it will stop him doing whatever he plans to do next and give Dean and Cas a chance to find them.

"Why?" snaps out Sam. Words seem to be difficult to form.

"Why what Sam? Use your words – conversation is difficult otherwise."

"Why did you take her?"

The demon laughs. It's a soft sound, like his voice, that sends shivers down his spine. "Why do you think?" He pauses. "To get you of course. And you beloved brother. Not to mention the filthy angel who insists on keeping you company."

Well it's a start. The demon turns his attention away for a moment, turning to something at his side, it looks like a table. Sam desperately tries to think of a way to keep him talking. Demons are egotistical bastards and maybe he can use that to find out exactly what is going on here.

"Why take the child then? You could have just ambushed us."

"Oh Sam, please. Don't insult me. You and your brother are too clever to fall for something so obvious… but hit the right spot and you will just come running." The demon steps closer, a twisted smile playing on his lips. "Everyone knows you have an overdeveloped soft spot for people you care about and you'd been spending enough time with this whore for us to know that she was a perfect target… throw in a small child… well it's just a recipe for success!" he chuckles softly, running his tongue across his lips.

"I don't get it… demons have tried to kill us before and they've never succeeded… besides aren't there bigger problems to worry about?" He's making generalisations of course, he's hoping it will trip this bastard up and make him spill. He does seem to like the sound of his own voice.

"Well, the problem depends on who you are and right now, you are not the problem… you are the solution." Sam's face creases. This is new. Since when have him and Dean been solutions to demon's problems? Usually they're the one causing them. The demon chuckles, "Oh Sam, you shouldn't think so hard. You'll hurt yourself." He picks up something off the table which glimmers slightly in the faint light. "Would you like me to explain?"

Sam nods. Usually he'd probably attempt something else in response to the ridiculously condescending tone this guy is using. But right now, it's making him talk and that's all he needs.

"I won't bore you with the details, but suffice to say my colleagues and I have been hired to start a war."

"A war?"

"Yes, it's a long and glorious tradition."

"Why?"

"I'm surprised you Winchesters' have survived so long if you're continually this stupid. Shall I use small words? I have been hired to start a war against Crowley. A civil war in hell, as it were. And to do that, my employer has asked me to do something the upstarted bastard couldn't… kill you and your brother. The angel too if possible but it's not essential. We all know he'd be helpless on his own."

Sam listens carefully, brushing away the insults and sifting through the information at a rapid pace. A civil war in hell? That's certainly a new development. Whoever's behind this is certainly taking bold steps to start one. And they've probably never met him or his brother. They've certainly never met Cas. Sam opens his mouth to ask another question, but the demon stops him.

"Now, now Sam. No more questions, you've certainly asked enough and I think it's time we had some fun!" He reaches up to the wall behind him and there's a soft click before a dim light flickers on, illuminating the basement.

"Time to wake up!" He calls softly, and beside Sam there's a soft groan as Laura begins to stir.

"Sam?" her voice is groggy but there's a tiny hint of fear there, bubbling under the surface, despite her attempts to keep her voice steady. Sam twists his head to look at her, trying to give a reassuring look that everything will be ok, even though he knows his own face is betraying him. All he can do is mutter that it's ok, even though he doesn't quite believe it himself.

The demon is watching them, eyes flickering from black to the pale blue of the vessel. The vessel is young and well dressed in a dark suit, with pale skin and pale hair. For some reason, Sam's mind thinks of Draco Malfoy. It's not a particularly helpful thought right now.

"Such a touching reunion, but I'm sorry I'm going to have to break up the party." The smile on his face is hungry and cold. "Now we have you Sam, we have no need for your darling associate here… or your daughter. Hell knows we definitely don't need another Winchester kicking around, even if she might make a lovely vessel one day."

"What are you going to do to my daughter?" Laura growls, straining at her bonds.

"Oh, _I_ won't do anything," his voice is gleeful now, it's a disturbing sound, "but you will."

Laura's eyes go wide at the suggestion and she starts to fight harder. She's not bound quite as much as Sam but it doesn't mean the rope is thinner or looser. She hisses, snarling as the ropes cut into her. There's a soft sound in the darkness and another demon steps forward, a tall blonde woman, eyeing up Laura like a piece of meat.

Sam starts to see red. He knows what their plan is. He's been around enough demons and after a while they all start to think the same. But that doesn't mean he can stop them. Where the fuck is Dean? There's got to be some serious shit going on if his brother isn't around. Which means he'll have to try and think of something fast.

But things start to go south and Sam can't think fast enough.

Suddenly, the room is full of black smoke and the blonde woman collapses. The smoke swarms around Laura and all Sam can do is scream her name. He can't remember whether she's marked up. Why the hell didn't he double check? How could he have been so stupid! He's going to lose her. He's going to lose Emily. The two most important women in his life will be taken from him just like that because of his stupidity. It feels like there's a lead weight crushing his chest. He can't breathe and he wants to tear his eyes away, but he knows they'll make him watch. Like he had to watch Jess die. Now he's going to have to watch again as everything he loves is taken from him.

Love. He loves them. He loves Laura.

It's a devastating realisation and it hits him like a ton of bricks. How did he not realise? He hasn't felt like this for so long and yet now it's threatening to overwhelm him. But he knows it's true. He's known it for ages… watching Laura dancing around the bunker in his shirts, spraying her with the hosepipe in the summer, reading with her on the sofa and kissing her bump, watching her bring Emily into this world, listening to her get up at all hours when their daughter cried and never complaining but falling asleep on the sofa as soon as Sam took Emily back to her cot. Spending hours on the phone with her, never getting tired of the sound of her voice. Making dinner with her, and trying to teach her how to cook. Laughing as she burns yet another pasta sauce. Languidly making love with her when Dean and Cas took Emily to the park to give them a break. Watching Laura as she slept, memorising every line, every detail of her face to keep him going until he can see her again. Stroking her hair when she rests her head in his lap. Laughing with her. Kissing her. Holding her and their daughter close and feeling so happy he thought he might explode.

He hasn't felt like this since he was with Jess. And now he's going to lose Laura without being able to tell her just how much she means to him. And the thought is killing him. But just like then, he's helpless. Powerless. All he can do is watch.

The smoke swirls angrily and the room is full of a howling sound that deafens him. Then suddenly it retreats back into the woman on the floor and there's a bitter laugh coming from beside him.

Laura's laughing, spitting blood onto the floor. "I'm marked up bitches. You can't touch me." She winks at Sam and suddenly he remembers the trailing tattoo of flowers up Laura's side. Each of the flowers is a tiny anti-possession symbol, carefully inked into her skin. How many times has he run his fingers up and down it when they were lying in bed? Tracing each of the delicate lines and examining it, admiring it, kissing it. From afar it looks just like a vine of beautiful flowers but get close and you can practically feel the silent power and protection. It reminds him of Laura.

Hope floods his veins. He will not give up his family. Not now, not ever!

The male demons waves this away languidly as a minor setback that doesn't particularly concern him. "No matter, I shall simply kill you myself. Or perhaps I should kill your daughter first? Then I can hear you scream." He shivers in anticipation, licking his lips at this new thought of inflicting cruelty and pain. He nods at the other demon, who's now back on her feet, instructing her to bring him the child.

Sam squirms against the ropes digging into his wrists, trying with all his might to slip one hand free. But his arms are still bound tightly against his sides, restricting his movement to the tiniest wriggle.

Something catches the corner of his eye. Blink and he would have missed it. It's Dean. By some miracle, he's in the basement and now all Sam has to do is keep this white-haired bastard talking so his brother can sneak up on him and gut him like a fish.

The white-haired demon picks up a knife from the table, carefully running his finger across the blade as he steps forward towards Laura. "Time to say goodbye." He whispers.

And then there's an almighty crash and a bang like a gun going off. A whistling of wind and the light flashes. It's gone as soon as it starts and there's a new figure stood in the basement.

"Hello Moose."


	13. I Think You're Going To Regret Those Words

Sam started, his head snapping back at the sight of Crowley sauntering nonchalantly into the middle of the basement.

The white-haired demon, who’d been holding a knife against Laura’s skin, found himself thrown backwards across the room and pinned against a small piece of wall, arms and legs contorted. The knife clattered to the floor, the sound echoing around the now silent basement.

“Crowley?” Sam spluttered, finally managing to get some words out of his dry, raw throat.

“In the flesh.” Replied the King of Hell, taking a casual glance around the interior of the basement.

“What are you doing here?” added Sam, still trying to wrap his head around this. The answer was obvious in all fairness; he’d been summoned. But, Sam wondered, in what world was summoning Crowley the answer to any of their problems? He tried to look for Dean in the corner of the basement and saw his older brother nodding at him, in what Sam supposed was meant to be a reassuring, this-is-part-of-the-plan-so-just-fucking-go-with-it look. It wasn’t really working.

“I believe you are in a spot of bother Moose and because I am a generous soul I’m here to offer my assistance, as it were.” Crowley’s voice was soft, almost bored, but there must be something of vague interest to him here or he wouldn’t have agreed to help. He glanced over at the demon pinned to the wall, who’s pale eyes had gone very wide at the sight of the black-suited man standing in the centre of the room.

Sam stared at him. The words, _Crowley_ and _here to help_ were not ones he’d ever have thought he’d be putting in the same sentence together. Well, not without the word _isn’t_ in the middle. He tried to voice this concern but the words wouldn’t come, his throat seemed to have seized up. Instead he glanced wide eyed between Crowley and Laura several times, trying to process the situation. Laura was also staring. A look of fear, horror and fascination was plastered all over her face, her jaw slack as if she couldn’t quite believe what she was both seeing and hearing.

“You… help?!” Sam uttered, finally, his tone full of utter disbelief.

“Yes Moose…” Crowley’s tone was withering and so was the expression on his face, “I was under the impression you might need it.” That was probably the understatement of the year.

“I understand,” continued Crowley, pulling a silver hipflask out of the pocket of his jacket and unscrewing the top, “that you now have a daughter, congratulations!” The soft scent of scotch flooded the room. Crowley raised the flask in a small gesture of cheers before taking a sip. Sam nodded when the demon looked at him, there was no use denying the fact. Crowley didn’t miss anything but how he knew about Emily was beyond him, he thought they’d all been so careful. But now it was out in the open and Sam wasn’t sure whether he was relieved or terrified.

“And I’m going to assume this lovely young lady is her mother.” Crowley nodded his head at Laura, a small smiled crossing his face as he took another swig from the flask. “Aren’t you going to introduce me?” the demon added, as if this was the most normal of circumstances and they had all the time in the world for social conventions.

“Crowley this is Laura, Laura this is Crowley… the King of Hell.”

“Charmed.”

“Nice to meet you,” added Laura softly, her voice barely above a whisper.

There was silence for a moment. It was slightly awkward as if nobody seemed quite sure how to proceed. Crowley took another sip from his flask before sliding it back into his jacket and casually examining the table of instruments that the white-haired demon had been toying with.

“So… what happens now?” asked Laura, more to Sam than Crowley, but the demon was the one who responded.

“Well I believe the squirrel and that giraffe, Castiel, have cleaned up most of the mess while you two were taking a break down here, however they were kind enough to invite me to collect the last piece, because apparently, some bastard had the bright idea to start a civil war in Hell!” he spat the last words out, anger rising in his voice as he rounded on the other demon. He clicked his fingers and the white-haired demon collapsed to the floor, clutching his throat.

Crowley stared at him, his expression cold. He seemed to regard the other demon as no more than a bug he was considering squashing under his shoe. Insignificant and worthless.

“Would you care to explain yourself before I dismember you?”

“It wasn’t my idea sir,” muttered the other demon, his voice raspy. “I was just hired to make it happen.” He still lay crumpled on the floor, not looking Crowley in the eye. His bravado seemed to have disappeared at an incredibly rapid rate.

“I think it had something to do with killing Dean and I,” muttered Sam, “he said something about making you look weak?”

It was quite satisfying to throw the white-haired bastard under the bus, thought Sam as he watched Crowley’s eyes flair, a cruel smile sliding across his face.

“Really?” he raised an eyebrow, “perhaps we should go back to Hell and I can show exactly how weak I am?” his tone was steady and icy. A little shiver ran through Sam. He was quite glad that Crowley’s wrath was not being directed at him. The other demon was whimpering and muttering incoherently on the floor.

“Or perhaps you’d just like to name whichever bastard thought it was a good idea to kidnap the child of a Winchester? Thank Hell that at least I won’t have to put up with your stupidity anymore. What were you planning to do? Keep the child? Give it back?” Crowley growled.

“Kill her.” Muttered white-hair, looking up for the first time. “The order was to kill her and the mother.” Sam noted the look of fear flooding his face and felt a small pull of satisfaction.

“Really. Clearly you are not working for me, I do not kill children… well babies anyway…or at least not the children of the Winchesters! I’m not bloody stupid! And I have standards… vague ones anyway.” Crowley snarled, his temper flaring. “Your idiocy makes it obvious you and your employer haven’t got a bloody brain-cell between you. In what world was this plan any sort of acceptable?”

“Well, it was working fine until they summoned you…” the other demon muttered under his breath and instantly looked like he regretted the decision. Crowley’s eyes flashed and the cruel smirk widened. There was a sort of glee there as well.

“I think you’re going to regret those words.” He snapped his fingers and the white-haired demon was gone in an instant. Crowley straightened his jacket, turning back to Sam and Laura. “Apologies Moose, Moose’s girlfriend, I don’t believe I’m going to be able to stay and catch up. I believe I’ve got some torturing to do.”

“Wait…” Sam asked, a desperate edge to his voice. He was determined to get a sense of what the actual fuck was going on before the demon simply swanned away without providing any answers, “how did you know we were here? And-”

“I’d ask The Wonder Twins if I were you…” said Crowley, raising his hand, “well now, times a wasting as they say.” And in an instant, he was gone leaving confusion in his wake.

“Dean,” called Sam into the basement. “What the fuck is going on?”

xxx

Dean wouldn’t tell them anything until he’d untied Sam and Laura, carefully loosening tightening joints and easing all their muscles back into a normal alignment. It had been harder to remove the manacles from Sam’s feet although Dean had managed to pick the locks eventually, despite his protestations that it might just be easier to shoot them off. He seemed to think Sam was being unreasonable for not letting him point at gun at his feet.

As soon as they were free Sam fell onto Laura, enveloping her in a tight embrace and pulling her body flush against his as he ran his fingers through her hair. She clutched his shirt as a few shaken breaths racked her body. They clung to each other as the unspoken realisation hit them that today they had come close to the end and it had terrified both of them.

Dean coughed and they broke apart. Sam wrapped his brother in a tight hug. “Easy Sammy,” muttered Dean, but he didn’t resist and welcomed the hug the Laura gave him.

“Where’s Emily?” she asked, softly, as if she was scared to know the answer.

“Don’t worry,” replied Dean. “She’s with Cas.”

They traipsed slowly back up the stairs, still on guard even though it was supposedly over. Sam’s muscles ached from being contorted at odd angles and there were rope burns across his wrists. Laura had them too from where she’d struggled against the bonds and Sam hoped Cas could make short work of them. Dean’s shirt was covered in blood and there were a few gashes and bruises dotting his skin.

The rooms upstairs were still empty but there was solitary figure stood on the back porch. Cas was cradling a sleeping Emily in his arms, a small smile on his face. He too was bloodied and battered but the look on his face suggested that he just didn’t care.

Laura let out a relieved sob, practically falling onto the angel and swooping up her daughter, planting hundreds of kisses over her sleeping form. Relief washed over Sam as he watched them, but there was still a nagging thought in the back of his mind. What had the demons done to Emily? Would Cas be able to tell? What if she was now like her father, tainted by demon blood?

“I’ve put her to sleep,” said Cas softly, “it will help her to relax. When she wakes, she will see you and she will be home and everything will be normal again.”

They nodded and Sam gently wiped the tears from Laura’s face, pulling her and Emily into a gently hug, wrapping his arms around them. They stood there for a moment, until Laura pulled away, chewing her lip thoughtfully.

“Is she… is there…” she seemed to be struggling to get the words out, as if she was scared to ask the question on the tip of her tongue.

“She’s fine,” replied Cas, with his soft smile. “I cannot detect anything wrong, she seems perfectly healthy if a little tired and underfed.”

“Thank God.” Muttered Laura, breathing out heavily. She’d obviously been holding her breath.

“Cas…” Sam said, “did they? Is she?” It was his turn to stammer and mutter now.

“No Sam,” once again Cas seemed to be able to read his mind. “They have not given your daughter demon’s blood. She is not contaminated. I believe they told you the truth. She really was just bait.” The angel paused, as if unsure how to proceed. “May I suggest you allow me to remove her memories of the past few days?” He asked tentatively. The three other adults stared at him so he added, “I believe it will prevent any mental damage and help her settle back into normal life quicker, although I realise she may be too young to remember anything definitively, I just thought…” he trailed off.

“Cas,” said Laura softly, “if you think it will help then please, do it. Don’t you think Sam?”

Sam nodded. It almost seemed like a given. He knew that he should feel strange to be doing this to his daughter but he was more relieved than anything else. Relieved at the thought that she wouldn’t suffer and couldn’t be haunted by his failure as a parent.

Castiel gently placed his fingers on Emily’s forehead and closed his eyes. When he opened them, seconds later, he nodded to indicate that it had been done. Laura stepped closer to him and reached up to plant a soft kiss of thanks of Cas’s stubbly cheek. A deep blush spread across the angel’s skin and Sam realised he probably would have laughed if he hadn’t felt like doing exactly the same thing.

There was silence for a moment and Sam wrapped Laura back up in his arms, a heavy weight in his chest as he realised, once again, that his brother and Cas had had to clean up his mistakes.

 “I’m sorry,” he muttered, looking round at all of them. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault Sam,” Laura answered, “please, please don’t do this to yourself.”

“I’m gonna make sure it never happens again, no matter what.” And he meant that. Every word. No matter what, he was going to do better. He was going to protect them.

“It’s not going to,” came Dean’s voice. Sam looked across at him, trying to read his brother’s expression and seeing nothing there.

“What do you mean?” Sam felt the tension rising in his chest. “What did you do Dean?”

“We..errr… I mean Cas and I… well we….”

“We made a deal.”

Sam’s eyes widened. He’d been desperately hoping they hadn’t done something stupid but this? This was next level stupid. His brother and Castiel had gone and made a fucking deal with the King of Hell.

“You did what?”

“It’s not what you think Sam.” Added Dean, as if hurriedly trying to diffuse the situation.

“Oh really Dean? What is it then? Because from here it sounds like you’ve just taken one problem and made it a thousand times worse!” This was everything he feared, but worse. Because it wasn’t just his brother but Cas as well and now he was going to lose both of them. He’d already watched his brother be ripped apart by hellhounds once and he couldn’t do that again.

“It’s very simple.” Said Cas softly, breaking the rising tension. “We offered Crowley the dissenters from Hell and he agreed that Laura and Emily and any more children or family that you may have are off limits. Forever.”

Sam stared at him, not quite believing the words coming out of the angel’s mouth. He glanced down at Laura who seemed to have the same expression on her face. It was too easy. There had to be a catch. Crowley would never agree to something like that, would he?

“How?...I…I don’t understand…” Sam stammered, trying to give voice to the swirling mass of thoughts rushing round his head. Because it was never that simple, was it?

“Cas and I got their plan from one of the other demons whilst you were tied to that chair and we figured that even if these guys failed, there was still gonna be some other bastard with bright ideas coming at you at some point, so we needed a more permanent solution. Emily deserves that. So does Laura. And do you Sam.” Dean paused, smiling at his baby brother. Sam thought he might cry. His brother was so damn selfless. But now they had safety… safety for his family. It was all he wanted for them. Everything else he could do something about but that had never been something he could guarantee, but now?

“But how did you get Crowley to agree?” asked Laura, voicing the question on Sam’s mind. “He doesn’t seem like the type of person to just give in.” Dean smiled; it was a clever, knowing little smirk.

“Well…” Dean chuckled, “well, let’s say Cas can be very persuasive when he needs to be…”

“You threatened him?”

“Possibly, Crowley does like his current position in Hell’s hierarchy. But it was to keep Emily safe. I think we’d all agree that any of us would do the same.” The angel smiled. Sometimes, it was easy to forget how badass Castiel could be when he wanted. Especially when half of the time he seemed to be made of marshmallow. “You don’t really need all the details Sam, although I can easily discuss them with you once we have returned Emily home.”

“Home.” Said Laura, softly, as if she couldn’t quite believe she was muttering those words. “Let’s go home.”

Xxx

It was close to 2am the next morning when then finally got back to Laura’s house. They were all pretty much dropping but Dean insisted on driving them all straight home so they could get Emily settled. Luckily whatever Cas had done had worked and she slept all the way, seeming none the worse the wear for her ordeal. Now she was now asleep in her cot with an angel watching over her.

Dean was crashed out on the couch, the hours of driving having taken their toll. Laura had draped a blanket across him, carefully removing the half-drunk bottle of beer from his hand and placing it on the coffee table.

Sam was perched out on the decking, gazing up at the stars and not really noticing the cold night air nipping at his exposed skin. He was just relieved… so relieved and grateful. His mind kept flicking back over the past couple of days, replaying the events over and over in horrifying detail and all he could think is how close he came to losing them… to losing the two most important women in his life. It’s funny how horrible things give you clarity.

Despite the fact this was by far not the most challenging or difficult thing he’s ever dealt with, the realisation that had come with it had knocked Sam for six and he was still finding it hard to deal with. He knew he had to set things straight with Laura and deal with his emotions in the way he’s forever lecturing Dean to do… he had to take his own advice for once!

The door slid open behind him and a warm gust of air caught the back of his neck. Sam could hear someone stepping outside and the door closing behind them but he didn’t look round, too lost in his own thoughts and it wasn’t until Laura flopped down next to him that he looked over.

“Want a beer?” she asked, holding one out to him. She was wrapped in one of Sam’s jackets over her jumper and he smiled when he noticed her unicorn slippers.

“Thanks.”

They sat in silence for a while, gazing up at the night sky, not quite touching but close enough to draw comfort from each other’s presence. Sam wanted to say something, to sum up everything he’d realised today, and the words were starting to form in his chest when Laura started speaking,

“Hey Sam?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks…for everything… I don’t know how I’d have done this without you.” she smiled at him softly, the lamplight from the living room catching her eyes, giving them a soft glow. “Truly, I mean it. I don’t know what I’ve done. You’re amazing. We’re lucky to have you.”

“No… I mean it’s okay… I’m lucky to have you.” He took a deep breath, playing with the label on the bottle, “You… Emily… you’re some of the best things to ever happen to me and,” he paused, not quite sure how to get the words out, for some reason his heart was going a million miles an hour, “and I don’t know what I would do without you. I was scared, I was _so_ fucking scared today that I might lose one of you and I’ve lost too many people over the years… but the worst thing, the worst thing was that I thought I might lose you before I could talk to you…really talk to you.” She was smiling at him again, that warm patient smile that she wore with Emily all the time. That smile always made him feel like there was a sun in his stomach. How did he get so lucky? Here she was: an amazing, smart, funny woman who happens to be no less than a hunter and a doctor and the mother of the most beautiful little girl in the universe. Why was she here with him? He knew that he had to do it now, he had to tell her how he felt before his nerves ran out. A nervous laugh escaped his lips as he swigged the beer and gazed up at the tiny sliver of moon in the sky.

“I think… I think I might be a bit in love with you.”

There was a pause. Sam realised he couldn’t look at her, couldn’t bear to see her reaction… just in case.

“Well that’s good,” Laura chuckled under her breath, nudging him playfully with her shoulder. He turned to look at her, noticing the grin spreading across her face, “cos I’m quite a bit in love with you Sam Winchester.”

Sam laughed, nudging her back as another giddy chuckle escaped his lips. He reached out and pulled her towards him, pressing a searing kiss to her lips. He can’t remember ever kissing her like this. It was warm, tender, loving with heat and passion behind it. He could say everything with that kiss. _I love you. I love you. I love you._ A firework exploded in his chest, flooding his veins with excitement and happiness as the realisation kicked in that Laura loved him. It was the best feeling in the world and he never wanted to let it go.

They stayed there for a while, exchanging soft kisses, but when they broke apart they resumed sitting next to each other, with their fingers were intertwined, resting on Sam’s leg. 


	14. A Warm, Safe Place

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here it is. The last stop on the road. I can't actually believe I've made it this far and that this tiny idea I had has now surpassed fifty thousand words. I couldn't have imagined that when I started this in December last year, that it would end up as large as it has done.
> 
> I'm so grateful for all your love and support. It really means the world to me and I don't think I'd have gotten this far without any of you. You are all amazing people. Thank you for reading my little work of fiction and for giving me your time and energy. I hope you enjoy this final chapter.
> 
> It may not be our final stop though, I'm toying with a time-stamp because I have so many little ideas that haven't made it into the main story and I don't know if I can bare to leave them out.

It took a while but, little by little, things began to return to normal.

For several weeks after 'the incident', as it was coming to be known, they were all on edge – convinced that at any moment Crowley would appear from around some corner with a laugh and snap his fingers to summon a hoard of malevolent demons or simply just kill them all. Because really, it couldn't be that easy could it?

Laura seemed to be running on hyper alert, double and triple checking everything and everywhere she went. She and Cas had painted protection symbols in UV paint all over Emily's buggy and Sam noted that there was now a 9mm tucked in a bottom of Laura's handbag, along with an angel blade and a hipflask of her special brand holy saline solution, because this time she was taking no chances.

Dean and Cas had remained resolutely at the house, venturing only a couple of hours away at most. Dean said there wasn't much out there for them to do right now, which Sam reckoned was complete bullshit but he wasn't going to argue. And while Cas seemed calm and composed, all Dean's extra energy seemed to run in little peaks, where he would cook mountains of food, to little crashes where he would binge watch hours of movies or _Doctor Sexy_ , often with Emily cuddled up in his lap, as he introduced her to the 'complex' world of medical soap operas. He's virtually attached himself at the hip to his niece and Sam didn't say anything but he knew old habits die hard, especially where babies and family were concerned.

Sam tried to appear calm but internally he was wound tighter than a bow string, utterly convinced that something was going to go wrong, because he was never, ever allowed a happy ending. They don't happen to Winchesters.

So he cleaned weapons and he ran. He found the early morning streets peaceful and the hours he spent pounding the pavement left his head feeling surprisingly calm and relaxed. The exercise helped him to unwind, allowing him to burn up the excess energy that his worrying seemed to have produced.

Occasionally Laura started coming with him, and although she wasn't as fast or as fit, Sam found he enjoyed her company and happily moderated his pace to accommodate her. And if the sight of her in her leggings or running shorts happened to be part of the reason, well that was for nobody else to know. Laura certainly seemed to appreciate what the constant stream of exercise was doing for Sam's body, finding no end of (pretty poor) excuses to touch him. Sam was pretty sure that "I might die if I don't touch your butt" wasn't a valid reason but he wasn't going to complain, especially when his own excuse to run his hands over Laura's jeans or shirt, when nobody was looking, was "it's the law".

It was funny how those three little words had completely changed his life.

They were closer with each other now, more relaxed. Sam realised he hadn't noticed how careful they'd been around each other, dancing around as if they were afraid of hurting the other person. Not saying what they'd truly felt because what if the other one hadn't felt the same. Until he'd feared he'd lost them, Sam realised he'd never really appreciated how much Laura or Emily meant to him. You never really appreciate some things until you think you might lose them.

But since that night, sat out on the steps under the stars, it was as if the floodgates had opened and suddenly they were making up for lost time. The little, lingering touches here and there, the soft good morning and good night kisses, the giggling and cuddling and the casual _I love you'_ s thrown out over breakfast or when Emily was being difficult or simply because they could.

The first time they'd said it publicly had been over breakfast, one morning a couple of weeks after the incident.

They'd had a rough night, Emily seemed to have regressed back to screaming every couple of hours for no discernible reason. She'd finally gone back to sleep at six and when Dean came downstairs at eight, he found Laura and Sam hunched over the kitchen table, each nursing a large mug of coffee, looking a little like death warmed up.

"Rough night huh?" He couldn't see any form of food around, so he rummaged in the fridge and pulled out some eggs and bacon. Sam looked up at him with dark, puffy eyes.

"Could you not hear her? How do you sleep through this?"

"Earplugs Sam…" he paused, and looked at them slightly sheepishly. "And I may or may not have gotten Cas to help make my room slightly sound resistant when Emily was born… I can't actually hear her crying…"

The looks of both parents would have been enough to kill a lesser man.

"I'm going to kill him." Muttered Laura, waving a threatening hand at Dean. "Cut his heart out with a spoon."

"Don't worry, I'll hold him down." Added Sam, gripping the edge of his coffee mug with white knuckles.

"Why a spoon? Why not an axe?" asked Dean, although he knew what was coming – he was the one who'd shown them _Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves_.

"Because it's dull you twit, it'll hurt more!" Growled Laura and Sam in unison. They glared at Dean for a moment and then broke down giggling.

"Wow you two are sleep deprived." Muttered Dean, beginning to scramble eggs alongside the sizzling bacon.

"Yeah…" Sam said, nodding his head in agreement. He smiled at Laura, watching her exhausted face return the gesture. There was a little flush of warmth in his chest. "God I love you." He added, leaning over to pull her into a soft kiss.

"Love you too." Laura replied, nuzzling him gently.

"Damn you two are sickening." They jumped apart slightly, having temporarily forgotten Dean was there. He placed two plates of eggs and bacon in front of them, along with a stack of buttered toast. "Eat that before I throw up all over it."

They giggled, tucking in and listening to Dean grumble lightly about idiots in love and how he shouldn't have to watch them. He was smiling though. When he sat down at the table next to Sam, he cleared his throat and smirked at his little brother and shot him a shit-eating grin, saying loudly,

"So, not your girlfriend huh?"

xxx

The date was Dean's idea.

After all, he said, the two of them had never been on an actual date.

He and Sam were heading out to Nebraska on a job. It had been the first real job Sam had been on since the incident and Laura had practically begged Dean to get him out the house, saying that Sam needed something to do. Sam had disagreed a little – there was nothing wrong with spending a good portion of each day fieldstripping weapons and running – but in the end, he'd lost and now he was sat in the front seat of the Impala, the miles disappearing underneath them.

"I'm just saying, you've never been on a real date Sam." Sam opened his mouth to retort but Dean cut him off by continuing, "and no the surprise-I'm-pregnant breakfast doesn't count and neither do the times I know you two have been casually hooking up when Cas and I take _your daughter_ to the park!"

Well he couldn't disagree there. An hour or two of privacy was an hour or two or privacy. Although sometimes they did just spend the time asleep, curled up together on top of the covers as time slipped softly by.

"C'mon, look me an' Cas'll babysit and you two can go out and do grown up things."

"You just want to watch the latest season of Dr Sexy that Laura's got recorded." Sam jibed good naturedly, knowing that everything his brother said was true. And it would be nice to get out for a couple of hours and be themselves again. After everything, maybe it was time to do things properly for once.

So, Sam made dinner reservations, and a week later found himself being ushered out the door by his older brother.

Emily was already asleep and after reassuring Sam and Laura numerous times that, yes, he had all their contact numbers and the restaurants and Cas was here too, just in case, Dean settled in for an evening of peace and quiet.

He ordered two large pizzas and some sides, using Cas as an excuse to why he needed so much food, despite the fact he'd be the only one eating. He took the chilled six-pack out the fridge and then settled down on the sofa to do what Sam said he would: binge watch the latest season of _Doctor Sexy_. In glorious HD.

Cas was perched quite happily on the other end of the sofa. He knew full well not to interrupt Dean while he was watching, although the angel did have serious questions about Doctor Sexy's abilities as a medical professional and surely the cowboy boots he wore just weren't practical. He tried to raise this point but Dean shot him a dirty look and said,

"As I've said before Cas, the cowboy boots make Doctor Sexy sexy!"

"Yes but-"

"No buts Cas. We have a couple of hours of peace and quiet and Doctor Sexy, and I am going to enjoy them."

And he did. By the time he heard the roar of the Impala pulling into the driveway they'd made their way through at least four episodes or was it five… could have even been six… but there were still twenty minutes to go on this episode, the conclusion to what Dean considered to be a brilliant two-parter in which Doctor Sexy attempted to stop nurse Melanie getting hitched to that douche-bag surgeon, Doctor Dastard, and catch a serial killer who'd been poisoning his victims from inside the hospital. Everything was just going tits up, with nurse Melanie declaring that she would still marry Doctor Dastard because he loved her (so not true, thought Dean), even though everyone knew she was still in love with Doctor Sexy and to top it off, the suspect they thought for sure was the murderer was, in fact, innocent. I bet it's that smug bastard, Doctor Dastard, thought Dean. C'mon the guy is so slimy and creepy… it's gotta be him. He voiced these thoughts to Cas who, despite his initial reservations, seemed equally drawn in.

"I suspect your right Dean, especially as Doctor Dastard requested the charts of one of the murdered patients before he died, even though the man in question did not require surgery."

"Exactly. And I bet his plan is now to murder nurse Melanie to get back at Doctor Sexy for being so, well, sexy… and a better doctor."

The discussion continued while they watched, each making the occasional comment as they stared at the drama unfolding in front of them. In fact, they'd both forgotten about the returning Impala as they watched Doctor Sexy figure out that, yes Doctor Dastard was the murderer (knew it, cried Dean triumphantly) and bursting into the church with the police just in time to stop the wedding, arrest Doctor Dastard and sweep nurse Melanie off her feet, taking her off on her tropical honeymoon with a doctor who was surely a much better fuck than her fiancé had been!

All in all, it was a very satisfying conclusion to the episodes. And Dean was intrigued by the next episode – apparently Doctor Sexy was going to be saving lives on an island paradise, while holidaying with nurse Melanie (who looked like she might spend the whole episode in a bikini) – was there anything that man couldn't do? – when he realised something… his car had come back to the house, but the passengers hadn't come inside…

The sudden realisation hit Dean like a truck… Sam and Laura… in his Baby! He jumped off the couch with such ferocity that he startled Cas and the poor angel jumped out of his skin as Dean hurtled towards the front door,

"Like hell are they having sex in MY CAR!"

"But Dean you-" called Cas, pointedly trying to remind Dean of how hypocritical he was being at this moment. Dean knew what Cas was saying was true but in his opinion, there was some things his car didn't deserve to suffer through, and his brother having sex in there was one of them.

"No buts Cas: my car, my rules" Dean snapped as he wrenched the front door open and marched across the front lawn. He wondered, vaguely, if this is how parents felt about their children – excessively, if irrationally, overprotective.

The windows of the car were slightly steamed up and with a raised eyebrow he stopped by the driver's door and yanked it open, averting his eyes quickly after finding himself look straight down at the pair of them entwined on the front bench and getting an eyeful of Laura's boobs. Thank Christ she was still wearing a bra.

"You know you do have a house to do these things in." he said, trying to maintain a casual air to his voice.

There were some startled yelps and giggles, as both parties sat up very quickly attempting to cover themselves up a little. Dean looked down at them with raised eyebrows and an unimpressed look as he noted Sam's messed up hair and unbuttoned shirt and the fact he seemed to be wearing half of Laura's lipstick.

"But Dean-" Sam started, obviously going to attempt to make the same argument Cas had. Dean looked at him pointedly.

"My car Sam. _My car_ , my rules."

"Well in that case," answered Laura, sliding out of the driver's door in her underwear seeming, incredibly, unembarrassed. "My house, my rules." She winked at Dean, picked up her heels and dress in one hand and grabbed Sam's wrist with the other, pulling him out of the car and towards the house with a parting shot of, "better shut yourself in your room then!".

"Sons of bitches," Dean muttered, patting Baby gently, "what did they do to you?" before calling over to the disappearing couple, "think of your daughter!"

Yeah… like hell were they were going to listen to him.

xxx

Summer rolled around and Emily seemed to be getting bigger and more inquisitive every day.

She was now crawling confidently, moving at speeds that all the adults had first considered impossible. The first time she'd crawled away she'd nearly caused Laura and Sam to have a joint heart attack because their initial reaction was that she'd been kidnapped again from right under their noses. They'd found her under the dining room table, happily smiling and drooling and chewing something she'd picked up.

Their joy that she could move was slightly tampered by their panic that _**she could move**_ and they spent the rest of the day baby proofing as much as the downstairs as possible, checking all the stair-gates and telling Dean that they now had to be extra careful about what they left lying around.

By the start of June, she had started to begin to pull herself into a standing position, usually using the sofa or the coffee table. She was still quite wobbly and never lasted too long before she sat down with a little bump, but she always looked quite pleased with herself and Sam actually thought his heart was going to burst with love and pride every time she managed it.

One afternoon, he found Dean watching her. He was sat on the floor next to the sofa, his hands carefully outstretched in front of him, Emily sat just in front of him with her hands grasping the sofa. She gently pulled herself into a standing position, giggling at Dean who wiggled his fingers at her encouragingly.

"That's it sweetie, that's so good, you're so clever, just like your daddy. Can you take a little step for me? C'mon baby, that's it." Dean's voice was soft and sweet and full of loving encouragement as he watched his niece, his face a picture of adoration. But there was a tiny tinge of sadness there. He'd be such an amazing dad, thought Sam, as he watched them.

Emily smiled again and took a tiny, wobble step towards Dean, gripping the sofa tightly and then throwing her arms out and collapsing into his lap. Dean swooped her up into a tight cuddle, peppering her tiny face with kisses and muttering a never-ending stream of praises.

Right then, Sam really believed his heart might explode.

"You're so good with her." He said softly. Dean jumped a touch, obviously not realising Sam had been watching.

"Well it's easy," his brother retorted, letting Emily grab his ear, "she's a hell of a lot cuter than you were!"

Sam chuckled as he moved across to sit on the floor next to them, but he made no move to take Emily from Dean. "Can I ask you something?"

"You're going to anyway."

"Did you do this for me?"

Dean looked at him, his expression mixed. There was love there, pride and sadness too. "Yeah… yeah I did."

"Thank you." Sam wished he could convey everything he wanted to say in those two words and he hoped Dean knew what he meant. He was so grateful for everything Dean had done for him. Being a parent had made him realise so much of what Dean had done, so much of what Dean had had to give up and Emily wasn't even a year old yet. He can't quite bring himself to ever consider all the things he knows that Dean did for him, and all the things he probably doesn't know about – the thought that Dean had suffered for him makes his stomach tighten and his chest ache.

As an adult, he knows he can't change to past but he wishes he could repent a little for his past selfishness, even if he was only a kid who didn't know any better. He tries not to dwell on what Dean has done for him because every time he does he can feel the floodgates start to open and he's worried he might just break down and cry because he knows he'd do _anything_ to protect his daughter and make sure she had food and clothes and books and money for school trips. And the fact that he probably doesn't know half of what Dean did for him makes it all the worse.

He mentioned it to Laura once, under cover of darkness, when they were curled in bed and the past seemed far away, like the foreign country it should be. She'd held him tight and comforted him when his shame at his selfishness spilled out of him, becoming a torrent of emotion as the damn began to break. He wanted a better life for his daughter. For his family. Laura had clung to him too. Money worries and hunting largely go hand in hand and in the dead of night Laura whispered that she was glad she got out when she did as a child, because who knows what she'd have done for money if she'd had too or if her father had asked.

"Hey Dean," Sam murmurs, snapping out of his reverie.

"Yeah?"

"If something ever happened to me or Laura or both of us… will you look after her?"

"Do you ever have to ask Sam? She's family."

"I know, but I wanted to ask anyway and I know it's what Laura would want and we love you." They never say those words, they don't belong in their family. But Sam wanted to, just once, so that his brother knows just how important he is to him. To them all.

"Jeez Sam enough with the schoompy stuff." Dean chuckled, pretending to eat Emily's hand as she tried to put it in his mouth. But he reached out and squeezed Sam's arm, a simple gesture of love that made Sam want to cry.

Xxx

By the time the end of June arrived, Emily was pretty happy up on her feet. She was still grasping onto anything that was available and not quite taking independent steps, but getting there every day. Her little face beamed every time she managed to take a tiny, shaky step and Sam loved sitting on the floor with her. In fact, they'd almost made it into a game to encourage her. All four of them would sit in a circle, holding out their hands for her to grip on to and let her, very slowly, make her way round. Not that she often got very far, she'd often end up curled up in somebody's lap. More often than not it was Cas, who she adored. The angel seemed quite happy to wrap Emily up in his arms and let her stay there for hours at a time, seemingly entranced by her. Once or twice Laura had found Cas humming or singing softly to her, in languages she didn't know, Emily's head tucked into his chest and her tiny hand gripping his shirt.

Sam was starting to realise how much he loathed leaving her every time a job rolled around and he was finding more and more excuses to stick around. He loved being a parent. Even the difficult days were manageable with Laura there and if he stayed at home, it meant Laura could go back to work. Something that was becoming more and more necessary as their funds dipped lower and lower. The unspoken question of work and money was hanging heavier in the air every day.

They'd been back at the bunker when Laura had called to tell Sam she'd gotten a new job, her voice excited and hesitant, as if she was worried he wouldn't approve.

"That's great! Is it at the hospital? What kind of shifts are they going to give you? Can your grandma watch Emily?" Sam asked, trying to stem his flow of questions to let Laura answer.

"Actually, I'm going to be the new medical examiner." She paused, and then launched into a whole flow of dialogue that Sam had to listen carefully to catch, "I mean it's good hours, good pay, more regular shifts, good benefits and round here you need to be a physician to do the job so I'm not wasting my degree and maybe I can do some more training and go back to the hospital and anyway I was always better at working with dead people, my background I guess and I can keep an eye out for anything strange and if so I can either deal with it or give you a call and it's just we could really use the money right now and I don't want you to think I don't love being a mom but-"

"Woah, woah, it's ok, I get it." Interjected Sam. "You don't have to explain it to me, I get it. You're going to be amazing. And I know money doesn't grow on trees and we both want Emily to have things that neither of us did – a normal life for one, and that means a house and food and hobbies and maybe even vacations and those things cost money. You're doing the best thing for your daughter and I'm so proud of you." He added, hoping he could assuage her fears a little, because he is so ridiculously proud of her and the life she's trying to build for their family.

His words must have helped a little, because a week later Laura went off to work clutching a packed lunch (made by Dean, who insisted she would need a proper meal at midday) and waved off by the three men and her daughter. When she made it home, she was exhausted but beaming and over dinner casually began to explain everything, excitement bubbling in her voice. She left out all the disgusting details, they were eating dinner after all, but, she added that with her new knowledge of the inner workings of the coroner's office, she'd be able to help them with paperwork or procedures anytime they needed to get in to see a body.

Xxx

The weekend of Emily's first birthday was one of those memories that Sam knew he would remember for ever. For numerous reasons.

The first thing that happened was on the Friday. He, Cas and Dean had been out for a few days, dealing with a couple of vampires in the next state, and on their way back had made sure to stock up with plenty of food and drink for the little birthday party they were throwing. Except that none of them had ever had a birthday party in their life and while Laura had, and had provided them with a rough list, they may have gone slightly overboard…

Which was why the Impala was full of food, booze, bunting, balloons, streamers, a piñata (because Dean made a bet with Sam in the middle of the store and somehow it had escalated), what seemed like a ton of candy, ice cream and numerous other party bits and pieces they had acquired.

When they pulled up to the house, Sam swung the door open and then considered jumping back in, slamming it shut again and locking the door.

A giant, black dog came bounding down the front path, barking and growling. If hellhounds were given corporeal form, Sam would bet anything that they would look this monster. He stood, frozen to the side of the Impala as the dog considered him, snarling through drooling jaws.

"Errr…. Laura…" he called, trying to keep his voice calm. Dean was still sat in the front of the Impala and Sam heard the click of the lock behind him as Dean locked himself and Cas inside. "Laura!"

Laura appeared at the door, a little concern on her face that spread into an amused smile that lit up all the corners of her face. "Oh, sorry. I didn't know you were coming. This is Shadow."

"Shadow?! Since when did we own a dog?"

"Ummm, since yesterday afternoon. Anyway, I thought you liked dogs?"

"I do but…" _this dog is a monster_ , he declined to add, leaving the words hanging in the air as Laura called said monster back to the house where it sat down next to her, letting Laura scratch it's ears.

"Don't worry, he's an absolute sweetie and he's great with kids. Emily loves him already."

"Ok… but where did he come from?" called Sam, still glued to the Impala.

"Mrs Scalzi asked me if I knew anybody who might offer him a home, her husband just died and she can't really take care of him, I mean she can hardly walk, and he's so energetic and needs a family home. So I said we'd take him." She shot Sam a look that said stop-being-ridiculous so he strolled, in a trying-to-be-casual way down the path and stopped short of the door. Shadow eyed him suspiciously. "Sam this is Shadow, Shadow this is Sam." Sam wasn't really sure it was necessarily to formerly introduce him to the dog but he held out his hand anyway. Shadow sniffed it, looked at Sam (and Sam swore if a dog could roll it's eyes this one would have done) and then trotted into the house.

"See, he likes you." Added Laura, making her way towards the car to start unloading. Sam wasn't convinced but at least the dog hadn't taken a chunk out of his hand... yet.

In fact, Shadow seemed to be mildly indifferent to him it turned out. It was Dean he didn't like particularly, and the feeling was mutual, started by the fact that Shadow almost deliberately pissed up the side of Impala while Dean was looking. Dean was ready to start a war but as Sam reminded him, it was only a dog. It was clear by Friday night though that if he loved any of the men, it was definitely Castiel who happily spent the evening scratching Shadow's ears and stroking his dark fur.

Laura had had hysterics at the amount of party stuff they'd bought, "oh my God Sam, she's only turning one! What are you going to do when she starts having proper birthday parties?", but he and Dean had managed to make good use of most of it – decorating the house and the garden all Saturday morning, even though it did look a little like a glitter bomb had exploded everywhere.

The party was fun, just them, Caroline, a few of Laura's friends (both doctors, hunters and a few local families with kids) and a couple of their friends – Jody, Charlie and Kevin. It was an odd mixture of people and a little bit of an odd mixture of presents. Jody had bought them a ton of baby stuff she'd found in her attic while Charlie gave Emily a set of dinosaur print dresses (which were pretty damn adorable). Dean fired up the grill and distributed mountains of meats, swatting Shadow away as he tried to relentlessly steal food while Dean was occupied. Caroline had supplied them with an enormous chocolate cake, with a little 'one' shaped candle in the top and they held Emily at a respectable distance while they sang 'happy birthday', before she could put both hands into it, something she seemed absolutely desperate to do. Still, somehow, despite their best efforts she still ended up covered in chocolate frosting.

In the evening, Caroline took another family photo of the five of them sat on the deck, dog at their feet. "I want to take one every year," she said and Sam agreed. Sure, he had a few photos of his childhood but big group ones? He'd have loved more of those. That night their house was full of people, on couches and blow up mattresses, but it just made the house feel warmer and there was a glowing happiness in Sam's gut as he looked at his family, it's members made up of blood relatives and those close friends he and Dean had managed to turn into family.

He didn't think he could feel any happier. Until a week later, when Emily said her first word, _"Daddy"._

xxx

Once the first word came out, there was no stopping her. It was mostly just sounds but by September her vocabulary included; daddy, mama, bean (Dean), dow, (Shadow) and ass (Cas). Try as they might Emily seemed to struggle to get her tongue round the 'C' is Castiel and for nearly three weeks it just came as out as _Ass_. Dean thought it was hilarious. Every time she said it he broke down giggling, encouraging her to say it again while Cas gave him alternating filthy and exasperated looks.

"I don't understand why you're laughing Dean, she's obviously trying her best." Cas snapped, swooping Emily up from in front of him, where she stood with her arms outstretched which indicated she wanted either picking up or cuddling as she squeaked,

"Aaaaass, aaaaass" over and over, while Dean giggled helplessly.

"She will get there eventually." Added the angel, stroking the little girl's hair as she buried her head in his shoulder.

Sam noted, quietly, that Cas did spend time talking to her a lot and encouraging her to practice saying his name. The angel was incredibly taken with his honorary niece (they'd already decided that Dean and Cas would both be 'Uncle') and spent hours carrying her around, pointing out flowers or birds or animals and talking to her as if she was an adult. She was going to have an amazing vocabulary eventually.

xxx

"Sam, are you okay?"

It was late one night and he and Laura were lying in bed, Laura's head resting on his chest as Sam ran his fingers softly through her hair. Her question bought him back down to earth with a bump and he realised he hadn't really been listening to what she'd been saying.

"Huh? Yeah I'm fine." He wasn't. Not really. They were setting up to leave again in the morning and there was a desperate ache in his chest because he didn't know how long there were going to be gone. Probably a couple of weeks at least, especially as Dean wanted to call in at the bunker on their way back, and the thought of being apart from Emily for so long was filling him with dread.

"No you're not." Replied Laura, instantly calling out his bullshit, something she seemed to have developed an uncanny knack for being able to do. Perhaps that's what happened in real relationships. "What's up? Is about you all leaving?"

There, that was it. She'd hit the target without even trying. It was like Sam was an open book that she could peruse at her leisure, casually pointing out plot holes and character flaws. Sam said nothing because he didn't know how to respond. He'd never had anyone who could read him as easily. Not even Jessica and he'd loved her more than anything else in the world.

"You don't have to go."

"Yes I do." Sam muttered, letting out a deep sigh.

"Why? You know Dean and Cas are more than capable of doing it themselves." It was the truth, Sam knew it, but he didn't want to let Dean down again. He'd done that enough times.

"I can't."

"Why?" she asked, gently. She wasn't forcing him to answer, more probing, as if trying to understand where he was coming from.

"I just can't."

"Do you feel like you're letting him down?" Boom. Jackpot. Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a winner. How on earth did she do that? "Because I don't think Dean would see it like that. You know he just wants you to be happy."

That's true. But still, he can't stop. And although part of him desperately wants to stop, to stay here forever and live the normal apple-pie life that he always wanted, he knows that he's too far gone for that now. He's tried it before and it doesn't work, hunting will always return and his loyalty to Dean will draw him back in. But, there's never been a child before and Emily's presence is an unknown quantity in this equation and he knows he's drawn to her more strongly than he's ever been to anyone or anything.

"It's just… I can't… Dean and I…" he tries to put these thoughts into words, and even though he's always been good at explaining himself when he wants to, right now he can't seem to even put words in the right order, let alone put them into a coherent sentence.

"It's okay," Laura adds, gently stroking his muscles as if trying to ease the tension building in Sam's chest. "I get it. I do."

And the thing is, she does. Sam doesn't have to explain how he feels to her because she already knows because she's a hunter and the covenant that blood is thicker than water is something she grew up with as well. Besides, she's tried to get out as well and found herself suckered back in. If she hadn't, Sam realises, he wouldn't be here right now and for once he's grateful that hunting is like a drug you can't quite quit.

"What if you didn't have to give it up?" her voice is soft, the question hanging in the air between them.

"What do you mean?" He turns onto his side, sliding down the bed until he's face to face with Laura, a little frown etched into his face as he carefully watches her. There's a small smile playing on her lips and she chews the bottom one slightly, a habit she has when she's nervous. It's one of those tiny, insignificant things that she does but it's one of the millions of reasons that Sam loves her.

"Well, I was thinking…" she takes a deep breath, steadying herself. "What if you lived here, permanently. And Dean and Cas can come and go as they want to. And you can join them for hunts if you want to or if they need you and while you're here you can do research for them and other hunters, be a point of contact… like Bobby used to be. And I know you've started working your way through the Men of Letter's books and research so you could bring some of it here and do it here instead. I mean there's plenty of room and we could turn the shed into your office or the little spare room and convert the attic for Dean and Cas to share, I mean that room isn't really big enough for them anyway, or we could move – buy a bigger house for us all. And-"

Sam cuts her off with a kiss, pulling her close and sliding his hands across her skin. It's not a perfect solution, it would need work and Dean's approval and potentially a lot of DIY, but it's not dissimilar to other ideas he's been considering himself and the fact that she would even suggest this means so much to him. Because finally he's found someone who _understands_ , who knows how much his family means to him and how deeply hunting is now a part of him. Who's willing to make it work, not because she has to but because she _wants_ to.

"You are amazing." Sam mutters, pulling away slightly, cupping Laura's face in his hands and kissing her softly, between each word of "I love you." Over and over until the words stop and gasping, desperate breathing takes over, sweat trickling across shaking skin.

xxx

In a small town, that is really nothing of consequence except to the people who live there, there is a house.

It's not a particularly big house, although it is bigger than it once was, and it is a little rough around the edges in places. It's not a particularly special house, not especially note-worthy in any way. Just another house on another street in another small town.

But to the people who live there, it is special. Because it is the first place that some of them have really called home.

It's October now. The wind has changed and so have the leaves and the sidewalk is a patchwork of colour. Some of the houses are decorated for Halloween although the holiday itself is a week away and not really of any consequence to the people who live in our house, because they've seen things far more terrifying than a plastic skeleton or shadowy cut out.

A large black car pulls up outside. It looks too big to be allowed on this street. Too mean, too menacing. It belongs in another place, another world, another time but it also belongs here.

Three men get out of the car. They're smiling and laughing together as they pull bags out of the trunk and one of them hefts a large box of ancient looking tomes, with faded leather covers and yellowing pages. He is taller than the other two, with scruffy stubble on his chin that suggests he hasn't shaved in a few days, and longer hair that he occasionally tucks behind his ears. Two of them are dressed in jeans and plaid shirts while the third wears a battered trench coat and a blue striped tie.

The door of the house opens and there's a gleeful squealing from inside. A little girl with dark hair and shining green eyes, toddles down the path in dungarees and a red jumper with tiny shoes on her feet, as she picks up speed giggling at the sight of them unloading the car. A great, black dog bounds alongside her, watching her carefully as his thick tails swishes through the air.

The taller man spots her first, setting down the box on the sidewalk and striding to meet her, swooping her up in his arms and spinning her round as if she weighed no more than a feather. He covers her with kisses as she wraps her slightly sticky fingers around his neck pressing a wet kiss to his stubbly cheek and chattering nineteen to the dozen about anything she can think of and the man listens carefully, responding softly and prompting her with little questions even though he doesn't understand everything that she's talking about. He scratches the dog behind the ear with a spare hand.

A woman appears at the door, leaning on the frame and smiling at the scene unfolding in front of her, watching it as if she was recording it to hold in her memory for as long as she can. After a moment or two she moves to help, hugging the other two men tightly, pressing welcoming kisses to their cheeks and picking up the abandoned box. The taller man turns to her, his child still wrapped around his side and a warm, familiar look of love on his face as he bends his head slightly to kiss her and she stands on tiptoes to reach.

Slowly the little family make their way inside the little house, shutting the door behind them and leaving the outside world behind.

And this is where we shall leave them; for this is their home and here they are safe.


End file.
